„Why didn’t he take the cruiser to the girl’s house?“
„She told him it would be faster to cross the backyards, that it was only a few houses away. She was crying and hysterical. Then she was gone. Disappeared into thin air when he’d turned his back to search for the old man. By the time he realized he’d been set up, I was here.“
Kristen nuzzled her cheek against the crisp cotton of his shirt and once again his hand threaded through her curls, massaging the back of her head. She could feel the tension lessen by slow degrees. „Well, it’s done and over and we’re both all right. What a day.“
His hand stilled, his palm cradling her head. „Kristen, I’m sorry.“
She opened her eyes to find him staring down at her, his eyes desolate. „Why?“
„Because I made you feel bad in front of my family. Yes, you sound like Debra. But I swear to you, you are not a substitute for my dead wife.“
She looked at his face, felt his strong arms around her. Remembered how it had felt when she heard him banging on the basement door. He’d come back. „It’s okay.“
His eyes widened. „It is?“
She nodded. „Abe, you’ve come every time I’ve called. You made me feel things I never thought I’d ever feel. I’m grateful for that. In the grand scheme of life, whether I sound like Debra or not really isn’t that important.“ She narrowed her eyes. „Now if you want me to wear her clothes or wear my hair like her, I may start to get a little weirded out.“
He chuckled. „You’d look like a kid playing dress-up if you tried to wear Debra’s clothes. She was five-eleven without her shoes on.“
Kristen returned her head to his shoulder, felt his arms tighten around her in response. „I liked your family, Abe. Even Aidan.“
He snorted gently. „Aidan can be a real ass sometimes.“
„Not like you.“
He pulled back to glare down at her. „Excuse me?“
„It’s not like you got mad at me for including cops on the list of suspects. Right?“
He yanked one of her curls. „Hush, or I won’t give you a massage.“
Her brows shot up. „A massage? Really?“
„I was considering it. You’re still tighter than a drum.“
She regarded him intently, thought about having his hands on her shoulders and her back and she wanted to melt. Conversely, she thought about his hands on her… elsewhere… and her stomach clenched. „I trust you, you know?“
His eyes heated with what she’d left unsaid. „I know. It kills me to know, but yeah, I know. Proper massage. No more. But I do want something in return.“
She sucked in one cheek. „What?“
„Tell me about your family. I took you to mine, idiot brother and all. Tell me about yours.“
Kristen sighed. It wasn’t the same, not at all. But again, in the grand scheme of life, what did it really matter? „I grew up on a farm in Kansas a hundred miles from the nearest stoplight. There was just me and my sister, Kara“
„You said that your sister died in a drunk-driving accident.“
She felt the familiar ache, as if it were yesterday instead of fifteen years ago. „I was sixteen, she was eighteen. Kara always was the wild one. We grew up in a very…“ She searched for the right word. „Our house was rigid. My father liked rules. Kara didn’t. When she was eighteen, she took a trip with some friends. They drove into Topeka, hotbed of sin.“
Abe smiled and ruefully she smiled back. „After living on a little farm with wheat as far as the eye could see, even Topeka was like living on the edge.“ She sobered, remembering now. „Kara must have gone to some parties. Anyway, my parents got the call from the state police in the middle of the night. Kara was dead.“
He’d sobered as well. „I’m sorry.“
„So was I. On a number of levels. I loved my sister, and I missed her. I still do. But something happened to my parents after she was gone. My father grew more rigid and Mother just wound down. Before, she’d temper his rules. But after Kara died, she just went into this… I don’t know. A dark place. She was never the same again.“
„You must’ve been angry that she didn’t care enough to be there for you.“
Kristen considered it. „I suppose so. I was mad. Plus, my father cracked down even harder on me. You’d’ve thought it was me that was the wild child. He wouldn’t let me leave the house except for school. I missed the football games, prom, everything. But I had a wonderful art teacher in high school who helped me get the work study program in Florence, set me up with a local family. Even asked my father for permission to let me go.“
„He said no.“
Kristen looked up at him. His eyes hadn’t left her face. „He said no.“ She shrugged. „So I defied him and went anyway. I was eighteen by then and had saved my money from babysitting before Kara died. Plus, Kara had a nest egg set aside. I knew she’d want me to have it, so I took it and bought a ticket to Italy. One way. I knew I’d eventually have to come home, but I wasn’t thinking that far ahead.“
„I can’t visualize you as an extemporaneous girl,“ Abe said softly.
Kristen thought of the girl she’d been. „Time changes people. Anyway, I came back from Italy and went to college. My father never changed, so I just… left“ It was a partial truth, but all she was able or willing to tell at this point. Maybe ever.
He studied her face and she knew he knew she hadn’t told the whole story, but he didn’t press. „You said your father is still alive. When was the last time you saw him?“
„Last month.“
Abe’s brows shot up. „Last month?“
„Yes. My mom is in a nursing home.“ Her throat tightened. „She’s in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. She hasn’t recognized me in three years, but I fly back to Kansas once a month to visit her. My dad was there the last time. He usually doesn’t come on my Sundays, but my mom had a bad night and they’d called him in. He left the room when I arrived, so technically I saw him, but we didn’t speak.“
„I’m sorry.“
„So am I. It’s hard to see my mother like that. I enjoyed just watching your mother tonight Before Kara died, my mom used to love being in her kitchen. After Kara died, she was too depressed. Now she just lies there, wasting away. She hasn’t been my mom since I was sixteen.“
He was quiet a moment. „I used to visit Debra and talk and talk and never know if she heard a word I said.“
Kristen rested her forehead on his chest „Sometimes,“ she said wearily, „I just wish she’d die and then I feel so guilty.“
His chest rose and fell. „Yeah, I used to do the same. And I’d feel guilty, too.“
„On Friday night you said she was in a coma for five years.“ Five years was one hell of a long time to watch someone you loved just exist.
„She wasn’t in a coma. She was in a persistent vegetative state. It’s different. Debra was clinically brain-dead from the moment they wheeled her into the ER.“
Kristen hesitated, then blurted it out. „Did you ever consider pulling her life support?“
Another rise and fall of his massive chest. „Only every time I saw her or thought about her. But I couldn’t. As long as she was alive, I just couldn’t. But her parents wanted me to.“
Kristen’s eyes widened. „I thought parents were usually the ones to hold on.“
„Not Debra’s.“ His face shadowed. „Her father was suing me for custody when she died. They said she wouldn’t want to go on like that and I knew it was true, but she was alive.“
„And if she was alive there was hope.“