"To life," said Herbert Badgery.
"I'm not a drinking man," Stu said, "but by God it warms you."
There was a pause. Stu traced unstable patterns in the spilt wine on the oilcloth.
"I never liked the idea of lessons," he said. "I never took a lesson in anything."
"You've done well."
Stu tilted back in his chair and surveyed the room. He picked up the kerosene light and held it above his head.
"I built it myself. I was working for a real estate agent, selling blocks of land in Melbourne. I was doing well. They wanted to promote me. But I had it in my head I wanted to make something myself. You could say I had tickets on myself, but I wanted tomake something, not just sell things. So I bought this land and I didn't know a sheep's head from its arse."
"You've got a lot to be proud of."
We drank. I made appreciative smacking noises with my lips which were sweet and sticky with the wine.
"Lessons were something I had no time for. No one gave me a lesson. But look at it."
"It's a fine house."
"It's a shamozzle," Stu said firmly.
"Come on, man…"
"It'll fall over."
"No."
"You haven't been here in a southerly. You wouldn't know. You haven't lain here like I have listening to the damn thing moving in the wind." He stood up and carried the lantern across to the outside wall. The studs showed on the inside, the outside was clad with rough-nailed weatherboards. He held the lantern high in one hand and banged the wall hard with the fist of the other. The wall bowed and shuddered and a plate fell from the dresser on the other side of the room. Stu kicked at the broken pieces.
"I never learned to dance," he said as he sat down. "I never got the hang of it."
I was embarrassed. I had a bad conscience about my motives for visiting O'Hagen's. I leaned to pick up the shards of plate.
"Leave them," Stu said. "I've been wrong. I've been very wrong."
I didn't know where to look. "You've got two fine boys", I said, "and a good wife."
"That's true," he said, "about the boys at least." His eyes were brimful of moisture. "I'll buy the car," he said, "and I'll pay the three quid for the lessons."
I had the papers in my pocket and I could have signed him up there and then. I sat there, worrying at them, folding them back and forth.
"No," I said, "I couldn't."
"Yes, I've been a fool. I've been a fool in most things. The bloody German is a better farmer than I am. The little coot looks like he'll blow over in the wind, but he's made something of that place. He'smade something. He's a lovely little farmer."
"He is."
"I'll buy this Ford," Stu said, "and I'll take lessons."
"I couldn't," I said. "I couldn't let you."
O'Hagen blinked.
"Well, what", he said, pulling the demijohn back to his side of the table, "did you come here for?"
"To show you the Ford, that's true."
"You came here to come dancing," O'Hagen said. "You came here to prance around my kitchen."
"No, I assure you."
"Well, what for?"
I could not sell a Ford to a weeping man. He made me feel grubby. I too was smitten with the desire to do something decent.
"I told you," he said, "I'll take the lessons. I'll take them." Tears were now streaming down his cheeks. "I'll pay the three quid. I don't care who laughs at me."
"No one will laugh at you. That's not the point. The point is the Ford is the wrong car."
He wiped his eyes with his grubby sleeve. "So Patrick Hare was right then? The Dodge is a better car."
"Not the Dodge. The Summit. It's the Summit you should have."
"What in the name of God is a Summit?" Stu shouted.
"A car," I shouted back. "A vehicle, made in Australia. An Australian car."
"An Australian car," O'Hagen said. "What a presumption."
"A what?"
"A presumption. Are you sitting there and telling me we can make a better car than the Yanks? God Jesus Christ in Heaven help me. Mary Mother of God," he whispered and seemed to find her in the gloom above the roof joists. "You're a salesman, Mr Badgery," he said. "The country is full of bloody salesmen. You don't have to know anything to be a salesman. All you need to do is talk. That's why everyone does it. But if you want to really do something you need some bloody brains, some nous. Now tell me, tell me truly, is this Australian car of yours a better car than the Ford?"
"It's not the point about better," I said, "it's a question of where the money goes. You'd be better off with a worse car if the money stayed here."
"You're cock-eyed, man. You're a bloody hypocrite. You go around making a quid from selling the bloody things, and now you tell me I shouldn't buy one. You're making no sense," Stu sighed. "Sell me the bloody Ford before I lose my temper."
"I will not," I said. "If you give me leave I'll travel up to Melbourne and pick up a Summit and bring it down here. It's a beautiful vehicle."
"Is the Summit", Stu said slowly, "as good as a Ford?"
"The difference is not worth a pig's fart."
"A subject", my host said, "of which you would be ignorant."
I was never good with drink. I got myself too excited and I did not express myself as well as I might.
"Do you want Henry Ford", I roared, "to tell you when to get out of bed in the morning."
"Sell me the Ford," Stu roared. "Give me lessons."
"I won't."
"Sell it to me, man, or by God I'll learn you."
"Learn you! Learn you! You talk as ignorant as you think."
"Ignorant," said O'Hagen quietly, "but not so ignorant I don't know why you came here." He stood and walked unsteadily to the wood stove. I paid him no attention.
The poker crashed down on the table. It missed my hand by less than an inch.
"You silly bastard," I hollered, leaping up, and falling backwards over my chair.
And then everything was confusing. I wrestled the poker away and O'Hagen was on the floor but someone was still pummelling me.
I found Goog, in a nightshirt, punching me around the head. And then Goog was lying on the floor in the corner near the stove. A small trickle of blood came from his nose. He was whimpering.
I was sick at heart as I stumbled from the house. In my mind's eye I could see, not Goog, but a brush-tailed possum laid waste in the fallen branches of a tree.
24
I woke just before dawn. The Ford was in the middle of the saltpans and my mouth tasted disgusting. I had run off the road on the north side of the crossing and the meandering wheel marks on the saltflats had left no corresponding impression on my memory.
Rain was falling in a fine drizzle. My right shoulder was wet. The line of dwarf yellow cypress pines along Blobell's Hill was smudged by dull grey cloud and nothing else in the landscape was distinct except the particularly clear sound of a crow above the saltpans flying north towards O'Hagen's. It sounded like barbed wire.
My whole body was stiff and sore but my hands, still clamped around the wheel, were stiffer and sorer than any other part of me. The skin on my palms was torn and blistered from the axe work and had dried hard. My knuckles were bruised and broken. I felt everything that was wrong with my character in those two painful hands – the palms and knuckles always in opposition to each other.
My mouth was parched dry. My head ached. I regretted hitting the small-eared boy. I regretted wishing to put my head between Mrs O'Hagen's legs. I regretted that my actions confused people. I regretted being a big mouth, a bullshitter and a bully.
I was thirty-three years old. I turned the rear-vision mirror so that I could see my face. It teetered on the point of being old. One morning, I knew, I would look into a mirror and see rotting teeth and clouded eyes, battles not won, lies not believed.
It was then I decided to marry Phoebe.
It came to me quite simply, on the saltpans south of Balliang East. I would marry Phoebe, build the aeroplanes at Barwon Aeros, be a friend to Jack, a son to Molly.
When I stepped from the Ford I found the distance between the running board and the ground unexpectedly short. I stumbled and, stepping back, found the T Model up to its axles in the salt-crusted mud.