"So," thought Hiccup, "the Eater of Human Flesh is eaten himself. Isn't fate artistic?"
Sometimes it is harder to force yourself to stand still than it is to run away, but Hiccup knew that he wouldn't have a chance if he tried to escape. This animal was just too big. So Hiccup froze, in the hope that the Creature's eyesight was poor, like other beasts that lived solely underground.
Hiccup was probably right, but one of those
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constantly moving tentacles accidentally bumped into him, and as soon as it made contact with his warm body it automatically wrapped itself around Hiccup, and lifted him into the air.
"A Plan!" Fishlegs shouted out wildly from below. "You need a Fiendishly Clever Plan!"
"Thank you, Fishlegs," said Hiccup, his mind flicking about like a shrimp in a net, and trying to ignore the terrible squeezing around his chest. "I'm aware of that... TOOTHLESS! Come up here!"
The tentacles were turning Hiccup over and over. Toothless flapped up, and hovered as close as he could. Hiccup shouted something into the little dragon's ear.
"That's a t-t-t-terrible plan," moaned Toothless, shaking his head.
"Just do as you're told. for ONCE in your life," yelled Hiccup.
While the Creature remained unconscious of having caught anything, Hiccup still stood a chance of escape. With his sword, he jabbed away at the sticky tentacle that was encircling his trunk and it seemed to be loosening....
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Way down at the bottom of the treasure mound, Fishlegs was frantically trying to be helpful.
[Image: He lifted the sword high, high above his head.]
In front of him, there lay a heavily bejeweled monstrosity of a sword. Despite the fact that it was nearly as big as himself, Fishlegs managed to pick it up from the floor. Purple in the face with the extraordinary effort, he lifted it high, high above his head, ready to launch it at the Creature's stomach....
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Unfortunately the backwards momentum of the sword was so great that Fishlegs toppled very slowly backwards with it. There was a bronze shield on the floor behind him, and he landed on it with such force that he knocked himself out.
The noise of Fishlegs's head connecting with the shield caught the Creature's attention and light finally dawned in its dull eyes, which swam into focus on Hiccup. Its tentacles gripped strongly and escape became impossible.
"More food?" it mused to itself.
"NOT food!" Hiccup shouted out. "I'm POISONOUS. Very,very POISONOUS!"
"Poissonoussssss?" hissed the Creature. "It ssspeakss and iss poissonousss, is it? I'M poissssson-ousssssss. Sssssssee?"
And it waved the deadly plunger of its tail menacingly in front of Hiccup.
"Don't like it when the food sssspeaks...," whined the Creature to itself. "Isss trickssssy when it ssspeaks... kill it quickly before it trickssss me...."
It wrapped its tentacles a little tighter around Hiccup in order to suffocate him.
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"This is all very, interesting," Hiccup managed to choke out, his eyes popping. "So, how were you thinking of killing me, exactly?"
Gradually, the awful pressure on Hiccup's chest eased as the Strangulator considered this question.
"Well," it said slowly, "I wasssss thinking of ssssssqueezing you to death. ..."
"I onlyask," said Hiccup, gasping for air, "because I was recently nearly swallowed by a Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, who said, that you Undergrounders were very primitive animals, poorly armed, and only capable of basic forms of killing, such as strangulation."
The Creature stopped squeezing entirely.
"That'ssss very rude," it hissed eventually, rather hurt. "What isssss thissss giganti-Maxi-thingy anyway?"
"Release your tentacles a bit," said Hiccup, "and I'll tell you."
"Okay," said the Strangulator, "but no tricksssing or I'll get crossssss."
Slowly the Creature unwound its tentacles, leaving them only loosely wrapped about the boy. Hiccup took in great relieved gulps of air.
"A Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus," Hiccup
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continued, "is a gigantic, scary killing machine as big as a mountain...."
"I'm big ...," the Creature pointed out.
"It has at least three ways of killing," said Hiccup. "It can rip you to pieces with its talons, bite you to bits with its teeth or fry you to a frazzle with its fire."
"I can do that ...," said the Creature, less certainly.
"No, you can't," said Hiccup. "You haven't got any talons, teeth or fire."
"Ssssso I haven't," said the Strangulator, very disappointed. "But I can sssssssqueeze you to death ...." He brightened up and began to wrap his tentacles around Hiccup again.
"So OLD-FASHIONED!" shrieked Hiccup hurriedly. "What about tie POISON? That's tie most modern method of killing around. A Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus hasn't got any foison...."
"Hasssssssn't it?" asked the Creature delightedly.
"No, it hasn't," said Hiccup. "I'm very curious to see how one of these fancy new poisons works."
"It'sssss not a nicccccce way to go," warned the Creature.
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It pointed the sharp needle of its tail straight at Hiccup's heart.
Suddenly, Toothless flew into the Strangulator's field of vison. The Creature lost concentration for a second as the little dragon zoomed up and down right in front of its eyes. By the time it had coordinated its tentacles enough to frighten Toothless away, the Strangulator was very, very cross.
"I told you, no trickssssssing!" it hissed, with venom in its voice. "Thisssss will shut you up. ..."
Fishlegs came back into consciousness just in time to see the Strangulator inject the whole tail's-worth of green poison, enough to kill the entire population of Rome, into the flesh beneath Hiccup's shirt.
[Image: A pencil.]
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19. THE HEIR TO GRIMBEARD THE GHASTLY
"So," chatted Hiccup, "while we're waiting for this poison to take effect, why don't you tell me how it works?"
"Well," crowed the Strangulator, "you will lose control of your tentaclesss ass they sssstart to sssstiffen. ..."
"I can feel a sort of tingling in my feet, like pins and needles," admitted Hiccup.
The Strangulator's own tentacles were leaping about wildly, as stiff as boards.
"The poissson turnsss sssome victimsss green Before they die ...," hissed the Strangulator gleefully.
"Is it just me, " said Hiccup, "or is there a sort of greenish tinge to my left arm?"