The little girl looked in his direction, then stopped dead in her tracks. She was an adorably lovely little girl, with her mother's beauty written all over her face. She had pattern green eyes, common for a Were-cat, a cute little nose and high cheeks that made her absolutely adorable. She looked at him for a long moment, her expression serious and sober, and then she smiled at him, showing tiny little fangs. She dropped the basket and ambled towards him with surprising speed and dexterity for such a young child, holding out her arms to him.
He didn't quite know what to do. Why was she running towards him? She didn't know him. Jesmind should have taught her that it was a very bad idea to be so friendly to strangers, even other Were-cats.
She got closer and closer, and as she did so, the sense of her assaulted him, smashed at him with its force, almost overwhelmed him. Such power! This little girl, untapped, had the potential to be a Sorcerer that would even eclipse him! Her power was unbelievable!
The gift of Sorcery has been introduced into the Were-cat line, the Goddess had told him. Through you. Your children will have the gift.
Your children.
Children. Not child, but children.
Tarrin felt his knees give out from under him, and he dropped to them in the soggy ground as the little girl rushed towards him exuberantly, crying out a single word that seemed to drown out all sound throughout the world.
"Papa!"
She hugged him happily around his neck, holding onto him and laughing, but he did not respond. He couldn't understand it. It was true, it was true; this little girl was his daughter. But she was too old! She had to be five or six, yet he'd only met Jesmind two years ago! His mind reeled from it, couldn't rationalize it, couldn't understand what had happened, make sense of it all.
He grabbed the little girl and pushed her away, looked into her eyes. There was no denying it. This girl was his daughter. She was his child. She looked at him with adoring eyes, smiling brightly. "Aren't you happy to see me, papa?" she asked in a bubbling voice. "Mama said if we waited long enough, you'd come home!"
Mama. Jesmind. Tarrin's eyes turned flat, startling the little girl, and he pushed her away just enough to return to his feet, towering over the little girl. "Jesmind," Tarrin hissed seethingly. "Jezzzz- MIND!" he rose to a shout, his ears laying back.
She appeared on the porch, and his entire world seemed to spin at the sight of her. She looked just as he remembered. She wore a plain cotton shirt and a pair of those canvas breeches she favored, and her expression both happy and fearful. She saw the girl standing in front of him, and that made her eyes very worried. Obviously, it looked that she would have preferred breaking this herself.
Passing the little girl by, Tarrin marched deliberately towards the house, claws flexing and murder twisting his features. He had passed angry some ten paces ago. He was absolutely, utterly, and thoroughly furious. But it wasn't the hot, blinding rage of the Cat, it was the cold, calculating anger of the Human, a Human that could not fathom what was going on, and was intent on getting answers. And getting them right now. Jesmind gripped the door nervously, waiting for him to reach her, and not looking too happy to see him. He came up the steps, marched right across the porch, then grabbed her by the arms and stared down at her with righteous indignation.
"Would you mind telling me what in the nine hells is going on around here?" he demanded hotly, gripping her so hard that his claws drew blood.
"I'd think that it's fairly obvious," she said weakly, trying to look bold, but Tarrin's newfound size and height seemed to have her off guard. She looked up at him with the questions dancing in her eyes, but he would have none of her distractions. "Tarrin, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Jasana."
"Daughter? Daughter? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you have Triana tell me!"
"I told Mother to keep it secret," she replied with a calm that pure bravado. "I didn't want you to get distracted from what you were doing. I didn't want to put you in danger."
"I wasn't doing anything when you left me!" His eyes widened. "You left me because you were pregnant!" he gasped in understanding. "You knew, and you wouldn't tell me!" He picked her up off the porch by her arms and pulled her up nose to nose with him. "Why? For the Goddess' sake, why?"
"Because of this!" she snapped at him, pushing him away enough to put her feet back on the porch. "I knew you'd overreact! That you wouldn't understand! I didn't know if you'd survive, or what would happen to you! I didn't want you to worry about me or our child, because I knew the Human in you wouldn't allow you to let me go if you knew!"
Her logic assaulted his anger. That much made sense. When she left him, he was still a Rogue, and his future was very much in question. And she was right again. If he'd have known she was with child back then, he would have put both paws on her and made her stay with him. That would have endangered the baby.
But logic had little to do with anger. He felt betrayed by her leaving him without telling him, no matter what her reasoning was. He was about to go off on her, but a small paw grabbed him by the end of his lashing tail and held firm. Tarrin turned and looked down, to see Jasana, her eyes teary, staring up at him with a heartbreaking expression. "You're not happy to see me?" she asked in a small voice.
Tarrin had experienced any number of raw emotions in his lifetime, but the emotions that flared up in him at seeing that little girl looking up at him with those heartbreaking eyes was simply too much for his anger to bear, and was some of the most intense and soul-piercing emotions he had ever felt in his life. His anger was shattered by those eyes, causing him to remember that this was his child, this was his daughter, and he had been inhumanly cruel not to acknowledge her, not to even say hello to her. She had greeted him with such exuberant love, and he had tossed her aside like so much garbage. Guilt over his actions rocked him to his foundations, and it was suddenly replaced by the instinctive needs that went along with being a parent. He felt the need to comfort the girl, to make her feel better, and the acknowledgement inside him that this was indeed his little girl caused the same powerful feelings of love to arise in him as existed for the rest of his family. This little girl was his family, his child, and he would not deny her.
He knelt down and put his paw on her shoulder gently, though it was too large to fit. "I'm very happy to see you, Jasana," he told her with exquisite tenderness. "I was just very surprised to see you, that's all. I'm afraid I don't take surprises very well."
"Papa!" the little girl said quickly, then threw her arms around his neck and hugged him with surprising strength. Tarrin stood up with the little girl in his arms, nuzzling her, taking in her scent and branding it forever in his memory, the knowledge that he had another child, a daughter, threatening to make his knees unlock again.
Too much. It had all been too much. This was the last thing he ever expected to see when he came home!
Jesmind looked at him with unwavering eyes, and then she smiled slightly. "Welcome home, Tarrin," she said to him, putting a paw on Jasana's back.
Tarrin knew manipulation when he saw it, though it took him a while to see it for what it was.
Tarrin's cute little daughter, that sweet-looking little girl, had manipulated him like he was a puppet.
But he had no defense against it. She had seen that he was very angry, so she got his attention and assaulted him in every manner in which she could, attacking him through guilt and instinct and love to batter down all the barriers to his anger he had erected. That sweet little girl was a cunning little sneak.
Tarrin wasn't quite sure how long he had sat at the table, with Jasana sitting happily in his lap, trying to make sense of everything that had happened. Jesmind had made him some dinner, but he didn't remember what it tasted like, or even what it was. Or even if he ate at all. The shock of this radical shift in his life had yet to run its course, and he was still stunned by the immensity of it.