"Now, you listen." The grin was gone. "Whatever it takes is what I'll do. Whenever it's needed is when I'll do it. You don't have to like it, but you'll damn well live with it."
He pushed off, shifting to the balls of his feet when he saw her eyes narrow with purpose. Then he let out a sigh and jammed his hands into his pockets. "Bloody hell. I love you."
She'd been poised to spring. Those two sentences, said with equal parts frustration and weariness, arrowed straight to her heart. He stood there, his hair tousled from sleep and sex and struggle, his eyes deeply blue and filled with annoyance and love.
Everything inside her shifted, then settled into the pattern she supposed it was fated for. "I know. I'm sorry. You were right." She tunneled her fingers through her hair, distracted enough not to see the flicker of surprise on his face. "I don't like your methods, but you were right. I was pushing too hard before I was a hundred percent. You've been telling me to recharge for days, and I didn't want to hear it."
"Why?"
"I was scared." It was hard to admit it, even to a man she knew she could tell every secret.
"Scared?" He crossed to her, sat down, and took her hand in his. "Of what?"
"That I wouldn't be able to go back, not all the way back. That I wouldn't be strong enough, or sharp enough to be back on the job. And if I couldn't…" She squeezed her eyes shut. "I've got to be a cop. I have to do the job. If I can't – I've lost myself."
"You could have talked to me about this."
"I wouldn't even talk to myself about it." She rubbed her fingers over her eyes, irritated that there were tears brewing behind them. "Since I went back, I've been mostly doing paperwork, court dates. This is my first homicide since I got off disability leave. If I can't handle it…"
"You are handling it."
"Whitney ordered me home last night – either that or he was taking me off the case. I get here and you threaten to pour drugs down my throat."
"Well." He gave her hand a sympathetic squeeze. "That was lousy timing. But I believe, in both cases, it was a matter of wanting you to rest, rather than a criticism of your abilities."
He took her chin in his hand, rubbing his thumb over the center dent. "Eve, there are times when you are astonishingly unaware of self. You push yourself to the wall on every case. The only difference with this is that you were physically shaky to begin with. You're the same cop you were when I met you last winter. And occasionally that's a frightening thought."
"Yeah, I'm counting on that." She studied their joined hands. "But I'm not the same person I was last winter." With her fingers linked with his, she lifted her head, looked into his eyes. "I don't want to be. I like who I am now. Who we are now."
"Good." He leaned over to kiss her. "Because we're stuck."
She fisted a hand in his hair to deepen the kiss. "It's turned out to be a pretty good deal. But…" She nibbled lightly at his bottom lip then bit it sharply enough to make him yelp in surprise and pain. "If you ever again let Summerset put his hands on me when I'm out…" She rose, breathed deeply, and decided she felt incredible. "I'll shave you bald in your sleep. I'm starving," she said abruptly. "Want breakfast?"
He considered her for a moment, then ran a considering hand over his long black hair. He was, fortunately, a very light sleeper. "Yeah. I could eat."
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Armed with the results of the probability scan on Rudy, Eve paced Dr. Mira's outer office. She needed the weight of Mira's profile on him to yank him back into Interview and, hopefully, into a cell.
Time was passing. With or without the tag, she expected him to move on to number five that night.
"Does she know I'm out here?" Eve demanded of Mira's assistant.
Well used to impatient cops, the woman didn't bother to glance up from her own work. "She's in a session. She'll be with you as soon as possible."
Pumped by refreshed energy, Eve paced to the far wall and eyed with suspicion a dreamy watercolor of some seacoast town. She paced back and scowled at the mini AutoChef. She knew it wouldn't be stocked with coffee. Mira preferred her patients and associates to sip soothers or tea.
The minute Mira's door opened, Eve whirled and pounced. "Dr. Mira – " She broke off when she spotted Nadine Furst.
The reporter flushed, then straightened her shoulders and met Eve's annoyed glare dead on.
"If you start going around me to pump my profiler for data, you're going to find yourself without a departmental source, and up on charges, pal."
"I'm here on personal business," Nadine said stiffly.
"Save the bullshit for your viewing audience."
"I said I'm here on personal business." Nadine held up a hand before Mira could interfere. "Dr. Mira counseled me after the… incident last spring. You kept me alive, Dallas, but she kept me sane. Now and again I need a little help, that's all. Now if you'll get the hell out of my way – "
"I'm sorry." Eve wasn't sure if she was more surprised or ashamed, but neither sensation sat well. "It was rough on you. I know what it's like to carry around bad memories. I'm sorry, Nadine."
"Yeah, right." She jerked a shoulder, striding out quickly. Her heels tapped on tile, and the sound echoed away.
"Please come in, Eve." Mira, her face carefully blank, stepped back, then shut the door behind Eve.
"Okay, I jumped and I shouldn't have." She jammed her hands in her pockets to keep from squirming under the air of disapproval Mira created with a quiet look. "She's been nagging me about this case, and we've got a press conference set up in a couple of hours. I figured she was trying to cut some corners."
"You have difficulty trusting, even after a measure of trust has been established." Mira sat, smoothed her skirt. "You were also quick with an apology that came from the heart. You are, and always have been, a study of contradictions, Eve."
"I'm not here on personal business." Eve's tone was flat and dismissive, but she glanced back toward the door with concern in her eyes. "Is she okay?"
"Nadine is a strong and determined woman – traits you should recognize. I can't discuss this with you, Eve. It's privileged."
"Yeah." She blew out a breath. "She's pissed at me now. I'll give her a one-on-one and smooth her out again."
"She values your friendship. Not only the information you give her. Are you going to sit down? I don't intend to scold you."
Eve grimaced, then cleared her throat and held out the file she carried. "I have the probability scan on Rudy. With current data he comes out at eighty-six point six percent. That's high enough to poke at him again, but I can tie him up tighter after you test him. Rollins said Rudy's lawyer popped to it."
"Yes, I have him scheduled for this afternoon as you flagged it Priority One."
"I need to know his head, his violence potential, so I can put him away long enough for me to dig up evidence. I don't think he's going to break, or deal. If the sister knows anything, I can work on her. She'll fold eventually."
"I'll give you what I can, as soon as I can. I understand the pressure you and your team are under. However," she added, tilting her head, "you look well. Rested. The last time I saw you I was a little concerned. I still think you came back to full duty sooner than was wise."
"You and everyone else." Then she shrugged. "I feel good. Better. I had a top-level relaxation therapy session last night, and about ten hours sleep."
"Really?" Mira's lips curved. "And how did Roarke manage that?"
"He drugged me." At Mira's delighted burst of laughter, Eve scowled. "Figures you'd be on his side."