She tells me. All of it, in short, broken sentences. Each word another knife through my own skin. “It hurts, Hudson. It hurts so much. Even though you’re here. Now. And we’re together. There’s a hole. A deep, deep hole.”
I can’t say what I want to say, the magic phrase that will take it all away. So I tell her what I can. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. If I could take it back, if I could change how I reacted…I would have chosen differently.”
“I know. I do. But you didn’t choose differently. And you can’t take that back.” She straightens in my arms. “You can never take that back.”
“No. I can’t.” For all the things I’ve accomplished in my life, they will never outweigh the burden of this one failure.
“And that changes things. It changes me.”
I’m afraid to ask, but I do. “How?”
“It makes me vulnerable. Exposed. And you know now. That you can hurt me. You can hurt me real bad.”
“Alayna.” I pull her back to me. “My precious girl. I never want to hurt you again. Will you ever be able to…forgive me?” My voice is thick and unrecognizable, and I realize that I’m also on the verge of a breakdown. If this has the power to hurt her so much, what would my other secret do?
If I’d ever wondered if our love could survive my deceit, I know the answer now. It will not. She will not.
Maybe Celia had the experiment pegged right all along. Alayna could be broken.
I rock her in my arms, kissing her, apologies on my tongue. Eventually, I carry her to the bed where she finishes her tears wrapped in my arms.
While she cries, I think how there was a brief space of time there where the whirring had stopped, where my mind was quiet and my skin didn’t itch with regrets. I’d cut Celia from my life, and though I expected that she wasn’t finished with me quite yet, I’d begun the work to ensure that she was. In Japan, I’d met with GlamPlay and convinced them to purchase shares in Werner Media. I’d even got back Plexis.
Then I’d returned home to fight for Alayna.
And I’d won.
We’d won, I thought. Our demons hadn’t come between us. We were still together. Still in love.
Then in the course of an hour, I’d realized that not only would my lie always be on the verge of discovery, but how important it was to keep that secret buried. While I’d always expected, now I knew. The truth would destroy us.
When she’s calm, we talk, we start to mend. We move on.
We’ll be fine, I know that. I’m not worried that we can’t recover from the mistakes we’ve made. The ones in the open, anyway. And I vow yet again to never let her know the truth of how she came into my world. It’s this battle that may kill me, but better me than her.
After the words are said and our hurts confessed, I make my promises again to her, silently, with my lips. I kiss her, I cherish her. From her head to her toes, I leave no space untouched. My mouth adores each square inch of her skin, each freckle, each finger, each toe.
I lavish her in love that I can’t speak. I claim her body, her life, as mine.
I tap the side of my cheek with my pen in rapid tempo, deep in thought. Has it really only been five days since I returned from Japan? It seems like a lifetime has happened in this week.
“If you purchase GlamPlay under any of your American subsidiaries though, the press is going to get a hold of that information, and it won’t be covert like you want. Hudson, are you even listening?”
I halt my pen mid-tap and throw my gaze to Norma Anders. She’s frustrated with me. With this project. I’m frustrated too. But whatever it takes, we have to make this purchase happen. “I heard you. So we need to find a more indirect way to buy GlamPlay.”
I work my jaw as I try to come up with a solution to our problem, but my brain isn’t working. Running a hand across my face, I let out an exasperated sigh. “Fuck. I don’t know. Do you have a suggestion?”
“I’m not sure.” She shakes her head as she thinks. “Actually…what if we use Walden Inc. to purchase GlamPlay? Pierce Industries still holds controlling interest there, right?”
When my father took over Walden Inc. for my mother’s family, he left a small portion of the company outside the Pierce Corporation. As a safety net, he’d said. Over the years, Pierce Industries had ended up being the lifeline for Walden Inc., purchasing shares and investing when the small financial company needed it. Now it holds its own, though Pierce Industries does own the majority of the stock. Norma’s idea is a good one. As long as Walden has enough liquid funds to pay the price—and I’m certain they do—it would be a way to move under the radar.
Walden Inc., though, is the one company that my father still actively runs. Any such purchase will have to go through him.
I’d prefer not to involve Jack. But if I have to… “It’s our only shot, isn’t it?”
“The only one I can think of. Will you have trouble convincing your father?”
Considering how Jack feels about Celia, I’m sure that won’t be a problem. “No. He’ll do it.” I push the intercom to my secretary. My meeting with Norma was early, but it’s gone long enough that Patricia should be in by now.
“Yes, Mr. Pierce?”
“I need my father on the line in about fifteen minutes, please.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Okay then,” I say to Norma. “Anything else?”
Norma scratches a note on her legal pad then looks up. “Not that I can think of. If all this goes well, we will need to be in L.A. next week for the final signatures. And no, I can’t do this for you. You’ll have to be present.”
“Great. Thank you.”
She stuffs her pad in her briefcase and sits forward as if she’s about to stand. But she pauses. “Hudson, are you all right?”
I don’t have to guess why she’s asking. I’ve been grumpy and distracted for the past few days. The sources of my stress can be broken down into two things—or people, to be precise: Celia and Stacy.
The former has begun stalking Alayna. I’m sure it’s simply a scare tactic—that Celia won’t do anything to physically harm my girlfriend—but I won’t take any chances. This deal with GlamPlay should end any interaction with Celia at all. Now if we can just survive until the deals are signed.
Stacy, on the other hand, is still an unknown quantity. The video she’s sent me…
“Hudson,” Norma prods. I’ve left her waiting too long for my answer.
“I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind.” Understatement of the year.
I stand, hoping that will prompt her to as well. I have other business to take care of, starting with a heart-to-heart with my father. “Thank you for meeting with me early. I appreciate all your work on this project.”
She stands and nods at me. “Of course.”
“I don’t need to remind you that this all must remain confidential?” Keeping this purchase secret is vital. I haven’t even told Alayna about these plans. I wouldn’t want to get her hopes up, in case something falls through.
“Completely.” Norma says. “Oh, by the way, I wanted to thank you for hiring Gwen.”
Alayna had officially hired Norma’s little sister at The Sky Launch only the night before. “I can’t take any credit. Thank Alayna.” I suddenly remember something Alayna had said about her new manager. “Norma, may I ask why Gwenyth was so eager to leave the Eighty-Eighth Floor? I thought she was happy there.”
Norma sighs. “She was. Long story. Let’s just say there was a man.”