She smiled. “Yes, of course, Geoff.”
She looked at the viscount again. He was expressionless. But she rejoiced. She’d won! she thought with barely contained exhilaration. And it hadn’t even taken that long. At least, not once she’d seen him again. All those years of dreaming about a kindly, tolerant husband were over. She’d traveled across a sea and halfway around the world to find safe harbor. Now all that was left was to go to the party, listen to Geoff’s proposal-for surely he’d have a ring for her or some other family heirloom to seal the compact with by then-and her goal would be met.
She gazed at the earl with fond possession. He looked very well for a man of his years, she thought. He wasn’t the sort to make any woman’s heart beat faster, but she’d never wanted that. Still, he was fit. He wore tolerably fashionable clothes, which meant they were tight-fitting, and yet she couldn’t see a bulging stomach. Though her father had been a similar age when she’d last seen him, Geoff was much more muscular than her father had ever been, and he certainly had more hair.
Then she glanced at Leland and saw rueful knowledge in his eyes. She remembered that he’d said Geoff also acted like younger men, as far as women were concerned. Which meant that he’d want to bed her.
The thought made the blood rush to her face, not in mounting desire, but with embarrassment. Kindly, charming, Geoff wanting her that way? The sudden vision she had of him, naked in bed with her, was appalling, repellent, beyond embarrassing. She didn’t think of him that way.
In that moment, she could swear the viscount knew what she was thinking. He looked back at her with a deadly serious, sad expression, and nodded as though confirming her thoughts. She quickly turned her attention back to Geoff.
He, at least, was looking at her with warmth and approval, and obvious affection. He wasn’t leering, but only smiling, and she realized that now he’d every right to think of her that way. Could she change the way she thought of him? Could she stroke his naked body? Could she relax in his arms as he mounted her? Would he make the same sounds, groaning as Tanner had while he was at it, carrying on like a pig at the trough? The thought was terrifying. Because then how could she ever think of him the same way again?
And unlike Tanner, would he expect her to enjoy it, as Leland had said women should? The viscount had turned her thinking so much, she no longer knew where she stood. She wondered if Geoff’s kiss would shatter her defenses as Leland’s had. She suddenly felt ill at the thought of sharing a warm, openmouthed kiss with Geoff. She shot to her feet.
“Well, thanks, Geoff,” she said in a rush. “You’ve convinced me to go to the party. And thanks to you too, Viscount. So, should I wear the fantastic gold gown the modiste made for me, or is this less formal? What I mean is, what should I wear, do you think?”
“Whatever you wish. You’ll look lovely in a sack, or even without one,” Geoff said, laughing to show it was a jest.
He’d meant it as a joke and a compliment, she knew. But Leland didn’t laugh, and neither did she. She was suddenly very sorry that he’d said it.
Daisy felt weary and apprehensive.
She hadn’t been feeling well since the morning she’d met with Geoff and Leland. Now it was night, and she’d be seeing Geoff again, and maybe now he’d ask the question she’d come so many miles to hear. And for the first time in a long time, she didn’t know what to do.
Every step of her life since the day she’d landed in Botany Bay, dazed and hurting in body and spirit, Tanner at her side, had been spent in daydreams and night fancies and dreams of escape.
She’d finally put those plans into action, and now she found herself wanting to escape again.
What would she say when Geoff asked her to marry him? She had to ask for more time. In the long night awake she’d just had, she’d decided to do that. But once he asked, she’d have to at least kiss him; that was only fair. She’d decided in the early hours of the morning that she’d do it, just to see what it was like.
And if it was unbearable?
Then she’d leave London, and go back to where she’d been born and raised, buy herself a cottage, and live alone, with chickens and geese and a dog. No one would bother her there; she wouldn’t be ostracized by Society as she’d been in London, or threatened by greedy suitors as she’d been in Port Jackson. There were worse fates. One thing she knew. She’d never put herself into a prison again, whether it was made of laws or iron bars, or her conscience telling her to do her duty.
“I never thought blue would suit you, but that blue is vibrant, and you do look lovely,” Helena said, as she gazed at Daisy in her new gown.
“It’s the gold trim,” Daisy said absently. “You look lovely, too. Red becomes you.”
“It’s too fast a color for a companion,” Helena said. “I’ll just go change.”
“You won’t,” Daisy said. “I won’t allow it. I’m a terrible employer, aren’t I? Never mind. Wear it because you look good in it. Now, let’s go downstairs; Geoff and the viscount are probably waiting. But one thing, Helena: If I meet that wall of eyes again, if people start whispering about me, I’m leaving. At once. Understood?”
“If they stare, it will be in wonder, because you’re very attractive,” Helena said. “If they whisper, it will be because you’ve been seen with the earl and the viscount, and gossips will be alerted. Because one is known for his flirts, and the other is never seen with a woman. They’ll wonder which of them is the one you’re involved with.”
“Does going to a soirée with someone automatically mean you’re involved with them?”
“With that pair of gentlemen?” Helena said. “Yes.”
Well, so she was, or would be, or couldn’t be, Daisy thought. She raised her head and went out the door. It was time to find out which of those fates hers would be.
But Geoff wasn’t downstairs waiting for her. Only Leland, looking cool and self-possessed, and incredibly attractive in his severe black and white evening clothes.
“The earl had some last-minute business to take care of,” Leland said. “He said he’d meet us there. So, ladies, I’m a very lucky man because I’m your sole escort tonight. Unless, of course, the idea appalls. Then I’ll simply go hang myself in some convenient dark corner.”
Helena laughed.
Daisy frowned. Did that mean Geoff had second thoughts? Maybe it meant he had to go somewhere to get that family heirloom so he could give it to her when she said yes. She frowned, wondering if that was what she would answer.
“Mrs. Tanner is obviously of two minds about it,” she heard Leland say.
“No,” she said, raising her head. “Thank you, we’re grateful to you.”
He bowed. “Thank you for that,” he said. “Now, ladies, let’s go dazzle them.”
Daisy hesitated only at the last minute. They stood in the doorway, looking into a crowded ballroom, waiting for the butler to announce them. She held her breath.
“Don’t worry,” Leland said at her ear. “If they seem stiff when they look at you, it’s only because they’re afraid-of me. I can rake up old coals they’d rather not be roasted with. And so I told them. Courage.”
Daisy nodded. When she heard her name announced, she stepped forward. She couldn’t go more than two steps. Because she was swarmed.
“That’s the only word I can use!” she told Leland an hour later, when he took her into the courtyard out back of the town house so she could breathe. “Swarmed. ‘Oh, Mrs. Tanner, do you remember me?’ ” she quoted, laughing. “And, ‘Dear Mrs. Tanner, how good to see you again!’ when I don’t remember ever seeing them in the first place. What did you threaten them with? What crime could they have committed that was so bad that they’d grovel-yes, grovel to get my attention? You’d have to beat me with chains to get me to do that, and I don’t think I would even then!”