“What happened to you?” She asked. There was concern in her voice.
Of course there was concern. She was my friend. I took a deep breath trying to think of the right thing to say to keep her from asking too much.
“Remember that home life I didn’t want to talk about?” I said. I turned to face her and saw the sadness in her eyes. She nodded her head in understanding. She didn’t speak.
“I still don’t want to talk about it.” I admitted.
There was a long awkward pause from her as she looked over my bare body. There was a brief moment where I actually thought she might cry. I was shocked when all she said was, “Okay.” That was it. There was no added pressure on me. She didn’t ask any other questions, but I could tell that she wanted to. It wasn’t something that I was ready to discuss yet. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be ready.
With a hint of a smile on my face, I tried to reassure her. I wanted her to know that if I ever did want to talk about that she’d be the one that I’d tell. I trusted her that much. Reaching for her hand and squeezing it in mine I whispered. “Come on. Let’s finish getting ready. I’ll let you see my boobs.” I couldn’t contain the laughter that escaped my lips.
She laughed too. The tension in the room was finally lifted. The conversation wasn’t over. I knew that. But for a moment it wasn’t going to be thought about. That was all I could ask for.
Kennedy wore this beautiful green dress that of course showed way too much skin but she looked gorgeous. Her hair was curled and pinned back from her face. I wore a dark gray top that my Aunt Darcy had bought me that was a little bit form fitting to my body, and it had a high neckline. It was beautiful and I couldn’t wait to have some place nice to wear it to. I could in no way compare myself to Kennedy, but I felt pretty, and that was all that mattered.
We talked about the night as I sat on Kennedy’s bathroom sink and watched her spend thirty minutes putting on her makeup. It was unbelievable the amount of work it took. It seemed easy to do, but there were so many items that she put on. I couldn’t keep up. And I had no clue how she kept from poking her eyes out.
The last thing that she put on was lipstick. It was bright red, and amazing. I loved it. She caught me eyeing it, and slid the tube in my direction.
“Try it on, Gracie.” She over exaggerated the name that Tucker had given me earlier. “It’s not dangerous, it’s beautiful.” She smiled.
I pinched my lips together tightly thinking about it, before jumping off the bathroom counter. In two shaky movements, I had the prettiest lips I’d ever seen.
“Perfect.” Kennedy said. “You ready to go?”
Was I? Would I actually go out of the house with this stuff on?
Yes I would. “Let’s go. I’m ready.” I popped my lips and smiled big.
She busted out laughing, shaking her head at me. “First get the lipstick off your teeth, Cinderella.” She said still laughing.
I turned to face the mirror. My front tooth was just as red as my lips. “I,” I hesitated. “I was just saving that for later.” I shrugged. We laughed together.
“Right.”
We left the house and headed to meet the guys. I was nervous, excited, and I really couldn’t wait. My first real date, or double date I should say. Let’s do this.
16
Jackson
I heard girls giggling in the hallway and figured Kennedy was home from a drunken night out.
When I glanced at my alarm clock it read 11:27 pm. That was an awful early night for her.
Tucking my arm back under my pillow, I closed my eyes to tried hard to fall back asleep. It was no use though. I already wasn’t sleeping well, and the noise was driving me crazy.
I sat up in my bed and ran my fingers through my hair. Switching on the lamp, I reached for my shorts and pulled them on. It had been a rough week for me. Coach was pushing us extra hard during our workouts and with school being so hectic I just couldn’t keep it together. The pressure was over-whelming me. Not to mention I only had two more semesters before graduation. I was majoring in Sports Science, and minoring in sports management. Coaching was what I always intended to do, but now that it’s almost here I’m scared to death. What if I couldn’t find a job, or what if I hated it? I had discussed these things with my advisor at school and she recommended me taking a couple of classes that would allow me to focus on other things. Once the semester started I realized that I probably wasn’t cut out to do anything that didn’t revolve around sports. It was too difficult for me. There was nothing that I wanted more than to be involved in sports. It’s just scary to think about what life would be like after graduation, and even scarier when I think about my grades and whether or not I’ll actually graduate.
I let out a deep sigh and padded my way out the door.
Food was what I needed.
When I walked into the kitchen I was surprised by what I saw. The noisemakers had made their way into the kitchen. But that wasn’t what surprised me. Standing there in a long white nightgown was Grace, beautiful Grace.
“Sorry Jack, were we being loud?” I heard Kennedy ask, but my eyes weren’t looking at her.
“It’s okay.” I replied still looking at Grace.
“Hey Jackson,” she said with a small smile. Her long blonde hair hung in curls around her face, and her lips.
Jesus.
Her lips were stained red. She was wearing lipstick.
As if I didn’t already picture her lips doing dirty things, it’d be worse now.
I was supposed to be forgetting all about her. I was supposed to not allow her in my thoughts at all. There was no way in hell I could keep her out now. This was serious. My body was fighting me all the way, because I wanted her right then just as much as ever.
“Where’d you go tonight?” I asked Kennedy after I finally unglued my eyes from Grace.
“We had a double date.”
My eyes snapped back to Grace.
“You both had a date tonight?”
Grace shifted on her feet and I wished I could read her mind.
“Yes. Both of us.” Kennedy replied. “Shit, I have to check my email. I was supposed to hear back from my professor. I’ll be right back Grace.”
I could feel all of the air leave the room as soon as Kennedy left, and in a flash, Grace was leaving too. She was rushing to get away from me.
“Goodnight Jackson,” she said as she moved around me.
I don’t know why I stopped her, but I did. I grabbed her hand, and she turned back around to face me. Her chest was moving fast with each breath she took. I pulled her closer to me, and watched as she swallowed heavily.
“What are you doing to me?” My voice was low and breathless. My heart was racing. I’d never felt like that before. Never. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be easier, but nothing with Grace was easy.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t do anything to you.”
Oh naïve girl. If you only knew what you did to me.
Every inch of my body wanted to be near her, including my heart, and I had no fucking clue why. My mind said, “don’t do it.”
With my free hand, I reached up and touched her face. I slowly ran my thumb along her soft bottom lip. She sucked in a deep breath that was so loud people in the other room could hear it. Good thing no one was around.
I didn’t move though. I touched the corner of her mouth and stared into her eyes.
I was mad at her.
I was angry.
Who the fuck was I kidding? It was never her I was mad at. I was mad at myself, for treating her like shit.
I inched my lips in, closer to her face. It was an agonizing pace. “I want to kiss you Grace. I want to kiss you so bad.” I whispered.
“What are you doing to me Jackson?” She stunned me with my own question.
“Making things right.”
“For you or for me?” She asked and I could see the worry behind her eyes. I knew what she was asking of me. And the answer wasn’t the right one. It wasn’t the one she wanted to hear. I wanted to kiss her because I was selfish and I wanted it, and it wasn’t fair to her. I didn’t think I’d be able take whatever this was between us any further, at least not outside these walls. Not now. Hell, maybe she didn’t want anything from me. Maybe this was one-sided. Maybe she didn’t want me near her at all. I’m no mind reader, but all the signs were there. She was attracted to me. That was clear, but that was all I knew. All I knew for sure anyway.