Daisy ends up saying it anyway, just to appease her sister. “I’m on birth control.”
“So was I,” Rose snaps. “And I never missed a day.” She prides herself on this fact.
“Then what the fuck happened?” I ask, extending my arm in confusion.
“Birth control is only ninety-nine percent effective,” Connor says. “We’re, of course, in the one-percent.”
Rose smacks him on the arm for that comment, and he grabs her wrist and kisses her deeply. She melts. I stop fucking watching.
And then I meet eyes with my brother, with Lo. He has his arm wrapped around Lily, and even with the news, he looks more at peace now, in this moment, than he did three days ago.
“So you know French,” he says to me.
“Yeah, I know French.”
Connor holds Rose’s hand on the table, and he nods to me. “Where’d you learn?”
“Tutors as a kid, like you and Rose.”
“I taught myself, actually,” Connor says with a million-dollar grin.
Lo claps slowly. “Congratulations, love.”
Connor only smiles wider, and I share it as well, surprisingly.
Lily perks up. “I’ve learned some French too.” She clears her throat. I think we’re all laughing internally, not at her, just fucking with her. She’s goofy as hell. In a more American accent, she says, “Comment allez-vous?” How are you?
Connor replies with a genuine smile, “Je ne pourrais pas être plus heureux.” I couldn’t be happier.
Rose relaxes into Connor’s body. And Lily looks really fucking confused. He’s already lost her.
Daisy slides her misshapen pumpkin napkin over to me. I squeeze her hand beneath the table. And for a brief second, I think about after California, after my climb. Back in Philly. Her parents… it doesn’t seem like they should be a big roadblock. I’m twenty-five. But your family doesn’t just leave when you become an adult. They’re a part of you forever.
I add to the whole table, “Je serais génial, mais je sais ce qui me fait toujours obstacle.” I would be great, but I know what still stands in my way.
Lo claps again. “Color me impressed,” he tells me. He turns to Lily. “You’re almost fluent, love.”
She punches him in the chest, and he mock winces, acting like it hurt. They’re both smiling.
My eyes flicker up to Connor, who stares at me with understanding and more compassion.
He says, “Tout ira bien, mon ami.” Everything will be fine, my friend.
Connor has said that he doesn’t believe in magic, but his words hold a possession all on their own, filling me with serenity, a temporary calmness, that I am grateful to have before my climb.
Everything will be fine, my friend.
I nod a couple times.
Everything will be fine.
< 52 >
DAISY CALLOWAY
California.
We’ve made it. The national park is beautiful, and I’d revel in the atmosphere of Yosemite on any other day, but it’s hard when we’re in the brush, a giant rock looming one hundred feet in front of us. El Capitan is larger than Devils Tower. More ominous. But it does have a kinder name.
The sun isn’t even out yet. It’s 5 a.m. and Ryke plans to start climbing in the dark with a headlamp. He wants to climb three routes in under twenty-four hours. It’s going to take endurance, strength and a dose of luck. It’s that luck part that I’m worried about. Everything else—I know he’ll ace.
Ryke talks to a park ranger at the base of El Capitan, nodding a few times. He ties his bag of chalk around his waist.
I pluck yellow weedy flowers by my feet in the brush, twisting the stems to make a crown. Every time I look up at Ryke, my heart thuds. I’ve never been this anxious for someone else before.
Rose slaps her arm and curses out the mosquitos. She sits on a wooden bench behind me.
“I told you not to wear perfume, darling,” Connor says casually, sitting beside her.
Rose gives him a look. “I’m not going to sacrifice smelling good for stupid flies.” She swats another away.
“You smell good without it.”
She narrows her eyes. “It’s Chanel. If I don’t wear it, I feel like half of myself is missing.”
Lo sits on top of a picnic table beside the bench, Lily’s head on his lap as she sleeps. “That’s because you mask your bitch scent,” he says. “And your soul leaves when it realizes it’s inhabited the wrong host.”
“And I’m sure your brain cells fried coming up with that insult,” she refutes.
Before Lo can retort, other voices shout over him. “Daisy, are you and Ryke together?!”
“Daisy, just one question!”
“Are you scared about Ryke’s climb?!”
“Hey,” Lo snaps at the seven or eight reporters congregated about twenty feet behind us, camera crews in place, lenses pointed at us and Ryke. “Calm down. We have twenty-four hours and I personally don’t want to go deaf by the end of this.”
I stand in front of the wooden benches and picnic tables, so I turn my head to see Lily awakening from all the commotion.
“Did he fall?” she asks in alarm, her eyes snapping open.
“No, love. He’s okay.”
She exhales loudly. “Okay, good.”
A lump lodges in my throat. I’m not the only one concerned today.
The cameramen start flashing pictures at me, catching my face. When we left Nevada, word circulated about Ryke’s solo climb. Apparently he had to register with the state parks, and those documents leaked to the press.
I think Ryke would be more nervous about the media being so close to us today if it wasn’t for our team of security drawing a line between the cameras and our benches. So at least we can pretend to ignore them. Mikey is here, shaking his head at a couple of the guys who shout questions out to me.
It’s still early in the morning, so we expect a lot more people to show up, probably some fans too.
My father also sent a note with Mikey:
We need to talk about Ryke.
Love, Dad
Having my parents find out about the relationship from a tabloid was not ideal, but it was the risk we both chose to take.
And I only received one text from my mom, not even a phone call.
I’m interviewing the best plastic surgeons in the city. You’ll be okay. – Mom
I asked Connor to send out a tweet (he’s the only one with a Twitter account) to tell people what happened. The rumors from the leaked photograph were horrendous. They ranged from a knife fight to rape. And then both.
Connor’s tweet set everyone straight.
@ConnorCobalt: Daisy is fine. Her scar is from the Paris Rugby riot. Thanks for all the well wishes.
And of course he had to add a second tweet.
@ConnorCobalt: Apparently, I need to clarify for some of you. No. She was not raped afterwards.
He told me that the second tweet was for the media sites that love to stir stories out of nothing. I appreciated it, especially since it meant that I didn’t have to go on any talk shows or phone into a radio to explain the situation.
When the park ranger leaves, Ryke glances back at us, and he actually walks over. My heart rises to my throat, but his eyes meet mine for a brief second or two before they pin on everyone behind me. And then he just treks right on past.
Okay…
“You realize how stupid this is, right?” Lo asks him, forearms on his knees, hands clasped. He has his feet on the picnic table bench like Lily.