She imitated the way he said “remember,” slow and particular and then garbling the consonant on the end. “You’ve got that accent and don’t appear to know what a sunburn is. How could I forget?”
He teased her about American Midwestern accents, cracking up until they realized people at the other tables were looking and they’d better pipe down. By the time they finished eating and had polished off the wine, the sky was a brilliant orange lighting up the palm trees. It made the mountains look like they were on fire over the sea.
“Dessert?” Blake asked when their plates were cleared.
Julia shook her head. “I’m stuffed.”
“Too stuffed for chocolate soufflé? I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with that sensation.”
“Oh, if there’s going to be chocolate involved…” Julia conceded that she might have a little extra room.
It was dark and drizzled in raspberry sauce, with a dollop of homemade brown sugar and rum whipped cream dusted with pistachio bits. Blake groaned in delight.
When they left the terrace, the beach was empty but the streets were starting to fill, the pulse of the Brazilian nightlife singing its siren song. Blake wondered what he’d be doing right now if he were in Buenos Aires. Would he have found a group to latch on to? Would he be in a bar, with tourists or locals or grizzled gauchos swapping stories before parting ways the next day?
Would he be thinking about Julia? And if so, would he be congratulating or kicking himself for letting go?
But there was no way to know. It was impossible to picture what he might be doing if he weren’t in Ipanema, like it was impossible to imagine what he’d be doing with his life if The Everlastings hadn’t broken through.
If he’d grown up with a father. If he hadn’t scrapped an old script that was giving him endless agony and started furiously sketching out new ideas fast as he could, the wisps of ideas turning real as bricks the faster the words poured forth.
If he hadn’t met the right people who saw the idea and helped bring it to life. If he hadn’t known the perfect aspiring actor and actress to play the leads.
And then, if he hadn’t come back early from a run and walked in on that actor and actress, his best friend and his girlfriend, in his trailer. If he hadn’t seen the man he’d come to think of as a brother going down on the woman he’d been sure would become his wife.
For all her Googling, Julia didn’t know that part of it. No one did. Not even the tabloids got that detail right. All anyone knew was Kelley and Josh, and then Kelley and Liam, the transition so seamless it was like something out of a screenplay, with no real people involved. No live animals were harmed in the making of this feature. But Blake didn’t have to bleed to feel pain.
Somehow Kelley’s newly hired publicist had known how to give it the right spin. Josh could be pitied and perhaps a little bit scorned, for what had he done to drive her away? But it was orchestrated in a way that created intrigue and boosted ratings instead of turning people off. Meanwhile Kelley got to be everyone’s darling, living the fantasy of true love with her dear friend and co-star, recounting in interviews the moment when everything “clicked” and she realized that when she looked deep into Liam’s eyes, she wasn’t acting when she proclaimed her love.
Yeah, Kelley, he’d wanted to ask her. When exactly did this all “click”?
But there was no way to know. Blake still wondered how much of her feelings for him had ever been real.
But maybe they had all three been acting, and he’d been pretending as much as she and Liam were. J.B. Williams. Just who did he think he was?
“Penny for your thoughts,” Julia said, and Blake was startled out of the downward spiral his mind was on. She slipped her hand in his as they walked down the winding side streets where the beach turned and the mountains began.
It wasn’t a question, though. Or a request to know more. Just a comment, a murmur, like the waves that kept on nudging the shore. Just a reminder that they were still there.
“I was thinking about Liam,” Blake admitted, steering them back toward the water. It was nice to stroll around like this, light with wine and heavy with food, admiring the way the breeze rustled through Julia’s loose hair and the hem of her skirt.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“It’s weird,” Blake said like he hadn’t heard her. “I would’ve assumed that I’d miss him, you know? But then I think about it, and it’s hard to even remember anymore why we were friends.”
Julia nodded, letting him talk. Now that the dam had been broken and the big secret out, it was easier, somehow. And easy to talk about with someone who didn’t know the parties, didn’t know the history, and didn’t particularly care. Someone he was, in all likelihood, never going to see again.
Maybe it was because they weren’t close that he could talk to her like this. Jamie had become a friend, but even they didn’t talk about details. It was better to pretend he didn’t know anything, so that Blake could be just a regular guy.
“I guess I miss the idea of him more than the actual person. I miss having these people who were always my people, you know?” He paused, considering. “But I don’t need them the way that I thought I did.”
When they got to the beach, she kicked off her sandals and he followed suit, holding them in one hand while they walked across the sand and down to the shoreline. The water came up to their ankles, still warm. When the waves retreated, the breeze on their toes was a sudden surprise in the dark.
“Maybe it was good to let go of them,” Julia said after a pause. “Maybe they aren’t what you need anymore. Not that it was good that they made that decision for you. But, you know. In the end.”
Blake thought about that. Everyone had tiptoed around the issue, knowing but not knowing what happened, unsure how to respond. Calling Kelley a bitch or Liam an ass wasn’t helpful, because who wanted to feel like the fool who’d sunk time and energy into such awful people? But trying to rationalize what they’d been thinking when they got together was even worse. Blake’s mother had pursed her lips and avoided the subject, only telling him when he came home after his whole world was shattered that she thought the camera lights had gone to Kelley’s head and he’d find someone better suited to him.
Which may have been true, but at the time it felt, again, like he was the one with the problem and she the shining star absolved by the brightness she cast.
If he hadn’t scrapped his failed project. If he hadn’t started The Everlastings. If he hadn’t thrown Kelley and Liam together in front of the camera. If he hadn’t walked in on them. If his whole life hadn’t changed.
Then he wouldn’t be walking down the beach in Rio on this night, full of chocolate soufflé, the mountains behind him and the ocean lapping at his feet.
And he wouldn’t have met Julia.
Chapter Fourteen
Down where Ipanema curved into Copacabana beach, Julia sat and brushed her skirt over her knees, burying her toes in the sand. To either side of her were Rio’s distinctive mountains stamped against the blue-black sky. Behind her the city was coming alive in the night, but Julia hardly seemed to notice. From somewhere down the beach they heard laughter, the swish of a car up the street, and then silence again.
They’d been walking along the beach since they finished dinner, and it was nice now to sit and let the night wash over them like a wave. It was hard to see any stars from the moon and the city lights, but far out over the ocean, where the black of the sea became the black of the sky, she could make out a twinkling where the earth curved and dropped away forever.