Guess who was at their head?"
"Castor?"
"Livia. She brought us just as we were into Augustus' presence. Castor was with him, though Livilla had told me that he was dining at the other side of the City. Augustus dismissed the guard, and Livia, who had hardly said a word until then, began her attack on me. She told him that on his suggestion she had gone to my quarters to acquaint me privately with /Emilia's charges and ask me what explanation I had to offer."
"^Emilia!
Which
^Emilia?"
"My
niece,"
"I didn't know she had anything against you."
"She hasn't. She was in the plot too. So Livia said that, not finding me in my quarters, she had made enquiries and had been told that the patrol had seen me sitting in the garden under a pear tree on the south side. She sent a soldier to find me but he came back and said that I wasn't there but that he had something suspicious to report: a man climbing from one upper balcony to another just above the sundial. She knew whose rooms those were and was greatly alarmed. By good luck she had arrived just in time. She had heard Livilla's screams for help: I had broken into her bedroom by way of the balcony and was on the point of raping her. The guards had burst down the door and pulled me away from 'the terrified and half-naked young woman'. She had brought me here at once, and Livilla as a witness. While Livia was telling her story that whore Livilla was sobbing and hiding her face. Her dressing-gown was ripped across--she must have torn it herself deliberately. Augustus called me a beast and a satyr and "asked me whether I had gone mad. Of course, I couldn't deny that I had been in her bedroom or even that I had been making love to her. I said that I had come by invitation, and tried to explain things from the beginning, but Livilla began screaming, 'It's a lie. It's a lie.
I was asleep and he came in by the window and tried to rape me.' Then Livia said,
'And I suppose your niece ^Emilia invited you to assault her too? You seem very popular with the young women.' That was clever of Livia. I had to justify myself about ^Emilia and leave the Livilla story. I told Augustus that I had dined with my sister Julilla the night before and that /Emilia was there, but that this was the first time I had seen the girl for six months. I asked on what occasion I was supposed to have assaulted her and Augustus said that I knew very well when it was--after dinner in the temporary absence of her parents who were called away by an alarm of thieves--and that I had only been prevented by the return of her parents. The story was so ridiculous that, furious as I was, I could not help laughing; but this increased Augustus' rage. He was about to rise from his ivory chair and strike me."
I said: "I don't understand? Was there really an alarm of thieves?"
"Yes, and--Emilia and I were left alone for a few minutes, but the conversation was most blameless and her governess was there. We were discussing fruit-trees and [145] gar den-pests until Julflla and ^Smilius came back and said that it was a false alarm. Julilla and Emilias aren't in Livia's pay, you may be sure--they hate her--so ^Emilia must have arranged it. I began to think quickly what spite she held against me, but I could remember nothing. Suddenly the explanation occurred to me. Julilla had told me a secret that -/Emilia was at last getting what she wanted: she was to marry Appius Silanus. You know that young dandy, don't you?"
"Yes. But I don't follow."
"It's quite simple, I said to Livia: '^Emilia's reward for this lie is to be marriage to Silanus, isn't it? And what does Livilla get? Did you promise to poison her present husband and provide her with a handsomer one?' Once I had mentioned poison I knew that I was doomed. So I decided to say as much as I could while I had the opportunity. I asked Livia just how she had arranged the poisoning of my father and brothers and whether she favoured slow poisons or quick ones. Claudius, do you think that she killed them?
I'm sure of it."
"You dared ask her that? It's very probable. I think she poisoned my father and my grandfather, too," I said, "and I don't suppose they were her only victims.
But I have no proof."
"Neither have I, but I enjoyed accusing her of it. I shouted at the top of my voice so that half the Palace must have heard. Livia hurried from the room and called the guard. I saw Livilla smiling. I made a grab at her throat but Castor got between us and she escaped. Then I grappled with Castor and broke his arm and knocked out two of his front teeth on the marble floor. But I did not struggle with the soldiers. It would have been undignified. Besides, they were armed. Two of them held each of my arms as Augustus thundered abuse and threats at me. He said that I am to be banished for life to the most desolate island in his dominions and that only his unnatural daughter could have bome him so unnatural a grandson. I told him that in name he was Emperor of the Romans but in fact he was less free than the girl slave of a drunken bawdmaster, and that one day his eyes would be opened to the unnatural crimes and deceits of his abominable wife.
But meanwhile, I said, my love and loyalty to him remained unchanged."
The hue and cry was now sounding through the lower story of our house.
Postumus said: "I don't want to compromise you, dear Claudius. I must not be found in your room. If I had a sword now I'd use it. Better to die fighting than to rot away on an island."
"Patience,
Postumus.
Yield now and your chance will come later. I promise
you it will come. When Germanicus knows the truth he'll not rest until you're free again, and neither will I. If you get yourself killed it will only be a cheap triumph for Livia."
"You and Germanicus can't explain away all that evidence against me.
You'd only get yourself into trouble if you tried."
"The opportunity will come, I say. Livia has had things her own way too long and she'll grow careless. She's bound to make a slip soon. She wouldn't be human if she didn't."
"I don't think she is human," Postumus said.
"And when Augustus suddenly realises how he has been deceived, don't you think he'll be as merciless towards her as he was towards your mother?"
"She'll poison him first."
"Germanicus and I will see that she doesn't. We'll warn him. Don't despair, Postumus. Everything will be all right in the end. I'll write you letters as often as I can, and send you books to read. I'm not afraid of Livia. If you don't get my letters you'll know that they are being held back. Look carefully at the seventh page of any sewn-sheet book that reaches you from me. It will have a private message for you I'll write it in milk there. It's a trick that the Egyptians use. The writing is invisible until you warm it in front of a fire. Oh, listen to those doors banging. You must go now. They're at the end of the next corridor."
Tears were in his eyes. He embraced me tenderly without another word and walked quickly to the balcony. He climbed over the edge, waved his hand in farewell and slid down the old vine up which he had climbed. I heard him running away through the garden and a moment later cries and shouts from the guard.