I had scarcely thought of home in all that while. But now, as the homeworld filled the warship’s screens, I felt the same surge of joy as every other returning Gratarik. But in my mind, the joy was mixed with thoughts of what must come.
Had Erekal changed? Was he still friend to me? Was he still sworn as I was to change the way of things? We were both adults now. It could not be long until the day when we must fight or dare defy our people’s ways.
First, though, came the requisite ceremony of return. I went before my father—he whom I so seldom saw. Picture one my height but more burly. Gray streaks his warrior knot of hair, but there is nothing of weakness or age in the cold yellow fire of his eyes.
That fire did not warm for me. Even as he honored me for deeds done in war, I could all but read on that grim face a calculating, Which of my sons should be the one to live?
No, you misunderstand. I agree, it was not what one of your species would call a “charming welcome home.” But it was no more, no less than could be expected from a Gratarik ruler with two living heirs.
Upon the spot, my father set the date for the Day of Destiny, when he would learn the answer to his question.
That simply made me all the more determined that Erekal would not slay me, nor I him. I will not deny feeling a thrill of relief when I finally heard from Erekal. He managed to send me a wary message: / have not forgotten.
My message to him contained only one word in return: Friend.
We would do this, then. We would refuse to fight. We would rule our people together, and show how strong two wills united could be.
The Day of Destiny came. We do not fuss or add undue fanfares to such serious events. I was left to make my own way to the Courtyard of Ritual. I bore no weapons, of course. You have seen that we do not enter death-duels with other than our own strong arms and jaws. There is no honor, after all, in injuring bystanders. And of course there were bystanders, a ring of them, watching as they must watch to see all was done properly. They stood with fierce eyes and impassive faces: They would not interfere.
Yes, my blood was surging by now, but not from fear. Today, I repeated to myself, we would bring Custom down, yes, and tear out its throat.
Akkkh, there on the far side of the Courtyard was Erekal.
In that one cruel moment, hope died within me, and cold despair took its place. Erekal approached in a hunter’s stalk. Erekal’s eyes were hot, blank fire, insane—
No. Drugged.
By whom, scarcely mattered. Some courtier, perhaps, some slighted rival, even our father himself. Obviously, someone had known. Someone had betrayed our friendship and us.
Oh, my brother!
Erekal clearly was not able to know me as other than enemy. He roared out a Death Challenge on me. The words would mean nothing to you. The intent… yes, that you do understand.
I could do nothing else but fight. You have seen Gratarikai in combat; you know how swiftly we move. We fought, Erekel and I. We fought. He bruised me, clawed me, once even nearly closed his jaws on my throat. I… did what I could to stay alive. I battled instinct, battled custom, battled myself more than poor, drugged Erekal. And I—my mind wasn’t clouded by drugs. I won.
Standing over my brother’s dazed body, I roared out my defiance: “I will not kill!”
For that… dishonorable crime, for that refusal of my rightful duty, my father did as he must. He declared blood feud against me and gave me only time enough to find a ship off-planet.
Akkkh, now you are truly shocked. What else was there for him to do? He now had lost both heirs.
Yes. Both heirs. I had not saved Erekel’s life. He had lost the fight, remember. My brother was slain as being “unfit to rule.” I learned of that much later.
So I wander the star roads in exile. Honorless? To my people, perhaps. To my father. Not to me. I have lost my brother, I have lost my world. But / did not kill Erekal It cost me much—but I kept my vow. / did not kill my brother.
In a strange and lonely way, I have won.
AND I WILL SING A LULLABY
by Paul Crilley
MUMMY TOOK ME to see her friends once. She’s not my real mummy, but I call her that in my head because I don’t have a mouth, which daddy says is good because if I talked the way I looked it would be a horrible noise.
Mummy put the chain around my neck, which is For My Own Good so I don’t get lost. Lucky for me! Sarah also came with. She is my sister (but not really) and she is six years old. I’ve known her since she was one when all the people came here in their flying ships and built farms and little towns.
I don’t like mummy’s friends. They sit around a table with a very white sheet on it and drink drinks that make them act strange. Daddy calls them horrible hags, which I think is funny.
I even got a dress to wear! It is strange and heavy, but mummy made it specially because it is not right that decent people should have to look at my elephant skin and giraffe neck. I’m not sure what that means, but I don’t want to be mean to decent people so I try not to scratch too much when it hurts my skin.
You’re probably wondering how come I can speak so well? It is because when Sarah sits down in front of the see-through man for Lessons I watch also. I learned words and numbers and other things.
Two plus three equals five. That is math.
When we were at the ladies, they all laughed at me and said how adorable you dress yours up! Mummy gave me a drink which I couldn’t drink (because as I have previously shown I have no mouth) and one said it was like watching a monkey playing human.
A monkey is an animal from Earth and it is quite clever, so that was quite nice of her. (I learned this.) Another said mummy should be careful or I’ll get a big head, which I think isn’t bad as my head is only a quarter the size of theirs and could do with some growing!
Sarah didn’t enjoy herself. She said she was bored and would use the knife that is supposed to be for lunch to make holes in the white cloth. This is naughty. I watched her but not a lot as mummy says I’m not allowed to and especially -I’m not allowed to look at her eyes. I’m not sure the reason for this. Another thing I’m not allowed to do On Absolutely No Account! is touch anyone at all, especially not Sarah. Mummy says I have dirty skin, so I don’t as I wouldn’t want anyone to get dirty.
I got tired standing in the sun, so I closed my eyes and visited my brood. They live far away and I try and teach them things I have learned, but they are still young and confined to their sacks. Maybe when they come out, they will show an interest and call me mummy, but in the meantime I carry on feeding and shaping them with my thoughts. This is how they grow. I decide to make their heads bigger than mine so they will look more proper. I look forward to teaching them all the wonderful things I have learned from the see-through man and my family.
For daddy’s birthday Sarah made him a card which said “Happy Birthday Daddy” on it in orange pen. I made one as well and drew a picture on it so I wasn’t copying Sarah. When daddy got it, he stared at it a long time then went and showed mummy. I heard mummy saying it was wrong and they should tell someone and daddy said he thought it was sweet and anyway look at the picture it was a perfect likeness. After that daddy asked me to draw lots of things which he took away. He said I was Very Good, which made me happy.
One day I was sitting in the garden. I was speaking to my brood sire who lives with his own family many many places away. He is learning how to grow things that his family eat and also clean the house they live in. He says it takes him a long time and he sometimes gets hurt when he breaks his family’s things. (Not on purpose of course. His hands are not small like mine and he cannot grip things properly.) His lady (that is what he calls his family: lady and man) also teaches him other things which I do not understand, but he says his lady is happy so it makes him happy. He didn’t say anything about his man teaching him, so I suggested he try the same thing for him. Maybe the lady and man will both be happy!