But if his time belongs to all of us, then it is not right for him to go into the forest, but he must work alongside us all, giving his time equally, even if he does more work during the time.
Which is right? I do not know. In my own mind, I think that a man's time is his own, for does not J give us all time alone, not telling us what to do? And I like best the things I do in those times. But the others say that such time is only a gift from J, and that J gave it equally, which is true.
I do not know which is right. I only know that I must do something to stop the others from being angry at Linkeree and at me. And yet it does not seem right to me that Linkeree should be stopped from what he is doing. If he would only tell us what it is he does in the forest.
Tomorrow all must work to build a good large fence and roof for the sheep for the winter, for there are many more sheep this year than last, and the old fence and roof are too small for them all. This will stop the argument for a day.
This is another important thing: My son Ciel has spoken a word today. He said, Sara, which is his mother's name. Sara was so happy that she sang all day, and Ciel said the word again tonight. Sara is happy because it means that maybe our child will be as clever as J's children which he brings from the Star Tower . I do not hope for this, for our children are weak and small. But I am happy because J's promise is going to be fulfilled: my children will speak, and then will read someday.
From now on Ciel and Mun I write to you, my son and daughter. And now I make an end of writing for this time.
Linkeree is a good man.
I write this because Linkeree is a good man and will not cause trouble anymore. I told him of yesterday's trouble with Hux and Wien. Linkeree was quiet for a little time, and then he said to me, Kapock, I will not cause trouble in Heaven City . I will work many hours like all the others, and will not go into the forest again at all during this time until the moon of the thaw. Maybe they will forget during the winter when there is deep snow.
This way we will not have the trouble, for Linkeree will no more take the ax.
Linkeree is lost.
I did not finish my writing of yesterday because there was a trouble after all. Linkeree went away during the night, and I stopped writing when Batta, one of the women who only a few months ago learned speech, came to me to tell me that Linkeree was not in his bed in the house with other unmarried people.
We called for him, but he did not answer. Batta said, We must look for him.
But I would not, because there is now snow on the ground, and if anyone got lost in the night he would die of cold before the morning.
Then in the morning before we could leave to search for Linkeree, he came to us of his own will.
I am ready to work, he said.
Everyone said, Where were you all night, and why are you not frozen in the snow.
But Linkeree would not say. He only said, I am ready to work. What more can you want from me?
And this is true. For J never commanded us to tell all things, but only to do all work in common. Our thoughts belong to ourselves: this J has always said. We can make no man or woman tell us their thoughts.
But Hux and Wien were very angry. I do not understand why Hux and Wien are always angry at Linkeree, for he does not make them hungry, and he does not make them cold; he hurts them in no way, but they do not like for him to do things they do not know about. They say it is not fair, but I do not think fairness is the question. I think that Linkeree makes them afraid.
Why are they afraid of Linkeree? Why does he make them angry doing this thing? I do not understand. For I, like Linkeree, look for time to be alone. I have found out that the hours I spend writing this are some of my happiest hours, like the hours I spent at the loom, making cloth, for no one takes my thoughts away from me during those times, except Sara, and when she talks my thoughts are not taken away, for I can tell my thoughts to her, and so I keep them.
And now, tonight, Linkeree is gone again, and the snow is falling. I am afraid that some danger will come to him. But at least now I know what he has done in the forest. All alone he has built a house. This must be so because there is no other way that he could have come to us warm and dry in the morning.
Why does he want a house that no one else knows? Why did he want no help in building it? Even strong Wien wanted help to build his house. Linkeree is the best wall maker, but even he cannot make the great logs fly into place like birds.
Is he not afraid to sleep alone in the darkness, far from the other people? My own house is on this side of the river from all the others, but here I am not truly alone, for Sara and my children and the sheep are here. I would not like to be alone where no one else breathed loudly in the night.
And there is something else: What will J think when he learns that one of the Ice People has gone away from Heaven City to build a place apart? I worry that I should make Linkeree live among us all, even at night. And yet I do not want to stop Linkeree until I understand and am sure that it is bad.
I do not like being Warden. But I would rather be Warden than have Hux or Wien as Warden, for they do not think before they decide, and now I know that this is bad, for they would have caused terrible anger in Heaven City by making Linkeree not do what it was Linkeree's right to do.
I make an end of writing at this time. I am angry and afraid, and I do not know what to do. What will J think of me?
A bad thing has happened.
Today the snow was deep and Linkeree did not come back from his house deep in the forest until the sun was at noon. He was cold and wet, and he said that it was hard walking through the deep drifts, and that twice he had been buried in the snow.
Wien was glad to see Linkeree, and I believe because of this that Wien has a real caring for Linkeree. But Hux was angry again. I think that Hux would rather be angry at Linkeree than not. Hux said that Linkeree had missed a whole morning of work, and that because of his house in the forest he had stolen many hours from all of the people.
The woman Batta, even though she is young, said, I do not care about the hours. I care that Linkeree has come back to us and he is safe.
He would not be in danger except that he steals time from us and built himself a house in the forest, Hux said. And then he said something that many people agree with: We only get houses when we marry. Why does Linkeree now have a house when he is not married? If we all did this we would spend all our time making houses.
Linkeree answered this with his face red with anger, saying, I did not ask any of you to help me build my house, and so it is mine. It cost you nothing. You did not work for it, and I did not do less work here in Heaven City than any of you. It is my house.
I do not know if this is a good argument or not. It is one thing to say My arm or my leg, for it is clearly mine. It is even right to say, My shirt or my shoes, for these would not fit any other person. And when one has eaten one can say, My dinner, for no one else can ever eat that food. But to say My house when it is a thing that any person could fit into and use does not seem right.
Sara is reading this and she says that in these very writings I have called this house My house. That is true. But when I call it My house I do not mean that I would close the door against any other man or woman. And yet this is what Linkeree means.
For Hux said to Linkeree. Ryanno and I are going to be married. We need a house.
And Linkeree said, Good. I will help you build one.
No one said anything, but we all knew that Hux was really saying I want to live in the house you built. And Linkeree was really saying, I will not let you live in it.
Then I spoke, for I had made a decision: Linkeree, until the snow is over, it is better if you do not sleep in your house in the forest except on nights when the sky is clear and it will not snow, for it is not right that you should spend hours going through the forest when you should be here working like the rest of us.