“We have to be going because I have to be at work early in the morning.” Preston said. He took my hand and shook it telling me how nice it was to meet me, and it was. It was very nice.
I noticed that Kennedy and Adam were exchanging numbers and I thought maybe that was what I should be doing with Preston, but I’m kind of glad he didn’t suggest it. Baby steps were best for me, and I was in no way ready to start going on real dates.
We said our goodbyes and Kennedy asked if I was ready to leave too. I nodded and followed her as she led us out the doors into the cool night air.
“So,” she beamed locking her arm through mine as we walked through the parking lot. “What did you think?”
I leaned my head over to rest on her shoulder. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “I had a great time.”
“YES!” She yelled out. “I knew that you would. I told you I would introduce you to some people with class didn’t I?” She hummed proudly as we made our way to the car.
“Yes you did, and the guys were nice. I hope that you’ll let me go with you again sometime?” I suggested. I knew that her other friends were supposed to go with us tonight, and I had a horrible feeling that they backed out because of me. Why? I didn’t know. Maybe they didn’t want to be seen with me, or maybe they were worried that I was moving in on their best friend. I really had no idea, because I had nothing to compare this too. Everything was new to me.
“Are you kidding me? Of course we’ll go again. I love having you around. I don’t have to try so hard with you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as we reached the car.
“You saw the way those ass-holes acted in there.” She said and I nodded. “My friends are no different Grace. I can’t stand it. Maybe I’m an outsider just like you, because I don’t give two shits about their fancy cars or their snobby attitudes or even their daddy’s money. I’m not going to be in this damn city forever and all I want is to be real. This fake shit gets on my nerves.” She winked at me and we climbed into the car.
She was so refreshing. I think I was beginning to love her. Not like love her love her, but like a best friend kind of love.
“I’m sorry about the way my brother and his girlfriend acted.”
And there was the magic G word.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Don’t worry about it. You think I haven’t heard it before? I’ve been called everything.” I waved her off.
“That doesn’t hurt you at all?” She turned around to face me in her seat. “Honestly Grace. How can that not bother you?”
“There was probably a time when it did many years ago, but not now. I love me, all of me. I love my shoes that have laces and my plain white socks. I love my skirts and my sweaters. I love that I have never once said the F word. I love that I haven’t had sex yet. I love that I now have my very first best friend and I am eighteen years old.” I smiled. “I’d love to tell you about my home life some time when I’m ready, but for now just know that I’m fine. I’m free.”
Her head leaned over against the headrest beside her. She smiled. I knew that she was probably wondering what I meant. She was probably running every crazy scenario through her head about my home life, but she never asked. “I love being your very first best friend.” She admitted.
“Me too. Now take me somewhere for some greasy food would ya?” I laughed and buckled my seat belt.
“You got it.” She started the car. “Hey.”
“What?” I asked.
“I hope now that you’ve seen his true colors that you’ll be over my brother.” She stated matter of fact. I felt the lump in my stomach all the way down to my butt. How the heck did she know that?
Please let this be the last time she brings this up. I thought to myself.
“Hard to be over him, when I was never under him.” I replied.
Her eyes widened. “Why little Grace, did you just make your first obscene joke?”
“What can I say? You’re rubbing off on me.” I laughed as we pulled out of the parking lot. We giggled all the way to nearest drive-thru.
14
Jackson
It was Wednesday, and I was sitting in the parking lot at school with my Lit paper in my hands, the paper that Grace had helped me write. Written in red sharpie on the top was my Grade. I’d gotten an A-. This was the best grade I had gotten on a paper since I’d been in college, and I owed it all to Grace. I had to share it with her.
I drove the few minutes to the library hoping that she’d be working.
I took the steps to the building two at a time. Opening the glass door, I searched for her. She wasn’t behind the front desk. I didn’t see anyone there. I walked through every roll of books until I finally spotted her. She had her back to me and was searching through a cart of books. I ran to her quickly not thinking about what I was doing. I grabbed her around the waist and lifted her off of the ground spinning her around.
She let out a loud squeal, and slapped my hand.
“Grace it’s me.” I said putting her back on her feet.
“Jackson.” She heaved a sigh of relief. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry.”
Her already pale face was even more ghostly. Her hand was still over her obviously racing heart when she finally looked at the paper I was holding out in front of me.
Her lip rose up a little on the corners, but it was half hearted. I thought she’d be happier than this. I thought that she’d be as happy as I was, overjoyed even.
“That’s great Jackson.” She said just above a whisper and turned back around to the bookshelf.
“What’s wrong Grace? Aren’t you happy for me?” I asked. This wasn’t the usual Grace that I was used to seeing. Normally she’d be smiling and full of life. Something was wrong with her.
“Yeah Jackson. Good job.” She said half-heartedly.
“You don’t sound too happy.”
She turned on her heels and looked me straight in the eyes. “I guess I wasn’t aware that we were speaking again.” Her eyes narrowed and she frowned.
Damn it¸ that hurt. “I deserve that.”
“Look it’s okay. I don’t care that you’re ashamed to be friends with me, but I’m not stooping to your level. This is my first chance at normalcy and I’d much rather spend it with people who are real.”
“Grace.” I spoke her name and could see the effect that it had on her. She loved hearing me say her name as much as much as I loved saying it. “I’m sorry.”
“I said it was okay. I don’t need or expect an apology from you, especially if you don’t mean it. I’m glad that you passed your essay, and I’ll help you anytime you need it. But let’s don’t pretend to be friends when we’re not.”
I swallowed the massive lump in my throat. It felt like I’d been punched in the gut, but I deserved it. I don’t know why I acted like such a douche to her. She’d never done anything to deserve it. She’d been nothing but amazing to me, and I repaid her by pretending that I didn’t even know her. When all I really wanted to do was actually know her.
I placed my hand on her shoulder and felt her body tense underneath my hand.
“I have to get back to work.” She quickly pushed the cart away and said nothing else. What else could she say? She didn’t owe me anything and she’d spoken her peace.
I walked out of the building the same way I’d came in, and I didn’t look back.
First I was angry with myself for treating her like that, then I was angry with Kennedy for introducing me to her, and then I was angry with Grace for being such a do-gooder. Too much time had passed with my mind focused solely on her, and I wasn’t wasting one more second. I knew that I’d never have a chance with her, and subconsciously I think I only wanted to sleep with her. At least that was what I was telling myself. It was fun while it lasted.