“Hey.” I squeezed his side. “Thank you Tucker.” I wrapped my arm around his waist and initiated a hug. Me. I did that.
He hugged me back.
“You know that I have a brother back at home.” I said. “He would never listen to me like this or even talk to me. It’s really kind of you.”
“What an ass?” He said, talking about my brother.
“Yeah, what an ass.” I replied. We laughed together. He stayed there holding on to me. “You know I’m a pretty good listener, if you ever want to talk to me about your problems.”
“I have no problems. I’m master of the universe.” He said in a cocky tone.
“Sure, whatever Master.”
“Thanks Gracie.” He kissed the top of my head.
“I think I’m going to bed. It’s been a long day, and I’m tired.” I admitted as I stood up from the bench. The grass was cool against my bare toes. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight Gracie.”
I carried my shoes as I walked inside the house. Kennedy’s date was still there and she was cozied up with him on the sofa in the living room. The room was still filled with people. Saying my goodnights, I endured my round of hugs before heading to Kennedy’s room to go to sleep. Before I could close my eyes, I knew that I had to write. The talk with Tucker was still fresh in my mind. It would help to get a few feelings down in my book.
I changed into my nightgown and crawled into the bed. I switched the bedside lamp on to give me a little light to write by. When I was back at home I used to use a tiny little candle to write by. My dad would throw a fit if we left the lights on past a certain hour. It was too petty of a fight for me to disobey him.
Three Hearts
One to love
One I love
One I am
Two make sense
Two feel right
Two will fit
Three will love
Three will learn
Three’s a crowd
I love one
But there are two
Together we make three!
Three hearts
Three hearts
Three hearts
I’m not sure why I included Preston in my poetry. Maybe it was because he was so good to me. He was sweet and sincere. He held my hand on the table today for everyone to see. He didn’t try to hide his affections. But I’d be lying to myself if I said that I had feelings for him. I didn’t. One childish, immature, jealous, and overbearing jerk held my heart.
As I lay there in the bed, I wondered what my life would have been like if I’d stayed. I’d probably be dating some farmer who sucked up to my Father, and wouldn’t care about me at all. He’d probably want to follow right in his footsteps. Take over the farm one day, and raise a house full of kids.
Kids.
I wasn’t sure I ever even wanted to have kids. It was too late at night to be thinking about that. I tucked my notebook under my pillow for the night and drifted off to sleep.
24
Jackson
“Wake the hell up.”
I felt my body shake again with force. When I opened my eyes I saw Kennedy sitting on my bed.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Just past midnight or something.”
“Get out of my room.” I growled at her.
She didn’t listen. She scooted herself back against the headboard. “No. We have to talk.”
“No, we don’t” I accentuated the word we. I was dreaming, and she screwed it all up. “Get out.” I tried shoving her off the bed.
“Stop Jack. I want to talk about Grace.”
I rolled over onto my back, and sighed heavily. “This conversation can wait until morning.”
“You love her don’t you?” Kennedy blurted out.
“I’m not having this talk with you. You’ve got five seconds to get the hell out of my room. I’m not kidding.”
“For once in your freaking life, you and I are going to talk. She’s my best friend. Something is going on. I want to know. She’s had a bad life you know?”
I didn’t know. We’d never really discussed her life at home. “No I don’t know. I don’t know much about her life before she moved here. What do you know?”
“Very little. I think she’ll talk to me about it someday, but I get the feeling it was real bad. Actually, I know it was real bad. But despite all that, she is still the greatest girl I’ve ever known. She doesn’t care about what people think, and she wears her heart on her sleeve.” Kennedy paused a moment. “I don’t know if you’re trying to play with her emotions or what, but it has to stop. You can’t pretend to like her when no one’s looking, and then love her behind closed doors. It doesn’t work that way. I used to look up to you. I used to think that I would kill to be as popular as you are. I was there once, and I admit that it was because of you that I was. But she made me see the light. She made me realize just how stupid we were. Grace is the type of person who always sees the good in people no matter how they treat her, or what they look like. We should be taking a page from her book.”
I swallowed my pride at Kennedy’s words. She was right. I knew it all along. I knew that I was toying with her because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to be with her in public, but I didn’t want anyone else having her either. So she was different. She wasn’t that different. She was simple. God, what have I been doing? I’m an asshole.
“You are such a jerk. I can’t believe that she’d even consider having feelings for you. Hell, I’d rather see her with Tucker than with you.” Kennedy said.
“I am jerk, but don’t say that. It pisses me off.”
“Good,” she stood up from the bed. “Get pissed off. If you love that girl, than you’d better start fighting for her, because if you don’t then someone else is going to steal her heart right out from under you. And frankly, I hope that happens.”
She was angry. She was so mad at me, but I could understand why.
“I get it.” I said.
“Do you? Do you really get it?”
“Yes, damn it.” I ran my hands down my face and sat up in the bed.
“Do you love her?” She asked, but I didn’t reply. “Do you love her?” She yelled this time.
“Yes.” My admission surprised me. I did love her; I just hadn’t admitted it to myself. I was young, playing basketball, trying to get an education. This was the type of thing that I’d been avoiding. For some reason it didn’t seem right. I was avoiding her for all the wrong reasons, when I should have loved her for all the right ones.
“I knew you did. Stop being arrogant okay. Show her you care, and treat her like you care too.”
“She loves you too.” I heard Tucker say from the doorway.
“And how do you know that?” I asked.
Tucker came into the room and plopped himself down on the bed. This was the first time since we were kids that were all in the same room alone, just talking.
“She told me Brother. I had a long talk with her outside today. I think she’s mad at herself for loving you, because she feels betrayed. She feels like she’s wasted her time having feelings for someone who doesn’t have them in return.” He explained.
Kennedy laughed.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Tucker is the voice of reason. I never thought I’d see the day.” She laughed again.
I laughed too. She was right.
“Hey now. You two are the ones who thought I was the black sheep. You just never gave me a chance. Like I told Gracie, I’m master of the universe. I can’t help it if you two idiots never saw it before. I’m King of the World.”