I could practically see Linc's muscles tense as he went stone still. The look on his face was not very encouraging, but judging by the way he was chewing on his bottom lip, I could tell that he didn’t want to let the guys down.
"I don't think that's a wise move," I told them, and luckily the guys agreed; everyone except Linc.
"I know, and I feel like an ass for asking. We could ask for a postponement. Maybe they'd let us come back after the first of the year," Court said.
"No!" Linc raised his voice in order to be heard over the noise of the group. "I want to do it, but there are some things that will need to change in order for me to be able to go.”
"Anything. You name it," Court agreed.
"Honesty and I need our own transportation. I won't be able to attend any of the after parties like I used to. You guys will just have to make an excuse for me. Hell, if they haven't been living under a rock for the last few months, they'll know why I'm not there. The last stipulation is that Courtney and Teagan aren't allowed anywhere near our bus, dressing room, or hotel room. Fuck! Put them on a separate floor altogether." Linc demanded.
I exhaled a heavy breath that I didn't realize I was holding.
"I don't know about this, Linc. What about your meetings and doctor appointments? Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked, as I crouched down in front of where he sat on the sofa.
"I've got you to help me during situations like this. We'll get through it together," he replied, as he laid his hand over the top of mine where it rested on his knee. "Don't worry about the meetings. I can find and AA or NA meeting in any city we travel through, and I can see if Doc will let me do therapy sessions over the phone. If not, we'll work something out. Okay?" He asked with a smile. I was sure he was trying to come across as reassuring, but I was not so sure.
"Okay! It's settled then. Linc and Honesty will travel in one bus, and you guys will travel in the other." Court explained. The look of distrust on my brother’s face didn’t escape me, but he kept his comments to himself. "Alright ladies, the buses roll at five-thirty tomorrow morning. Don't be late," he demanded before leaving for the night.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. I thought for sure that Linc would have the much needed time to distance himself from his old lifestyle. I could only hope that he was strong enough mentally to take this on again. I couldn’t help but feel like he was a lamb being led to slaughter, but I didn’t dare tell him that. All I could do was be there to encourage him, and try to keep him from making a mistake. After knowing about Teagan, I dared her to show her face within fifty feet of the guys. I would be damned if I let her pull him down again.
"I guess we should go pack, huh?" I announced as I stood and started to walk away, but Linc stopped me when he reached for my hand.
"Honesty, it's going to be okay, I promise," he said. I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded in agreement and made my way to my room to pack.
What do you pack when you know you're going to be on the road for six months?
****
I had forgotten what it was like to crawl out of bed so early in the morning. I woke up at four-thirty and decided to go ahead and get out of bed, being that the buses would arrive in less than an hour. I shuffled down the stairs in my Sponge Bob pajamas and headed straight for the coffee pot. I needed caffeine before I could even think straight. I was pouring my first cup when Linc stepped into the kitchen, freshly showered. The smell of his spicy cologne tickled my nose and awakened all of my girly parts. It was not until I heard him say my name with a questioning tone that I realized that I was staring.
"Honesty? You okay?" He asked with a sexy ass grin on his face. Damn. It was too early in the morning to be having these kinds of thoughts.
"It's too damn early to be up," I grumbled as I passed him a cup of coffee and took a seat at the table.
"Yeah, it sucks, but you'll get used to it," he said, taking a sip of his coffee. "Didn't sleep much last night?" He asked thoughtfully and I shook my head. I really didn't sleep much due to worrying about the tour and what it was going to be like for him to be subjected to all of the things that could break him so easily.
"How about you? How'd you sleep last night?" I asked, and I noticed the way he shifted in his seat. This was something I had noticed since I had been around him. Anytime he was uncomfortable with a situation, he either shifted in his seat or shuffled his feet as if he were warring with something in his mind.
"I-I slept okay, but I usually don't sleep well the night before we leave. I guess it's from the pressure of wanting the tour to go well. When I didn't fall asleep right away, I decided to work on a song that I have been writing for months now. I was eventually able to catch a few hours of z's. It is nothing new. It kind of goes with the territory," he told me and swallowed the last of his coffee.
"Linc?" I asked as he stared down at his empty mug. He lifted his gaze to meet mine and something flashed behind his eyes, just for a moment, and then it was gone. It looked like uncertainty, but I was not positive. "You'll tell me if you need help. Right?" I asked. I couldn’t help but worry. I mean, he had some serious issues; probably some that I didn’t even know about.
What was I thinking by taking this on?Wait; of course, I know what I was thinking: Linc and I alone on a bus for the next six months. Although it started out as us alone in the condo, but alone on the bus was still alone. I would be alone with a man who not so long ago, rocked my world beyond belief. I was so doomed.
"Honesty?"
I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard my name. I looked up to see Linc smiling at me. It was then that I realized that I had been staring again.
"You were staring at me," he said with a sexy grin.
"No, I wasn't." I was so busted.
"Yes. I'm pretty sure that you were," he teased. Damn! It was going to be an interesting six months for sure.
"I was just thinking that I need to head upstairs and shower. The buses will be here soon. I'll see you on the bus," I told him before disappearing down the hall to my room. It didn’t take me long to get ready because I had packed my suitcases the night before. I showered and combed through my damp hair before dressing in a pair of black yoga pants, a long, pink t-shirt and flip flops. If I was going to be travelling for the next twenty-four hours, I intended to be comfortable.
By the time I rolled my suitcase into the kitchen, Court had arrived and was talking with the guys around the table.
"Honesty, I need a word with you," he said before turning his attention back to the band. "Guys, go ahead and load up. We're pulling out in fifteen minutes," he said after checking the time on his watch.
The guys all stood to head to the bus when I noticed Linc looking at me. He lifted his brow and tilted his head toward Court, as if he was silently asking me if I was okay. I smiled and gave him shake of my head before he followed the guys outside and onto the bus.
I turned my attention to Court, who was holding a stack of papers in his hand.