“Get out!” Joe yells over the concussions of boxcars, and he reaches across her body to open the door. She looks at him in amazement, then mournfully steps out into the gutter, her breasts still exposed. Without looking back, he guns into the daylight on the other side, catches the green going yellow on Western, veers into traffic, rattles across the bridge wheeled by pigeons that spans the Sanitary Canal. He isn’t going back to his place, he’s not heading to pick up his laundry, and until he finishes this job he’s not going to Fabio’s or any of the hangouts where he might run into Whitey. It’s Thursday, and Joe’s been seeing Gloria Candido on the sly on Thursdays, when Julio goes to his grandmother’s after school, but Joe isn’t going to Gloria’s either. He’s in the flow of Amazon Avenue, popping painkillers, Grace’s handprint still hot on his face. He heads south to see what’s at the end of the longest street in the world. The radio is off as if he’s broken contact, and he’d drive all night if not for hallucinations of headlights coming head-on. Finally he has to pull over and close his eyes. When he wakes, not sure he was ever really asleep, he’s parked on a shoulder separated from a field by rusty barbed wire netted in spider silk suspending pink droplets of sun. The blank highway is webbed like that as far as he can see. He thinks, I could just keep going, and at the next gas station, on an impulse, Joe decides he will keep going if she doesn’t answer the phone. But then he doesn’t have enough change to make the call. “Make it collect, for Vi Sovereign,” he tells the operator.
“Who should I say is calling?” the operator asks.
“Tell her a friend who’s been calling, she’ll know.” And when the operator does, Vi accepts the call. “Where you calling from?” Vi asks. “I hear cars.”
“A phone booth off Western Avenue. Johnny home?”
“You’re calling early,” she says. “He’ll be home around noon or so for lunch.”
“You don’t know where he is or what he’s doing? I can hear it in your voice. Did he even come home last night?”
“What do you keep calling for? If you’re trying to tell me something about Johnny, just say it. You somebody’s husband? What’s your name?”
“Maybe we’ll meet sometime. I’d pay you back for the phone call, but then you’d know it was me.”
“I’ll recognize your voice.”
“Better you don’t,” Joe says, and hangs up.
Before noon, he pulls up behind Johnny Sovereign’s. From the longest street in the world, he’s back to idling in a blocklength alley, and yet it’s oddly peaceful there, private, a place that’s come to feel familiar, and he’s so tired and wired at the same time that he’d be content just to drowse awhile with the sun soothing his eyelids. He lights a smoke, chucks the crushed, empty pack out the window, checks the empty alley in the rearview mirror, and notices the handprint still visible on his face. He catches his own eyes glancing uncomfortably back, embarrassed by the intimacy of the moment, as if neither he nor his reflection wants anything to do with each other. He puts on a pair of sunglasses he keeps in the visor, and when he looks up through their green lenses, a tanned blonde with slender legs, in a halter top and short turquoise shorts, stands beside the morning glories. She’s wearing sunglasses, too.
“Hi, Joe, they told me I’d find you here. I been waiting all morning, thinking how it would be when I saw you. I missed you so much, baby. I thought I could live without you, but I can’t.”
“Capri,” he says.
She smiles at the sound of her name. “My guy, my baby.”
“Oh fuck, fuck, not you, baby. I didn’t care about the others, but not you, too.” He hasn’t realized until now that he’s been waiting for this moment ever since, without warning, her letters had stopped, leaving a silence that has grown increasingly ominous. Her last letter ended: “Sometimes I read the weather in your city, so that I can imagine you waking up to it, living your life without me.” After a month with no word, he’d asked Sal if he’d heard anything about her, but he hadn’t. In all likelihood she’d met someone, and Joe thought he’d be making a fool of himself getting in touch. Even so, he tried calling, but her number was disconnected.
“I’m back, baby. Aren’t you glad to see me?” She steps toward the car and removes her sunglasses. He can’t meet her eyes any more than he can meet his own in the mirror. If he could speak, the words he’d say—“I’m crying in my heart”—wouldn’t be his, and when she reaches her arms out, Joe slams the car into reverse, floors it, and halfway down the alley, skidding along garbage cans, hits a bag lady. He can hear her groan as the air goes out of her. He sees her sausage legs kicking spasmodically from where he’s knocked her, pinned and thrashing between two garbage cans. Joe keeps going.
Nothing’s more natural than sky.
From here railroad tracks look like stitching that binds the city together. If shadows can be trusted, the buildings are growing taller. From up here, gliding, it’s clear there’s a design: the gaps of streets and alleys are for the expansion of shadow the way lines in a sidewalk allow for the expansion of pavement in the heat.
With a message to carry, there isn’t time to ride a thermal of blazing roses, to fade briefly from existence like a daylight moon. What vandal cracked its pane? The boy whose slingshot shoots cat’s-eye marbles? The old man with a cane, who baits a tar roof with hard corn then waits with his pellet gun, camouflaged by a yellowed curtain of Bohemian lace?
Falcons that roost among gargoyles, feral cats, high-voltage wires, plate glass that mirrors sky — so many ways to fall from blue. When men fly they know by instinct they defy.
It’s not angels the Angelus summons but iridescent mongrels with blue corkers in the history of their genes, and carriers, fantails, pouters, mondains — marbled, ring-necked, crested — tipplers, tumblers, rollers, homers homeless as prodigals, all circling counterclockwise around the tolling belfry of St. Pius as if flying against time. Home lost, but not the instinct to home. Message lost, but not the instinct to deliver.
From up here it’s clear the saxophone emitting dusk on a rooftop doesn’t know it plays in harmony with the violin breaking hearts on the platform of an El, or with the blind man’s accordion on an empty corner, breaking no heart other than its own. Or with the chorus of a thousand blackbirds. Love can’t keep silent, and this is its song.
“You need a fucken ark to get through that shit,” Johnny Sovereign says.
The flooded side street is a dare: sewers plugged, hydrants uncapped, scrap wood wedged against each gushing hydrant mouth to fashion makeshift fountains.
“Think of it as a free car wash,” Joe says.
“I don’t see you driving your T-bird through.”
“I might if it was whitewashed with baked pigeon shit. Go, man!”
They crank up the windows and Sovereign guns the engine and drops the canary yellow Pancho into first. By second gear, water sheets from the tires like transparent wings, then the blast of the first hydrant cascades over the windshield, and Sovereign, driving blind, flicks the wipers on and leans on the horn. By the end of the block they’re both laughing.
“You can turn your wipers off now,” Joe says. He can hear the tires leaving a trail of wet treads as they turn down Cermak. “Where you going, man?” Joe asks.