"I'm taking my princess to bed. You need your rest because I'm not finished with you," he said as he carried me to the back of the bus and laid me on the queen sized bed. He pulled the comforter up around my neck and placed a kiss on my forehead before walking toward the door.
"Where are you going? Aren't you coming to bed?" I asked, fighting another yawn, causing him to chuckle.
"Nah. You sleep, baby. I'm going to write a bit. You rest and I'll be back before you know it," he told me as he turned the light off and closed the door.
I think I was asleep before the door ever closed. I awoke sometime in the night and rolled to my side in search of Linc's warm body, but found cool sheets instead. The clock on the nightstand showed 3:30 A. M., and from the looks of the sheets, he hadn’t even been in bed.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I decided to go in search of him. I opened the bedroom door and walked down the narrow hall between the bunks and found him sitting at the dining nook, just like the time before. The bus was quiet except for the muted sounds of road traffic. I stared for a moment as he wrote in his spiral bound notebook. The same one he used to write his music.
"I know you're there babe," he said, softly as he turned in his seat and smiled.
"How did you know I was here? I tried to be quiet. I'm sorry if I disturbed your work," I said, feeling the need to apologize.
He was out of his seat and had me wrapped in his arms before I knew what was happening. He leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose.
"First of all, no matter what I'm doing, I want you by my side, and second, I always know when you're near. I can sense it," he said, kissing my lips and tightening his hold on me.
"I feel it too, you know," I said into his chest.
"What?" He asked with a look of confusion.
"I can feel when you're close by before I even see you, before you say a word. I know you're there. The little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, I get goose bumps, and my heart begins to beat really fast, and that's all before I ever hear your voice or see your face. When our eyes meet, my heart skips a beat and a thousand butterflies take flight in my stomach. It's the most amazing feeling," I said. I could feel myself blushing when I noticed the intense look in his eyes.
"There's something that I need to talk to you about. I was going to wait until we reached Billings, but you're awake, so I guess now's as good a time as any," he told me and I immediately got a sick feeling in my stomach; not from butterflies. It was the feeling of dread and anxiety over what he was about to tell me. I just put it all out there for him and he was about to tell me that he had changed his mind about marrying me.
Oh my God!
Grabbing my hand, he pulled me to the front of the bus and lowered himself down onto the sofa. I started to sit beside him when he pulled on my arm and I fell into his lap. "That's much better," he said. "You know I write most of the songs for the band, right?" He asked. I nodded, still wondering where all of this was going. "I've been writing tonight, but I've also been rolling some things over in my mind. It has to do with my future," he paused for a moment before continuing, "our future. I really want to make a life with you, sweetheart. I promise to work really hard to make you happy, and to stay clean. I'm thinking I jumped back into this too soon. How would you feel about me leaving the tour? We could go home. You can finish your degree and plan our wedding," he said with a smile that caused those butterflies to take flight. “I can go to my meetings, follow up with my therapist, and write music. It's what I love doing. What do you say to that, baby?" He asked, cupping my face in his big hands.
"I think that's a wonderful idea," I said, and I could hear him release a heavy breath he'd been holding. "I love you, no matter what you choose to do. I believe in you, and I'll be by your side, no matter what," I told him. I noticed that his eyes were filled with tears. He buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath.
"Where have you been all of my life? I love you so much. You're one addiction that I'm happy to have. I'll talk to the guys when we arrive in Montana and then we can make some plans. Okay?" He said, leaning in and claiming my mouth with his.
"Linc?" I said in between his kisses.
"Yeah, baby," he stopped kissing me long enough to meet my eyes.
"Take me to bed?" I didn't have to ask him twice as he scooped me up and practically ran down the narrow hallway. How he kept from banging into something, I'll never know. He lowered me onto the bed and looked at me with so much love in his eyes. We made love twice before falling asleep in each other's arms.
Linc
Billings, Montana
We checked into the Holiday Inn Grand Casino and headed to our rooms to shower and get ready for the day.
"I've got something that I'd like to discuss with you guys before the show tonight," I told the guys as we stepped into the private elevator to head up to the penthouse suite. Court thought it would be nice if we all shared the penthouse this time, being that we would be there for a couple of days. We had the show that night and a promotional event the following night before we left for the next stop on the tour.
"Okay man. We can do that. Why don't we all meet for lunch in an hour? We can discuss it then," Court said and we all agreed.
"You know you're sleeping with me right? Don't even think about taking a separate room just because your brother is staying in the same suite," I whispered in her ear and I could feel her body shiver next to me. Her lips curled at the corners when she turned to respond.
"I wouldn't dream of it, and besides, I'm pretty sure my brother knows that we're sleeping together," she said. She ran her pink tongue over her bottom lip. "I'm just not sure how he's going to respond to our news later. We might want to think about getting a different suite," she said before pulling her bottom lip between her teeth and chewing on it.
"Let me handle it. It's going to be okay. I promise," I assured her. Once we had all showered and dressed for lunch, we headed to the hotel grill where Court had reserved a private table in the corner of the room. The bartender came over and took our drink orders, water all around, then disappeared for a few moments before returning with our drinks. He gave us all menus and disappeared again to give us time to decide.
"So, what did you want to talk to us about?" Jinx asked, eying me suspiciously, as if he were trying to read my mind. I could feel the lump in my throat growing as I tried to push it back down.
"I love you guys. You know that, right?" I said.
"What the fuck man? I don't swing that way! You know that!" Chance was quick to respond while the other guys stared at me, trying to figure out where I was going with the conversation.
"I don't mean it like that, dickhead," I replied through gritted teeth. "Just shut the fuck up and let me finish," I said, pausing as I tried to gather my thoughts, being careful to word things correctly. "I've made the decision to leave the tour, especially after what happened with Teagan in Seattle. I've thought about taking out a restraining order, but that wouldn't be good for the tour, and it also wouldn't be good publicity for the band. I need to concentrate on my sobriety and getting better. Besides, I can continue to write from home," I said, taking in the shocked expressions on each of their faces.
"I'm happy for you man. I think we were wrong in asking you to come with us after only being out of rehab for a few days. If there hadn't been so much pressure on you to begin with, things might not have gotten so bad to begin with," Jinx said, and each of the guys voiced their agreement.