My heart wanted him.
26
Jackson
I had my phone in my hand ready to dial her number. I’d been thinking about this call since the moment I left her house. I couldn’t wait to hear her voice, and I’d planned on keeping her up for her first all night conversation. I intended to find out as much as I could about her, if she’d let me.
Making myself comfortable in my bed, I pressed the call button. She answered on the second ring.
“Hello.” She said hesitantly.
“Hi.” I said.
“Who is this?” She asked.
I sat there a minute. Did she not recognize my voice? I knew I’d never actually called her phone before, but I thought she was expecting my call.
“I’m just kidding.” She giggled. She really giggled. It was the cutest sound ever.
“You little jokester.”
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.” Her admission was adorable.
“It’s a good thing I can take a joke.” I smiled although she couldn’t see me. “What are you doing?”
“I was just writing in my poetry journal.”
“You like poetry?” I asked. Let the questions begin.
“I love it. I’m not a professional or anything. It’s just something I like doing. It’s better than a diary to me. More therapeutic,” she explained. “Do you keep a journal or anything?”
I laughed. “No. Isn’t that a girl thing?”
“No, you jerk face.”
“Did you just call me a jerk face?”
“Maybe…” There was that giggle again. “Jackson can I ask you a question? I mean will you answer me honestly?”
“Sure.” I was a little nervous, but I’d be honest with her. I owed her that much.
There was a little pause, and I was thinking that maybe she wasn’t going to ask after all.
“What made you change your mind?”
“About what?” I asked.
“Me. You were all -I like you let me kiss you, then you were all -I don’t want to talk to you or be seen with you. I’m getting whip lash.”
I knew I needed to be honest. “Preston.” I sighed, “If I’m being honest. I hated seeing him with you. I hated it so bad. I didn’t want him touching you. I didn’t want him to share whatever thoughts you had in your head. I wanted them to be for me.”
She was silent, eerily silent.
“I told you I’d be honest.”
“Thank you.” The line fell silent once more, but she finally spoke. “Does that mean that this is just a jealousy thing? Do you just want me, because someone else does?”
“No. It doesn’t. It means that I’m staking claim on what’s mine. Or what I’d like to be mine. I want to be with you Grace. I want to kiss you. I want to talk to you all the time. I want you to be my girl. Not just sometime, all the time.” I admitted. I wanted her to know where I stood. I was ready to take that leap with her.
“Your girl?”
“My girl.” I repeated.
“Can we take things slow? I’m not ready to turn over my heart just yet.” Her voice was low and solemn.
That was not exactly a –yes I want to be your girl, but I’d take it. “We can go as slow as you want? Would you come to my game on Friday?”
“I’ll think about it.” She said.
Whew. This was going to be harder than I thought. It was just a basketball game. When she said slow, she meant it.
The topic of conversation took a wide left turn and I was glad. We had the serious stuff taken care of. I wanted to ask her more questions about herself. She was always open and honest with me about everything, even when I asked about our kiss. She was not as shy over the phone as she was in person. She was braver. I felt like I could ask almost anything. Almost…
When she started yawning, she said she needed to get off the phone. It was just past eleven, and I could hear just how tired she was. I didn’t want to let her go just yet. I persuaded her not to hang up. I used my soft, gravely voice to convince her to stay. Told her that I just wanted to hear her breathing, and it was the truth. I’d never been in a relationship like this. Not one where I wanted to hear her voice, and see her face. Not one where I thought about her all the time. This was so much more. She had situated herself right inside my chest, where I’d break if I ever let her go.
Her breathing was heavy, and as she drifted off to sleep I could hear a tiny little snore. It was so quiet, that I’d miss it if I weren’t really listening. Hanging on the line just a little longer, I waited for her to make a sound, any sound. Did she talk in her sleep? I had to hang up. She wasn’t the type of girl that would like for me to be listening to her without her knowledge. She was good and pure, and as innocent as they come. No matter how badly I wanted to lie there and listen to her all night, I couldn’t.
I whispered goodnight, and hung up the phone. Breathing deeply and thinking about her beautiful voice, I drifted off to sleep. With her on my mind, I knew I’d have the best dreams ever.
27
Grace
“Grace! Kennedy is here.”
“Okay. Be right down.” I called downstairs to Aunt Darcy.
At the bottom of the steps Kennedy was waiting. “You ready?” She asked.
“Where we going?”
“Jackson said he invited you to the game, and I’m here to make sure that you go. Mom and Dad are in the car. They’re going too.”
“I… Maybe…” I hesitated. I was going to kill him for telling her. The point was to take things slow. I didn’t want to jump right into things without knowing for sure that he was serious.
“Get your coat and your mittens. Move it sister.”
There was no arguing with her, but I gave her an evil look. That would teach her.
“I’m so glad that you decided to come dear. Jackson has been talking about you for days. I’m so glad that you too are finally going to be together.” Claire said as she reached around the seat and patted my knee.
Whoa. What? Hold the phone?
Crap. Even in my head I sounded like Kennedy.
I smiled. That was it, and it wasn’t even a real smile. It was more like an I’m-truly-frightened-and-I-may-puke, half smile. What happened to taking it slow? Did he tell his parents everything? I hadn’t even talked to Kennedy about this, but after looking at her face, she obviously thought this was the greatest thing in the world. Her wide smile spread all the way to the tips of her eyes, and once again I thought I was going to puke.
I turned my head to stare out the window. It suddenly felt like there wasn’t enough air in the car. Everyone in it was sucking up too much of my oxygen.
Share. Share the freaking oxygen people.
Nick drove around the parking lot at the school several times, until he finally chose a spot. Claire kept nagging at him to pick a spot some time in this century. They were highly amusing. I was thankful for their light banter, because it was helping to keep my mind off the inevitable. I bundled up my coat a little tighter, and pressed myself into Kennedy’s side as we made our way inside.
The seating was ridiculous at the school. I’d never saw so many people. It was unbelievable the amount of space and people it took to fill up the place. The place was huge. Everyone was wearing their school shirts in support of the team, and I was in my usual skirt and sweater. Sticking out like a sore thumb was something I mastered. There was no need in changing things now.
Nick and Claire led us to our seats, the most amazing seats in the house. They had to be. We were just a few rows from the floor. We’d probably be able to smell the sweat from the players.
I cringed at my thought.
Behind us were thousands of seats, and they rose high up to the ceiling. I could feel my knees tremble at the thought of having to sit up at the top.
“Isn’t this amazing?” Kennedy leaned over to speak to me. The packed house was noisy so I could barely hear her.
I nodded my head in agreement. This was my first time. My first live sporting event, my first time inside of an arena that big, and my first time watching Jackson play ball. My heart was beating clean out of my chest.