I didn’t think, didn’t hesitate, just moved. Crawling across the floor because it seemed like the safest and less obvious route, I was going as fast as my feet could take me toward the door until I could reach up and finally grab the knob. The door opened, I slipped through, and was immediately in the bright hallway. Turning, I closed the door behind me for fear the cats would follow. They could easily break through a measly wooden door but it didn’t matter, I couldn’t think about that now.
Holding onto the wall I got to my feet and took a step, only to be reminded about the ankle pain.
“Dammit!” I screamed, because I so did not have time for this crap.
I hobbled, or did some combination of limping and running until I was in the bigger part of the hallway, smacking my hand urgently against the elevator buttons, begging, pleading for it to hurry up and come so I could get the hell out of here. When it did I darted inside, falling against the railed wall and quickly pressing the down button. Once the door closed I breathed a little easier, only to let out a choked cry.
Where was Caleb?
And what the hell was that in his apartment?
I didn’t know, and right now I could barely see past the tears clouding my eyes. When the elevator doors opened I took a deep breath and eased out. Crying wasn’t the answer. It wasn’t going to change anything. I had to think.
In seconds I was outside of Caleb’s apartment building, standing in the cool night breeze, one foot flat on the ground the other with only my toes touching the cement. I was leaning to the side, looking up and down the quiet street wondering what my next step would be. There were no cabs in sight and I didn’t have my phone to call … who would I call? Hanna, I thought quickly, I could call Hanna and she would come and get me.
If I had a freakin’ phone to call her with, my mind screamed. My hands were in my hair again as I tried to calm down, tried to think above the thumping of my heart. I was looking but all I could see were parked cars, none driving by, no taxis, and no damned phone booth.
At the end of the street to the left there was a lamppost, its bright light burning my eyes. At the other end were more parked cars, including one raggedy old navy-blue one that looked a lot like … mine! With frantic hope I hobbled down to that car and almost wept with joy to see it was mine. Caleb must have doubled back to the bar to pick it up when he came out to get my stuff. Oh bless him, bless his kind and compassionate heart, wherever he was.
A tear fell onto my cheek and I hurriedly brushed it away as I moved toward the car again. Then I stopped. “Fuck!” I yelled as loud as I could. My purse was still upstairs in Caleb’s apartment. I dropped my head, my chin pressing into my chest as choked sobs wracked through me. I wanted to be optimistic, wanted to act and not react. I wanted to get the hell out of here before those cats came for me, or what if there were more? I just wanted to go, I needed to leave and I couldn’t! I was trapped, goddammit I was trapped here!
My hands shook as memories of hiding in the closet in the dark and feeling confined assaulted me. Mom’s husband had come into my bedroom, it had been his first time in there, the first time he’d planned to … He’d stood over my bed looking down at me, waiting until I opened my eyes. At first I wasn’t going to because I’d heard him come in, I’d seen through the slits of my eyes as his big shadowed body had approached. I’d closed my eyes tight then and figured if I faked sleep he’d leave me alone. But then he stood there and stood there and I knew he wasn’t just going to go away, not until he finished what he’d come for, or I made him go. Those were the only two options. So I opened my eyes and he’d smiled. I wanted to puke.
He reached for me then, running his finger along the rim of my nightgown. I sucked in a breath just as his tongue had snaked out to run along his bottom lip. Act or react, I’d thought, now or never and never was going to be too damned late. So I acted. I balled my fist as tight as I could and I reached out, punching him right in the dick. He yowled and doubled over in pain and I ran, out of my room and down the stairs, down into the living room closet by the front door. I pushed past the old newspapers Mama liked to keep and huddled in the farthest corner hoping he wouldn’t come looking for me, praying he wouldn’t find me.
For hours I’d been trapped and fear had scraped along my skin like nails. I’d cried and cried and nothing had happened, the act alone hadn’t sent someone to rescue me, so I vowed not to cry again. Eventually I got up and came out of the closet. The pervert had left for work by then and I went about the day as if nothing had happened. But something had and it had changed my life.
With a sharp inhale and resolution spreading through me like wildfire, I reached both hands up and pushed my hair back, looking around once more as I did. On a slow exhale of breath my arms fell to my sides, my right arm banging against something … something … I looked down at my legs, saw blood seeping through my jeans and then I saw a bulge, right at the top of my hip. With tentative movements I slid my hand into my pocket and almost screamed with relief.
When I’d left the bar earlier tonight with Dex I had my car keys in hand because I’d been intending to get in my car after our discussion and go home. When Dex had pulled me around the back of the bar instead, I’d stuffed my keys in my pocket so my hands would be free in case I’d had to fight back, which I did.
I was thanking every entity and higher being known as I pulled out the keys and moved around the car. Once inside another tear fell and I nudged it away with the back of my left hand while my right shoved the key into the ignition.
“Please start, you piece of crap. Please just start, goddammit, start!” I yelled as the engine sputtered and spit and then finally decided it would come to life one more time. I sighed and pulled off, not once looking back, not having the guts to.
CHAPTER 13
Caleb
Dex was dead.
I’d wanted to kill him, felt absolute power and retribution when the teeth of my cat had finally clamped down on his brain, crushing everything that he was and everything that he was meant to do.
I didn’t regret one second of what I’d done or the life I’d ended. That made me a murderer.
And Zoe had seen that. She’d seen the part of me I’d never wanted anyone to know about. Hell, it was the demon inside I’d vowed never to let out because I’d known what the repercussions would be.
All those years I’d been with the Sanchezes and we’d traveled the world talking to other Shadow Shifter tribes, learning their ways and making strides to keep a worldwide peace, I’d done so out of necessity. I never believed in any of the bullshit, never wanted to live in their world, or the human one for that matter. How many times had I wondered why the humans hadn’t killed me that day I’d gone into their village looking for the one that had killed my mother? I’d wanted to die then, wanted desperately to stop breathing, stop living, stop seeing the trees and the flowers she’d loved so much. The scent of the rainforest clogged my lungs and the sound of her voice in my head threatened to drive me insane.
I’d wanted to die.
But I hadn’t.
Tonight, I’d wanted to kill.
And I did.
Now I sat on my couch, jeans pulled over my legs but not buttoned, feet and everything else bare. My elbows rested on my knees, hands hanging down just like my head as the events of the night replayed in my mind.