Hopeful Monsters

Then Franz stood up and said 'I will fight you.'

Minna said 'Me?'

Franz said 'No, Albrecht.' Then to Albrecht — 'It's me you really want to fight, isn't it?'

Albrecht said 'Yes.'

Minna said 'But what about me?'

Franz said 'All right, Minna, I will fight you too.'

Minna said 'Will you really?'

Franz stood up and came round the table. The boy who had sung the last obscene verse was trying to stand up. Franz said to him 'Will you be my second?' The boy said 'Yes.' Franz said 'Make all the arrangements for tomorrow morning.' Then he bowed in front of Albrecht. Albrecht bowed. Then Franz held out a hand to Minna. Minna said 'But I was going to fight Albrecht.' Franz said 'Please will you fight me.' He put his arm round her shoulder. Then he turned to me and said 'Will you be our second?' I thought — Oh, Franz, you have done it! Then Franz and Minna and I went out into the night.

There was a full moon: we went a short way up the path that led into the hills. There was a gate into a field: the field was on the slope between the forest and the town. We went into it. The moon made the air silvery; the grass and the trees were black. I thought -

Perhaps we have gone into a world that has been turned the right way up, from what normally goes on upside down.

Minna took off her clothes and lay on the grass. Franz sat beside her with his arms round his knees. I sat slightly apart. We looked down on the town.

Franz said 'You see why I should like the human race to be wiped out.'

I said 'You think men have to fight?'

He said 'If they are to keep their honour.'

I said 'Do they have to keep their honour?'

He said 'They have little else.'

Minna had stood and was stretching her arms above her head; then with straight legs she put her hands on the ground: it was as if she was doing obeisance to the moon.

I said 'You're a physicist; perhaps you will be able to obliterate the world soon.'

He stretched out a hand towards the lights of the town. He said as if quoting — 'I am Lazarus come from the dead.'

I lay back. I thought — Well, why should not something new be happening on this strange planet?

Franz said 'In our home village, which is near Munich, during the street-fighting that happened just after the real war, the White faction took some of the Red faction prisoners. There was one prisoner, a ringleader I suppose, who had been wounded; he was in pain, he kept on yelling; he would bang his head against a wall, trying to die. So his captors got a carpenter to build a very small cage into which they packed him so that his head was down by his knees and he could no longer bang it; he could hardly scream. He made small noises like a bird. They put him in the courtyard of the police station and people came to look at him. Sometimes people pissed on him. When they did this, he was almost peaceful.'

Minna was bent over in the light of the moon. She was like some huge queen bee, an egg. There were some cows or bulls or bullocks in the field; they were coming towards her; they were black shapes, breathing.

I thought — I will try to imagine the man in the cage.

Franz said 'But this is not really the strangest part of the story. Afterwards, when the man was dead, some of the guards, when they were drunk, would play a game in which one would crawl into the cage and some of the others would stand on top of it and

no

piss on him. Perhaps they got some sort of peace like this. Perhaps they needed it.'

I thought — But like this, you do not get peace!

Franz shouted 'Minna!'

Minna was walking forwards, with her arms out, towards the herd of cows, or bullocks, or perhaps a bull. I thought — You mean we are all like that man in the cage? Then — It is true that the world is so awful that I would not want to have a child!

There was an enormous black animal that had come to sniff at Minna. She stood facing it, naked, with her arms by her side. I thought — Oh but there is still something that we can learn, if we are brave, we humans.

I said 'But there is a different sort of honour now. Don't we have to start again? I mean the whole human race perhaps start again — '

He said 'Can we?'

I said 'You can tell that story — '

Franz laughed and said 'Nellie!' Then he turned and shouted 'Minna!'

Minna had put out a hand as if to take hold of the horns of the cow or bullock or bull. She seemed to be talking to the animal, stroking its horns.

I said 'Don't we have to become participants in our stories?'

Minna had got hold of the horns of the cow or bullock or bull. The animal jerked its head back. Minna was pulled up and half onto its neck; she was kicking her legs as if to get up on its back; she was like someone scrabbling on a rock face. The animal tossed its head and whirled away; Minna clung on, half dragged, her feet touching the ground every now and then; she and the animal were like some sort of Catherine wheel. Franz got up and ran after her. I stayed where I was. I thought — Oh yes, to participate in our own stories, we would be like gods coming down.

Minna had fallen off the cow or bullock or bull. She was lying like a white hole cut out of the dark grass. Franz was kneeling at her head. He was like a satyr. He had taken his shirt off. With it he was dabbing at Minna's face.

I thought — They have had their duel. How could one explain this? They are the children of Achilles and Penthesilea?

There was a stampede of cows, bullocks or bulls, in the distance; black shapes rushing as if to the edge of a cliff.

I lay back. I must have slept for a time. When I woke, the moon was still full.

m

I had had a vision (how does one tell the difference between wakefulness and dreaming?) of Franz kneeling over Minna and Minna kneeling over Franz: they were as huge as the earth and sky: they were entwined; they were interchangeable; they made a circuit. Minna's breasts hung down; Franz's arms hung down; Minna was the earth, Franz a firmament. I thought — There are seeds falling on the ground by which we are all fed. My own head was like the sky on the ground. After a time, I slept again.

Duels fought by The Corps customarily took place at six o'clock in the morning at an inn about an hour's walk from the town. Serious duels were of course illegal, so they had to happen at this place and at this time. I could not remember exactly what arrangements had been made about the dueclass="underline" it seemed that we had to be at this place the next morning. I thought — But anyway, this or that will happen. Franz and Minna were coming walking towards me across the grass. They were holding hands. They were naked. The moon had gone, and there was a thin watery light. I thought — We will see, won't we, what happens.

Franz said 'You are all right?'

I said'Yes, I'm all right.'

I thought — The earth has been fed, and watered -

— There was that man in the cage: in the end he died.

There was a path along the edge of the forest towards the inn where the duel might be fought. We set off, Franz and Minna and I, in the half-light of dawn, in some sort of procesion. Minna led the way; Franz followed; I came behind. Minna was naked; Franz had put on his trousers; I wore my clothes. I thought — We are like people carrying something sacred in a litter: some god perhaps who is ill; who has had a look at the world, and so now perhaps he will help people to die. Minna carried the branch of a pine tree in her hand; it bounced and waved as she walked, like the wings of a bird. I carried Minna's clothes. I thought — But perhaps Franz will no longer want to die.

We passed close to a farmhouse where there were the sounds of cows being milked. I thought — If people see us they will not believe us: they will think we are some sort of gods come down.