Jack rested his hand on the back of Glory’s chair.
“Now I have to put all that aside and stop tormenting myself with the thought that I can do anything about — anything. Yes. But the Lord does work through human beings, through families.” He cleared his throat. “Part of it is giving care and another part is accepting it. That second part is difficult and very important. I know I’ve been a burden to everybody for years and years, and you have all been very good to me. And I’ve enjoyed that, even though I never enjoyed the suffering and the general uselessness that made it necessary. And I hope I have made it clear that I thank God for you, that you have been a great blessing to me. In the time he has been home, Jack has shown great kindness to me. Glory, too, of course. Yes.”
He closed his eyes, and frowned with the carefulness he brought to forming his conclusion.
“That’s what the family is for,” he said. “Calvin says it is the Providence of God that we look after those nearest to us. So it is the will of God that we help our brothers, and it is equally the will of God that we accept their help and receive the blessing of it. As if it came from the Lord Himself. Which it does. So I want you boys to promise me you will help each other.”
Jack laughed.
“And accept help, too. I want you to shake hands and promise me that, too.”
Teddy held out his hand, and Jack took it and released it.
Teddy said, “I promise.”
Jack said, “All right.”
His father looked at him. “What was that, Jack? I thought I heard you say ‘All right.’ I’m sorry, but that seems a bit evasive.”
Jack said, “Yes, sir, I guess it was. I just don’t see how I’m supposed to keep up my side of it. How I could help Teddy.”
“Well, that’s what I mean about receiving help. Teddy took a world of responsibility for you, every way you’d let him do it, and it was because his happiness depended on yours. So the greatest kindness you could ever have shown him was to accept the good he intended for you. You owed him that much. And I mean spiritual help, too. Particularly spiritual help.”
Teddy smiled at Jack and shrugged, sorry for their father’s candor and helpless to bring an end to it. He said, “I just liked Jack. I liked to spend time with him. He doesn’t owe me anything.”
“Oh!” their father said. “I am not in the mood to argue.” His voice broke. “I asked Jack to promise, and he wouldn’t do it. I don’t want to hear you making excuses for him. That has happened far too often, in my opinion.” He was weeping.
Jack said, “No, I was just asking a question. I’ll promise. I mean, I do promise.”
His father did not open his eyes, but he said with great dignity, “I believe I anticipated your question, Jack, and I believe I answered it. Now I’m tired.” And he turned toward the wall.
Teddy went to him and smoothed his hair away from his face, and very gently and casually he laid his fingertips on his brow and his temple and the artery in his neck. He took a handkerchief from the drawer where his father kept them and touched the tears off the old man’s face, lifting his head to dry the wetter, downward side. Then, still holding his head, he turned the pillow to make it dry and cool. He lifted the blanket and sheet to straighten them, and glanced at his father’s slight and crooked body.
“Where’s your stethoscope?” the old man asked.
“It’s in the car.”
“A good place for it. My heart will do whatever it wants to, and it has my permission. Same for my lungs.” Then he said, “You might look in on Ames.”
Teddy stood there, lightly caressing the old man’s hair and face with the handkerchief. “How about some aspirin?”
“No harm in it, I suppose.”
Jack said, “I think I just used it up. I mean, I used it up.”
“I keep it in my bag. So that’s no problem. I’ll leave a bottle here for you.”
Jack put his hands to his face and laughed. “I can’t believe I did that.”
“No matter.” He glanced at Jack, took note of his color, the tremor in his injured hands. “There’s plenty for everybody.”
Glory went to the car, found the pebbly black bag in the passenger seat, and brought it into the kitchen. Opened, it smelled strongly of leather and rubbing alcohol. There were cotton balls and tongue depressors in glass bottles, and thermometers, and assorted pills and salves and syrups and the stethoscope and several bottles of aspirin. When Glory brought the glass of water and two tablets, Teddy looked at them and said, “Three.” He watched her prop her father up to help him swallow. Then he tucked him in again and said, “You’ll feel better when you’ve had some sleep.”
He went into the kitchen, filled a glass of water, and set it on the table with three aspirin tablets next to it. “I use a lot of the stuff myself,” he said, and held up his right hand. The fingers had begun to enlarge at the knuckles and twist out of line.
Jack said, “That’s hard.”
Teddy nodded. “I wish it was only my hands. You’re okay?”
“So far.”
“Glory?”
“I seem to be.”
“Well,” he said, “at least I know how tough the old fellow has been all these years. It’s no wonder he gets cross. How’s he eating?”
Glory said, “Not very well lately.”
Teddy nodded. “What are you making, Glory? Chicken and dumplings? He’ll enjoy that, if there’s anything in the world he can still enjoy.” He said, “It smells great. I’m sorry I can’t stay for supper. I have another doctor covering for me, but when people are in trouble they like to see a familiar face. So I’d better get back to work.” He hugged Glory, and he held out his hand to Jack. “It’s been wonderful to see you,” he said. “It really has.”
Jack said, “Yes. Thanks.” Then, “Teddy, you know, I’d like to ask you something, if you could spare a few more minutes. It’ll probably be a waste of your time. I know you have to leave.”
Teddy set his bag by his chair and sat down again at the table. “Are you kidding? I can spare the time! I see patients every day of my life. Seeing you is — very exceptional.” Then he said, “I’ll just make a few phone calls.”
JACK SAT DOWN AT THE TABLE, NEXT TO HIS BROTHER, SO he could speak softly. He said, “What does he want me to tell him? I mean, I know what he wants, but how do I say it?” He looked at Teddy. “The problem is, I’ll be lying. I thought that mattered. Well, I suppose it does matter. I’d know what to say otherwise.” He laughed. “I flattered myself that I had a scruple. But I was just making the poor old devil miserable for no reason. Except that I didn’t know how to end it. I realize that now. Glory said it would be all right. If I tried to, you know, talk to him.”
Teddy took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “So you want to put him at ease about the state of your soul. That’s a good idea, I think.”
Jack laughed. “That may be more than I can hope for. I’d like to tell him I believe in — something. Maybe not the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting. But something.”
“Well.” Teddy toyed with his glasses. Then he sat back. “You know, I thought about the ministry for a while. Very seriously. But I had to face the fact that I wasn’t good at talking about these things. It wasn’t my calling, as they say. Have you spoken with Ames?”
Jack said, “I’ve tried, a couple of times. It doesn’t matter. I just thought I’d ask.”
“No, I don’t mean we should give up on this. I’m just reminding you of my limitations. This will take some effort.”
“You have to go.”
Teddy shook his head. “This is for the old fellow’s comfort. A legitimate medical concern.”
“All right. Thanks.”
There was a silence.