But how was she supposed to get through life without ever seeing him again? Touching him, hearing his voice?
She sat down on the bed, stared at the floor. The carpet was old, brown, and crusty with things she didn’t want to think about.
She wasn’t sure how long she sat, silent, hurting, but when the door opened, Allie finally remembered where she was. Monica. Right.
“Shit, Al, you look awful.” Monica parked herself on the bed.
“Thanks.”
“I tried to give you some time, but it’s been like, forty-five minutes. Sorry about Trevor.” When Monica reached out and took her hand, Allie choked back a sob. “You’re still breathing and everything, but inside, you feel like a zombie? I get it. When Brad broke up with me…well, I know you think he’s an asshole, but I really love him, you know?”
Allie squeezed her sister’s hand. “I do.”
They sat quietly for some minutes. Then Allie straightened her spine and glanced around the room. “This place is—”
“Disgusting. I know. But it’s all I could afford. I finally got a job, and it sucks ass.”
“Yeah, they usually do. Where are you working?” Allie asked.
“Taco Shack. And just a head’s up, don’t eat the Bomba Burrito. I’m not sure what they put in the sauce, but it looks like puke.”
“Thanks for the tip.” Allie squeezed Monica’s hand once more before letting go. “I’m sorry, Mon. I’m sorry for everything. I’ve been so busy trying to hold it all together that I became kind of mean.”
“I would have gone with ‘controlling bitch,’ but that’s just me.”
Allie shot her a glance. “I’ll admit to controlling. I just wanted what was best for you. Right before she died, I made Mom a promise to look after all of you. I was really terrible at it.”
“No, you weren’t.” Monica bumped Allie’s shoulder with her own. “I’ve been kind of a bitch too. And Brad never cared about me. Not like I cared about him. And that’s crazy painful.”
Allie could relate. After all this time, she and Monica finally had something in common. Trevor didn’t love her at all. And the reality of that was excruciating. If Monica was feeling the same way, Allie had nothing but compassion for her sister. No “I told you so.” Just empathy.
“So what’s next?” Allie asked. “Are you going to stay here? This neighborhood is pretty scary.” She didn’t want to be the first one to mention home. She was trying to respect Monica’s right to live her own life. Damn, letting go was hard. But Allie’d made such a crappy job of her own life, she didn’t have much room to criticize.
“Think Dad will let me come home?”
Allie donned her poker face and tried to play it cool, but relief coursed through her. She’d have been worried sick if Monica stayed in this dump. “Probably. If you go back to school and follow the rules. I know that’s not what you want to hear.”
“It won’t be so bad. And it’s not forever, right?”
“Just until you figure out what you want to do next,” Allie said.
“Are you moving back in too?”
Allie nodded. “Yeah. For a while. I need to figure things out myself.” As she rose from the bed, she wrinkled her nose. “I think this place smells worse the longer I’m here.”
Monica stood too. “Totally. And one more thing.” She winced, shoving her hands in the pockets of her shorts. “I’m going to have to take summer school. I’ve fucked up too much this semester.” She rubbed at her tear-filled eyes. “Mom would be so pissed.”
Allie threw her arm around Monica’s shoulders. “I think she’d be proud that you’re going back and getting your diploma. I’m proud of you.”
Allie helped Monica toss her clothes in a duffel bag and then drove her home. As soon as they walked in the door, Brian was waiting, ready to pounce.
“Where the hell have you been, Mon?” In three strides he stood in front of them, his eyes narrowed. “Do you know how worried we’ve been? Do you have any idea how terrified I was, not knowing where you were?” He reached out and pulled Monica into his arms. “Don’t you ever do that to me again, you hear?”
Monica buried her face in the crook of his shoulder and sobbed.
Allie left them and checked on Brynn. Her little sister sat on her bed with her laptop open and her earbuds in. She popped one out when Allie walked into the room.
“Did you find her?” Brynn asked. “Was she mad that I told on her?”
“No, she’s fine. She’s moving back home and going to summer school. Brad the Douche broke her heart. I’d really like to kick him in the balls for that.”
“What about you, Al? Are you staying home?” Brynn’s mouth twisted to the side.
Allie pushed at a lock of Brynn’s hair. “I’m staying for now. And I’m going to be all right. I promise.” Allie wasn’t sure how she’d get through this in one piece. But she had to try. Survive. That’s what the Campbell family did best.
“I was worried when you wouldn’t get out of bed,” Brynn said. “That’s not like you. And I’m going to miss them all. Even Trevor.”
“I know you will, honey. He’s a good man.”
Brynn frowned and pulled the other bud out of her ear. “How can you say that? He broke up with you. What Brad the Douche did to Monica, Trevor did to you. You should hate him.”
Allie patted Brynn’s leg and left the room. She wished she could hate Trevor. It would make things a lot easier.
Chapter 23
Allie handed the room card to the couple from Minnesota. “Here you go. Have a great stay, and if you need anything, just call the front desk.” She smiled and watched them walk to the elevator. Newlyweds. Sweet.
She’d only been here for a few weeks, but she liked it. The casino was one of the larger ones on the Strip, and it was much better than her last job. Better pay, better hours. Couldn’t ask for more than that.
Well, she could. She had. But she lost that hand, and it was best to put Trevor behind her and move on. Every time she thought about him, she’d flick the rubber band on her wrist. She’d done it so often, she had a bruise.
He hadn’t called her, hadn’t come to see her. She absently pulled at the band and let it snap back, felt the sharp sting, and took a deep breath. No more morose thoughts. She was moving on.
After work today, she even had an appointment to look at an apartment. It was time. Time to start living her own life. Serious boundary lines had been crossed with her family, and she needed to step back and put herself first for once. She’d always wanted to go back to school and finish her degree. Now was the perfect opportunity.
And she wanted Trevor. Snap. Damn, that was starting to hurt.
***
Trevor sat in the garden and stared at the pond. That was all he’d done lately. He didn’t have an appetite, didn’t have the concentration to work. He didn’t even give a damn if he lost every dime. He’d ignored his lawyer’s calls so often, the man had started showing up in person. Trevor just sent him away.
Nigel and Mags had moved out, but they insisted on coming over. Each and every goddamned day.
Trevor heard footsteps behind him but didn’t bother turning around. Nigel. Like clockwork, his father would seek him out at the same time every afternoon.
“How’s tricks, Son?”
“Same as yesterday. And the day before that,” Trevor said, his gaze remaining fixed on the water.
“Swallow your pride. Go to her. She’s miserable. You’re miserable. Well, to be honest, you’ve always been a little stroppy.”
“Allison called it pissy. And I can’t just go to her. The ball’s in her court, and it’s obvious she wants nothing to do with me.” But God, how he missed her. No, he didn’t just miss her. He fucking loved her. He hadn’t believed in the emotion. But somehow, Allison Campbell had fallen into his life and altered it completely. He wasn’t sure when he finally realized how he felt. Probably when he walked out of that disgusting motel room where Monica had been staying. He’d never felt so much pain in his life, walking away from the one person who brought him joy. Yes. Fucking joy. Trevor had experienced it with Allie, but he’d been too much of a git to realize it at the time.