"I know what. I saw it too."
"Which program?"
"Canada, Gentle Northern Giant."
"I bailed out when that one came on. This is crazy."
"No, it's propaganda. Looncraft is up to something."
"You think Chiun's wild British plot is our answer?"
"It makes no sense. I see no point to it, but I'm on my way back to Folcroft to dig further."
"Want me to lean on Looncraft?" Remo asked.
"Yes," Smith said, tight-lipped. "Don't forget the suit."
"How could I?" Remo said acidly. "I scratch myself every time I think of it."
Smith hung up the phone and pressed the accelerator. He went right to the edge of the speed limit, which for Harold W. Smith was tantamount to speeding.
Simultaneously, miles away in Manhattan, P. M. Looncraft picked up the telephone in his rapidly darkening office. It was after-hours, but Looncraft had been too busy to leave early. He pointed a remote control at a corner TV set and turned off Canada, Gentle Northern Giant. He had already seen it. In fact, he had supervised its filming, as he had other documentaries that would soon air nationwide over the Global News Network.
"Ah, quality programming," he muttered to himself as he punched out a number. "It's a breath of fresh air."
"Pugh here," a young man's voice said.
"Pugh, this is Looncraft. I have been watching tonight's lineup. Quite good."
"Thank you, Mr. Looncraft. I'm pleased you like it."
"Like it? I love it. This dreary land has been culturally starved far too long, don't you agree?"
"Absolutely," Pugh said nervously. "When are you going to come down to meet with the staff?"
"Not soon, Pugh. Things are hectic right now. I just wanted you to know that you have my full confidence as director of programming."
"Thank you, Mr. Looncraft," Pugh said quickly. "I'm very relieved. Some of us had expected you to install your own people."
"If something's not broken, I don't fix it. And I would never replace good Anglo-Saxon stock with some foreign-born person."
Pugh's nervous laughter returned. "As a matter of fact, I am of British extraction. But my family's been in America for over a hundred years."
"It's the blood, man. The blood always tells. Princeton?"
"Yale, actually. "
"Good school. It's not Princeton, but then, what is? Carry on, Pugh."
"I will."
"And, Pugh?"
"Yes?"
"If any of your staff complain about the format change, fire them instantly."
"I won't hesitate, Mr. Looncraft."
Smiling bloodlessly, P. M. Looncraft went to his deskside computer and logged onto the Mayflower Descendants bulletin board.
He pecked out rapid words: "SUCCESS. READY FOR NEXT PHASE."
The reply was almost instantaneous: "PROCEED."
Looncraft logged off and went to his desk Rolodex. He picked through the cards until he came to the home number of the chairman of the New York Stock Exchange.
"P. M. Looncraft here," he said crisply. "Paul, I have just received the most disturbing news. It seems there is a rumor about of a problem with tomorrow's auction of treasury bonds. A scarcity of buyers."
"My God," the chairman sputtered. "That's never happened before!"
"It may mean that the investors who fled the market are worried about the government's solvency. The deficit, the trade imbalance, and things of that sort."
"I'll look into it. But if no one shows, and the word gets out..."
"It would represent the ultimate failure of faith," Looncraft put in solemnly. "The market will crash. And we can't have that."
"Thank you for alerting me, P.M."
"Think nothing of it. Cheerio."
P. M. Looncraft hung up, rubbing his lantern jaw thoughtfully. The chairman would check with his usual sources, who in turn would go to theirs. Soon it would be all over the street. The media would seize upon it like a pit bull. No amount of denial would kill the story once that happened.
Then, like a house of cards, the American economy would begin to totter.
P. M. Looncraft left his office feeling quite chipper, unaware that he had forgotten to remove his powdered wig.
He missed the bear by only six minutes.
Chapter 20
Remo Williams stood in P. M. Looncraft's empty office, redolent of formaldehyde, trying to figure out how to scratch a sudden itch behind his left knee without bending over and popping the seams in his bear suit. He focused his breathing, and the nerves behind his knee went quiescent.
Then he got an itch under his right armpit. That itch, he simply scratched.
The office suite of Looncraft, Dymstar d was completely unoccupied. Remo clawed through Looncraft's Rolodex until he found the man's home phone number.
The butler answered. "I am sorry, but Mr. Looncraft is not in."
"Are you sure about that?" Remo asked.
"I beg your pardon?" the butler said unhappily. "Who is calling?"
"How's your back?" Remo asked coolly.
The butler's tone of voice lost its aplomb. "Oh! It's you. Mr. Looncraft is not in. Really, really not in. Please believe me, sir, when I say that I do not know when to expect him."
"I believe you," Remo said unhappily. He hung up.
Disgusted, Remo left the Looncraft Tower and joined Chiun, who sat quietly in the passenger seat of Remo's Buick. It was parked on a side street.
Remo got behind the wheel. He had to slouch to avoid crushing the ornamental bear's head mounted on his hairy head.
"Looncraft's gone. The whole place is deserted."
"Let us go, then, to his home."
"I got a better idea," Remo said, starting the car. "Let's see Faith."
"That is a better idea?" Chiun asked as Remo pulled away from the curb.
"I called his house. He's not home either."
The blue-blazered security guard at Faith's apartment-house lobby looked up at Remo and Chiun as they entered and assumed a smirking demeanor.
"Back again, I see," he chirped. "And who is this?" He pointed to Chiun. Remo had left his bear suit in the car. He dug into the small of his back with a thumb, pulling out a stiff hair.
"My chaperon," Remo told him.
"Well, I'm afraid you brought him out of the rest home for nothing," the guard said. "Miss Davenport left strict instructions not to be disturbed. She was caught up in that Nostrum massacre, you know."
"She'll see us," Remo said firmly.
"Sorry," the guard said.
Chiun lifted on tiptoe so he could see over the top of the high circular security desk.
"I demand you announce us, hireling, for I am Chiun, chief of Nostrum."
"No can do."
"Sure, you can," Remo said brightly as he vaulted the horseshoe-shaped desk.
The guard reached for a buzzer as Remo joined him. Remo hit the buzzer first. It sprang from its mounting like a jackin-the-box.
"Broke," Remo said. "Now, announce us."
"No, I will not," the guard said shortly.
"Then I'll do it," Remo said. He went to the fax machine, found Faith's name beside a speed-dial button, and pressed it.
"That won't do any good," the guard sneered. "You have to put something in the fax."
"I was coming to that," Remo said, taking the guard by the scruff of his blazer. Remo mashed the protesting guard's face into the fax window and held it there.
"Anytime you feel like pressing the appropriate button," Remo sang out, "feel free."
The guard stabbed the "Send" button.
Remo held him there until the phone rang. He scooped it up.
"This is Miss Davenport in Twenty-one-C. I just received this weird fax. Is anything wrong?"
"This is Remo. I guess the guard pressed the wrong button or something. I'm down in the lobby. Can I come up?"
"Up?" Faith said pleasurably. "You can come up, down, or anywhere you want."
"I'm on my way," Remo said, wondering if he had made a mistake.