“Jeez, I know. And we still have to get them to bed. You’re helping in my cabin, right?”
I nodded.
I reached the fire and saw Calvin flagging, his face even sweatier than Whinnie’s.
“How are you? Calvin, is it?” I asked him.
He smiled and used his pudgy hand to wipe away the sweat.
“Man, am I BEAT,” he said, all American. I decided then that I loved him.
“Bedtime soon. But we have one last dance.”
He stuffed his hands deep into his shorts pockets. “No one will dance with me,” he mumbled towards the ground.
I was angry already – this didn’t help. Why were kids so cruel? Everyone always moaned on about “the innocence of children”, whereas, from what I remembered on the playground, children were mostly dickheads to each other. If you were fat, if you were tall, if you had red hair, if you had a weird mum who always dragged you in late, smelling a bit…well, there was no “innocence” in what I had shouted at me.
“That’s because I asked everyone if I could have the first dance with you.” I took Calvin’s hand and twirled him around the campfire, glaring at anyone staring at us. He lost his self-consciousness pretty quickly and soon he was spinning me round uncontrollably, giggling…
“Oww…Calvin…I’ll be sick.”
He laughed harder and we spun and spun and spun.
The campfire blurred past me, snatches of people whizzing by as I got dizzier and dizzier.
The fire…Whinnie galloping in a circle with some of Dumbledore’s Army…the darkness of the edge of the forest…the fire…Mum staring at me again, this time smiling…the forest…the fire…Melody approaching Kyle and starting her usual gyrating-dance against him…the forest…the fire…Kyle smiling…
“Whoa, I think it’s time to stop.” I let go of Calvin’s hands. My feet turned under me, my knees buckled.
“Thank you for the dance,” I said. “It was very…umm… spinny.”
Then Bumface Kevin blew hard on his whistle, signalling bedtime.
SITUATIONS THAT ARE DESTINED TO FAIL:
Childhood memories
+
A mother who can’t remember them
Twelve
As predicted, it took for ever to get Whinnie’s cabin to go to sleep.
“But I miss my mommy,” one whined, sitting up for the eighth time in ten minutes.
I took a deep breath. My temper was fraying, all my energy reserves had gone.
“It’s good to get used to missing your mommy,” I said. “When you’re older, you’ll have to spend lots of time away from your mother.”
Especially if she emigrates, and doesn’t take you with her.
“But I don’t WANT to do that,” the kid protested, sitting up further.
I firmly pushed her back into her pillow. “Yes, well, life is all about doing things you don’t want to do.”
I saw the moment on her face when she decided to cry, but Whinnie came barrelling over, just in time.
“Hey, do you want the special camp teddy tonight?” she whispered, so as not to wake the children who had managed to get to sleep. Whinnie was already in her baggy Winnie the Pooh pyjamas, whereas I was still in camp uniform.
I stank of bonfire. Ever since I’d gotten to this camp, I’d stank of bonfire.
The girl nodded and Whinnie pulled out a moth-eaten Winnie the Pooh bear. She handed it to the girl carefully.
“This is our very special cabin Pooh Bear. Now, he’s a bit homesick too, so will you look after him tonight and let him know everything is okay?”
“Yes.”
“Brilliant. Now, try and get some sleep.”
Whinnie and I tiptoed away and we heard the girl muttering to the teddy bear. “Now, Pooh Bear, there’s no need to be scared. I miss home too. But we’re at camp. And Whinnie is so nice, isn’t she? She’ll take care of us.” Her voice got sleepier until it faded to nothing. All I could hear were the snorts and snuffles of sleeping children.
Whinnie beckoned to me to leave the cabin, and I crept out after her. The air had cooled – it goosebumped my arms. It felt nice. Whinnie was already perched on the steps. I closed the door as slowly as I could so it didn’t squeak.
“Thanks for that,” I said. My voice seemed loud in the quiet of the forest. I joined her on the step.
“It’s okay.”
We both fell quiet and listened to the sounds of the forest – the buzzing of the insects I still didn’t know the name of, the giggles of a cabin next door that hadn’t succeeded in getting its inhabitants to bed. My eyes closed, my head hung.
“You okay, Amber?”
I jerked up. “Yep. Why? Why is everyone asking me that today?”
“Whoa, calm down. It’s just, it’s your first day of camp. It’s madness. Last year, I fell asleep on the first night before the children. They trashed the place while I slept, decorating it with toothpaste.”
I looked back at her. “Sorry. Just Kyle was on my case earlier.”
“You mean when you guys were talking at the campfire?”
I nodded. “It’s like he’s trying to win some award for the world’s nicest guy or something…”
Whinnie rolled her eyes. “I know, right? What a jerk.”
I laughed.
“He is just that bit too perfect, isn’t he?” Whinnie continued. “I wonder why he tries so hard…”
Most of the cabins around us were dark now. Melody’s was only next door. Hers had been dark for ages.
“I don’t like people asking me about my personal life,” I admitted.
“I’ve noticed. You do know it’s in our culture though, to ask such things.”
I smiled into the blackness. “I’m beginning to figure that out.”
More comfortable silence. Whinnie just had a calming way about her. I barely knew her, and yet I felt just…okay sitting with her next to me, kind of like how it felt with the girls back home.
“When you were dancing with Calvin,” Whinnie said, “I overheard Melody asking Kyle to sneak out and meet her tonight. She said they should ‘mark the official start of camp together’.”
I turned to look at her. “Seriously?”
Whinnie nodded.
“What did he say?”
“He said he didn’t think his children would sleep tonight.”
“What does that mean?”
“I dunno.”
I thought of Kyle’s arms guiding me through the dark as he steered me home my first night. I thought of his arms around Melody as they danced together.
Friendship. Sex.
One for me. One for Melody.
I let it sink in – feeling angry at how much I cared. Confused by it. It’s not like I knew either of them, not really.
“You should go to bed,” Whinnie said. “We have canoeing tomorrow.”
I groaned. “Don’t remind me. There’s no way my legs will fit into a bloody canoe.”
“And there’s no way my butt will fit into a canoe. It’s going to be like that Winnie the Pooh story where he eats too much honey and gets stuck in that hole.”
“Shall we go in the same one and just drown ourselves?” I asked.
“Sounds like a plan.”
I got up, brushing the dust off my bum. “I’ll let you get some sleep.”
“Cool. See you tomorrow…and Amber?”
I turned round on my heels in the dust. “Yep?”
“I’m glad we’ve been put in the same group.”
Her words broke my anger a bit. I smiled.
“Me too.”
The lights in Kevin’s cabin were still on and I made my way towards them reluctantly, wishing Mum and Kevin were asleep.
I peered through the window before I opened the door. They weren’t both asleep.
They looked like love personified, cuddled up on the dingy sofa – Mum’s feet in his hands as he massaged them.
I stepped in and slammed the door – they both jumped and Mum’s feet pulled away from Kevin. He stood up, all grinny grinnington, which made his bumchin stretch out wider.
“Hey, Amber. Did the kids go to bed okay?” he asked.