Honor deflated like a popped balloon. “I’ve been doing nothing but think for a week now,” she admitted, “and so far it hasn’t gotten me anywhere but right back to where I started. I don’t know if I can figure this thing out, Uncle Ham. I’m not even sure I’ve got the energy to keep trying. Tomorrow night, half my pack is going to try to kill me, and the other half is going to be urging them on, and I don’t have a damned single idea about how I’m going to stop them.”
Hamish stepped forward and wrapped Honor in a hug, the kind of big, encompassing, comforting squeeze she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. “That’s why you need to get away, Honor. I have faith in you, little girl, and I have faith that you’re going to figure out a way to beat this, but even if you come up with a plan worthy of Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and the Duke of Wellington all rolled into one, it’s not going to do you any good if you drop from exhaustion before you can put it into action. You need rest, you need quiet, and you need the pack to stay the hell away from you for twenty-four hours. You hear me?”
Honor snorted against his chest, but hugged him back briefly and fiercely. “I hear you, old man, and I appreciate the advice. Now are you going to be the one to tell the pack that I ran away from home when they come up here or to the office looking for me?”
“It would serve them right if that was exactly what I told them. Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I’ll make sure Max and Joey know. Between the three of us, I’m sure we can put out enough DO NOT DISTURB signs to give you a nice little vacation. Now get out of here.”
Leaving her empty coffee cup in the sink, Honor took a deep breath and gave her uncle a small smile, the first one in days that felt like she meant it. Hell, maybe even in months.
“Thanks, Uncle Hamish. I really do appreciate this.”
Before he could finish telling her to shut up and scoot, Honor was out the back door and halfway into the woods. She knew exactly where she’d go for her little meditation, too. At the far southwestern edge of the pack’s territory, one arm of their miniature lake jutted out into the neighbor’s property, but behind that was an isolated little strip of land with an old shack that her father had never bothered to tear down. He didn’t think anyone would want a cabin out that far, and he’d likely been right, but for Honor it was a little piece of heaven. She’d worked in secret for an entire summer when she was sixteen making sure the roof didn’t leak, the walls were sound, the chimney drew, and the little hideaway held a stock of blankets and first-aid supplies. Every few months, she also replenished it with firewood and bottled water. None of the pack ever went near it, something she could verify by scent, and it was the only place in the clan’s territory where Honor ever felt like she could be herself. Maybe there, her head would clear enough for her to think.
Her stomach rumbled, reminding Honor that she’d missed breakfast, and she’d just walked away from a giant refrigerator filled with lunch possibilities. She never left food at the cabin, since attracting wildlife wouldn’t help keep the place clean and sound, so there was nothing there for her to eat, but she didn’t care. As soon as she got there, she planned to strip off her clothes and go for a nice long run. There would be plenty of game near the shack to satisfy her hunger, but what would really be satisfied was her soul. It might be nice to remember what that felt like.
Thirteen
Logan found himself storming up to his bedroom on Friday evening in a piss-poor mood. Again. It seemed like he’d suffered from piss-poor moods just about every hour that he’d spent among the White Paw Clan, so it didn’t surprise him that he had another one currently digging a pickaxe into the headache brewing behind his eyes.
It didn’t help his mood that he’d seen neither hide nor hair of his erstwhile mate since their altercation yesterday afternoon. Last night, of course, he’d spent half the night roaming around the forest taking his aggression out on bunny rabbits, but Honor had been gone from the house before he woke up in the morning, and he hadn’t run into her even once during the day. His hours furthering his education about the state of the pack had provided him with neither any reassurance as to their state of general organizational health, nor a single mate sighting. He’d wondered if she was deliberately avoiding him, but when he’d asked casually about her, none of the other pack members seemed to have spotted her, either. He heard all about her early-morning foray into fence-building, but she hadn’t turned up all afternoon. He’d even gone back to her office, only to find the small cabin dark and empty. No fresh tracks led up to the door, either. It was as if his mate had vanished.
He could have tried to follow her scent trail, he supposed, but he didn’t know how much good that was likely to do him. Honor’s scent spread across most of the territory her pack held. As acting alpha, she had reason to go almost everywhere, so even the freshest bits of her scent could lead him in circles for hours. He had better things to do than chase his tail at the moment. Like ditching yet another phone call from his own persistent alpha.
Graham had called five times that day already, and it was only just after five P.M. Apparently becoming a mate and a father hadn’t taught the other male very much about patience, or about other Lupines not jumping every time he walked into a room or pushed the buttons on a phone. Logan, however, had nothing to say to him at the moment, so he let the call go once more to voice mail.
What was he supposed to tell Graham, anyway?
Oh, yeah, buddy, everything’s great. I’ve pretty much decided that while Honor has the intelligence, the drive, and the character to be alpha, she would never be able to whip this pack into shape the way it needs. Not after her father left it in such a shitstorm-shape of a mess.
Who should take her place? Well, none of these numbnuts, that’s for sure. There’s one kid who’ll probably make a decent beta in a few more years, you know, after he graduates from college and gets his damned hormones under control, but there aren’t any alphas around here, that’s for sure. As far as that goes, Honor stands head and shoulders above the lot of them.
What should you do? At this point, I’m not sure just setting fire to this whole territory wouldn’t be the smartest move you could make. The problems facing this pack will take years to sort out, and that’s provided you can find an alpha strong enough to take over, and charismatic enough to do it without making the entire pack hate his guts.
Oh, and by the way, I’ve discovered that Honor is my mate, so no one is allowed to kill her, okay? Okay.
Right. That would go over well, he was sure.
Logan needed a plan, not just one that would give him something to tell Graham, but one that would provide some sort of acceptable resolution to the matter of providing a permanent alpha for the White Paw Clan. Not to mention that it had to take care of all that and still manage to keep his mate alive and by his side. So, you know, no pressure.
He had been driving himself crazy trying to figure all of this out. Every time he thought he might be on to something, some complication would smack him in the face and force him to start over again. Like, he could just remove Honor from the situation. She was his mate now, so it would be perfectly in keeping with tradition if she left with him and moved to New York to join the Silverbacks—except that Logan knew he’d have to drag her away from her ancestral pack kicking and screaming, and he’d likely wake up missing his testicles the first time he let down his guard around her afterward. But maybe having a mate would take care of all that restlessness and discontent he’d been feeling before he left Manhattan. Maybe once Honor was with him, he could go back to being a beta and liking it. Provided she let him live.