“Good God. Get out of my room before your large head suffocates us all.” I said, rolling my eyes. “I get what you guys are saying, and I’m going to do better. Maybe it just took a little heart to heart with you guys to see it. I’m requesting that we don’t ever do this again though. Stay out of my love life, and out of my room.”
“He’s back.” Tucker and Kennedy said in unison.
“Damn straight. Now get out.” I pointed towards the door.
25
Grace
It was fun spending the weekend at Kennedy’s, but I was glad to be back home. I wasn’t glad about the 15 messages on the machine from my angry father, but glad that I could get back to my day-to-day routine. The break off from the Library was nice, but I loved it there. I was ready to get back to work.
Aunt Darcy had a great getaway with Paul. She couldn’t wait to tell me all about it when she got home. She shared her stories, and I shared mine over ice cream and Christmas movies. Who knew they showed Christmas movies on television when December hadn’t even got there yet?
I laced up my shoes, and grabbed a heavy jacket for my walk this morning. Aunt Darcy said that she’d drive me, but I left her sleeping. I was perfectly fine with walking to work. It wasn’t that far. The morning walk always did me some good.
Waiting on my porch as I closed the front door behind me was Jackson. He was standing there with his back rested against the wooden beam, and his hands were tucked deep inside his jean pockets.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. I was confused. He never just showed up at my house before. I was certainly missing something.
“I have an early practice this morning so I thought I’d offer you a ride to work before I go.” He replied. I could barely see his blue eyes that were hidden beneath his baseball cap. He looked so good in a hat.
“That’s really nice of you. I don’t mind the walk though.” I really didn’t. The walks gave me time to think.
“I know you don’t, but I’d like to take you today if that’s okay.” He stepped closer to me, and held out his hand.
What was this all about? He was like a bucket of ice on a steaming hot summer day. He was freezing cold one minute, and warm and melted the next. Of course I couldn’t resist him though. I slid my hand into his, and let him lead me down the steps.
“Thank you.” I said.
“You’re welcome.”
For the first time in a while, I saw a genuine smile. The one that first made me want to kiss him.
Not much was said on the car ride to work. I was still trying to wrap my head around why he was suddenly being so nice. He pulled the car up as close as he could to the entrance.
“Have a good day at work.” He said, as I was just about to open my door.
I remember my Mom telling me once that crazy, unmentionable things happened when there was a full moon. I couldn’t see the moon at this hour, but I was certain that it had to be as full as it could get today.
“Thank you, and thanks for the ride.” I smiled, closing the door behind me. I didn’t stay and ask him why he was acting so strange. My Momma did teach me to leave well enough alone.
His kindness didn’t go unnoticed though. In fact, I thought about it for the greater part of my workday. I thought about it too much actually. Every time the door opened to the Library I pictured him walking through the doors. It was a hindrance more than anything.
Just before my shift ended I received a text from Preston. He’d been so nice about Thanksgiving. He never once worried about Jackson. He never stooped to his level. He truly was a nice guy, too nice sometimes. His message was sweet, and he asked if I’d call him when I got home from work. This was it. I could no longer trudge along his feelings. I had to tell him that I had feelings for Jackson. No matter how silly and immature he acted, my heart was only with him. It would surely be the most difficult adult conversation that I would ever have, but I couldn’t let him continue believing that I had feelings for him when I didn’t. It wasn’t fair.
It was still light outside when I got off work. It was nice to not have to lock up for a change. I enjoyed being able to get off early enough that I could walk home in the daylight. The sun was deceiving though. The cold chill of the air made my legs cold. One thing about skirts in the winter was that they offered very little warmth. Thank goodness for tall socks.
I took the steps two at a time as I made my way down to the sidewalk. I pulled my hood up over my head to block the cold from my face as best as I could. The temperature had dropped a lot since when I’d gotten to work this morning.
“Grace,” I heard someone call after me.
I had already begun walking in the direction of my house. When I turned around I saw Jackson steadily walking towards me.
“Wait up,” he called out.
“What…” I started to say, but waited for him to get closer. “What are you doing here?” I asked with a sniffle. The cold was already making my nose run. I wished I had worn my stockings and my gloves.
“I came to pick you, and take you home.”
“Why are you doing this?” I asked.
“Look, we can talk about it in the car. It’s freezing out today. Come on.” He turned around and walked in the direction of his car, not giving me a chance to refuse.
I took a seat in the passenger side of the car and rubbed my hands along the top of my thighs. My legs were so cold. He turned the dial of the heat on full blast just before he drove away from the curb. I still had no explanation for his erratic behavior.
“What’s going on Jackson?” My voice was barely above a whisper.
“I’m trying, that’s what’s going on.”
That still explained nothing.
“Trying what?” I don’t know how I got to be so brave. I think a little bit of Tucker was coming out of me. His quick wit kept me on my toes.
He looked at me with his gorgeous blue eyes, then back to the road. Then back at me. What was he trying to tell me? He reached his arm over to me and placed his hand over top of my hands. One of his hands nearly covered both of mine. His thumbed moved softly over my skin. Just the feel of him made my insides dance. If he only knew what he did to me.
I could have pulled away. I could have told him not to touch me, but I didn’t. I craved his touch more than anything. That night at Thanksgiving when he touched my leg under the table, I had to fight everything inside me to push his hand away. The only thing that helped me was the anger. The fact that he could touch me where no one was looking instead of in plain view for everyone to see made me so mad. Even now, in the car, didn’t prove a thing.
Still, I didn’t want him to stop touching me.
“If you give me a chance, which I know I don’t deserve, I’m going to prove to you that I can do this.”
What was I supposed to say to that? I wanted to say, yes! “Jackson, I don’t know. I mean you barely know me. You don’t even want to be seen with me.”
“All I can do is apologize for that. You don’t have to say anything today. Just give me a chance to prove it to you.” He pleaded. I wanted to believe him. I really did. Deep down in my heart I wanted him to change so badly, or to at least feel for me the way I felt for him. “You don’t have to say anything. Just don’t. I’m going to make you see.”
He gave my hand a little squeeze as he parked the car in front of my sidewalk.
“If I call you tonight, will you answer?” He asked.
“Yes.” I said, probably with too much enthusiasm.
“Good. I’ll call you later.” He leaned across the seat and gently kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes when his lips touched me. I wanted to freeze time at that exact moment.
“Bye.” I spoke quietly as I climbed out of the car.
Would he call me? I didn’t know, but I was going to hold on to the idea that he was. Maybe he could change. Maybe he didn’t have to change, he just had to open up. Either way I wanted to be the girl that he opened up for.