“Leonard!” Ali said with a grin, displaying the gold eyetooth that Leonard figured was a status symbol in shitty sand countries.
“Can we go in your office and talk?” Leonard asked. “Just for five minutes?”
“For my old friend Leonard, yes,” Ali said.
And Leonard was glad he’d worn his only clean T-shirt and freshly laundered jeans. His sneakers were worn out, but he felt that he didn’t look as poor and desperate as he really was.
When they got inside the office, Ali said, “You got some liquor for me, Leonard?”
“Well, no, not yet. But I’m working on it.”
Ali turned sullen. He didn’t ask Leonard to sit. If this thief wasn’t selling liquor, what could he possibly want?
“So?” Ali said, sitting on the corner of his desk.
“I got this deal in the works, Ali,” Leonard began, “but I need an advance. Not much, but enough to pay a guy to give me an alarm code.”
“Advance?” Ali said, and he started fidgeting with one of his gold pinkie rings, the one with a big white stone that Leonard doubted was real.
“Maybe…five hundred?”
“You wish to borrow five hundred dollars?” Ali said, incredulous.
“As an advance against my fee when I deliver the stock.”
“You are going crazy,” Ali said, standing up. “Crazy, Leonard.”
“Wait, Ali!” Leonard said. “Two hundred. I think I could shake the alarm code loose for two hundred.”
“You waste my time,” Ali said, checking the face on his huge gold watch.
“Ali,” Leonard said, “we done lots of business in the past. I can still help you out. I got several plans in the works.”
Ali Aziz glanced at the photos on the shelf over the TV. Then at Leonard, then back at the pictures. He went around his desk and sat in his executive chair and motioned Leonard to the client chair.
Leonard’s legs were shaky and his hands were sweating now. He needed some rock bad. Perspiration was running down his freckled cheeks from his rusty hairline, and sweat beaded under his sockets, beneath the vacant blue-eyed stare. But he was full of hope and he waited.
Nearly a minute passed before Ali spoke. When he did, he said, “Leonard, you are a good thief, no?”
“I’m the best,” Leonard Stilwell said, trying to look confident. “You know that. We never had no trouble when Whitey and me sold you liquor. No trouble at all.”
“No trouble,” Ali said. “That is so. But now Whitey is dead.”
“And if I just had the alarm code that this guy said he’d…”
Ali shook his head, waving his hand palm down, and Leonard shut up.
“You are giving me a big idea,” Ali said. “About the alarm code. You enter and steal from business buildings many times,” Ali said. “You also can enter and steal from a house, no?”
“Yeah, sure, but why would I want to? There’s nothing in most houses. Even the big houses up where you live. People don’t keep cash laying around no more. Everything’s done with credit cards. And a lot of that fancy jewelry you see at red carpet events? It’s fake.”
“How you know where I live?”
“You told me one time,” Leonard said. “Up in the hills. Mount Olympus, right?”
Ali nodded. “Okay, but I do not live there no more. My bitch wife is living there with my son. We are in a very big divorce fight. The house is sold and we must wait for escrow to close up.”
“Sorry to hear that,” Leonard said, unable to concentrate fully. Thinking how fast he was going to drive his Honda to Pablo’s Tacos or the cyber café and score something to smoke, wondering how much he could get out of this Ay-rab.
“I am thinking that I need for you to enter my house on a Thursday. At four o’clock in the day. There is something I must have for my divorce fight.”
“What something?”
“Bank papers. Very important.”
“Can’t you just ask for them? Or have your lawyer do it?”
“Impossible,” Ali said. “My bitch wife is not going to give them. She wishes to use the documents against me.”
“Are they in a safe? I never done a safe.”
“No, just in a desk drawer.”
Now Leonard was perspiring even more. This didn’t sound right. He didn’t like the way Ali was explaining it. There was too much hesitation, like he was making it up as he went along. If he’d only smoked one little blunt to mellow him out, he could think better.
Finally he said, “Another reason I never did much housebreaking was ’cause there’s always a chance somebody will walk in on you. I’m not into violence, Ali.”
“No violence,” Ali said. “That is why Thursday is the correct day. My wife does the exercise that afternoon. The maid finishes housecleaning at four o’clock. She sets the alarm, she locks doors, she goes. Her grandson collects her in front. Then you enter my house and get the bank papers for me.”
“I don’t know, Ali,” Leonard said. “It ain’t that easy. How about the alarm? You got the code?”
“I am sure that my bitch wife changes all locks so my key is no good. And she also changes the regular alarm code. But I do not think she can change the code for the maid. Lola is a most stupid Mexican who cannot see good up close. Stupid old woman cannot find most of dirt in the house neither. I want to fire her, but my wife says that Lola is very good with my Nicky. Okay, Lola many times forgets her correct code and many times she sets off alarms. My wife is not changing the code for Lola, no way. That code I give to you.”
“Lemme lock on this,” Leonard said. “I break in through one of the access doors that’s alarmed, right? A door that’s used for entering and leaving, so there’s no panic at the alarm company? Not as long as I enter the maid’s code within a minute or so, right?”
“Absolutely correct,” Ali said with a reassuring smile.
“You could do the same,” Leonard said warily.
After a short hesitation, Ali said, “No, I cannot. Number one reason: I cannot permit for someone to see me doing such a thing. My lawyer would explode like…like…”
“An IED in Baghdad.”
“Precisely. Number two reason: I do not know how to enter a door that has the lock in place without making big damage.”
“Why is that important? When she finds the papers’re missing, she’ll know somebody broke in and stole them.”
“No, no,” Ali said, and after a thoughtful pause he continued. “She must not learn that the papers are of so much value and she must not know they are missing. You see, there are many other documents there.”
Now Leonard was certain that something was wrong and that Ali was winging it. But at least it didn’t involve violence, so Leonard said, “Windows are out of the question. And I’m sure you got a motion detector. Is there an attached garage?”
“Yes, the garage attaches to the house.”
“Do you think she changed the code on the garage door opener?”
Ali thought for a moment and said, “I do not think so. The gardener has a door opener and so does Lola.”
“Do you have one? I mean besides the one that’s probably built into your car.”
“Yes, I have the old one.”
“I’m sure the front door has a dead bolt and probably the other doors, but how about the door leading to the garage? A dead bolt? The kind you have to turn?”
“Dead bolt?” Ali pondered. “Yes.”
“And another lock, right? One on the doorknob or handle that locks by itself when the door closes unless you turn a little thumb-turn on the inside?”
“Yes, that is correct. On the doorknob. It is a very old lock.”
“And is the alarm pad right inside that door?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” Leonard said. “Here’s the deal. Most people don’t bother to throw the dead bolt on the access door from the garage to the house. They feel comfortable that two doors are between them and the street. And besides, they’re always bringing something in or out of the car to the house. Do you think your maid might lock the dead bolt on that door when she sets the alarm and leaves?”