She kept lashing out at him. She knew her words and accusations were upsetting him, but she didn’t know how else to hold her ground. But in the end, it left her feeling guilty and as irritated at herself as he appeared to be with her. And the whole time, all she really wanted was to be touched and held and comforted. She was afraid of this world and craved comfort, but in her fear, every last barrier she’d learned to carry through life was in place.
“Did you love me?” The question was loaded, and she knew, though she also knew it was wrong, that she was going to hurt him with her response. It was as if she was powerless to be decent to this man in her frustration.
“Of course. You already know that.”
“It’s just too bad I don’t love you in return, isn’t it?” Her words were utterly cruel, just as she’d meant them to be, but she knew deep down it wasn’t warranted.
He said nothing as he regarded her with a clenched jaw before he moved away from her body to the side of the pool and then pulled himself out of the water. He didn’t look back once as he snatched up his trousers from the floor, pulled them on in one smooth move before grabbing his remaining clothes and walking from the room. His tie was left abandoned on the floor in his fury, and as she climbed naked from the pool, she put her robe on and grabbed the tie.
Her behavior was making her miserable. She didn’t want to hold him responsible for her unhappiness and unease in this new life, but she did. She hated that her life was attached to a man who felt like a stranger. Her memories of him were fleeting, and she had no frame of reference to hold them to aside from what she’d been told.
She didn’t disbelieve what she’d been told of their past, but it was hard to wrap her head around, and in her confusion, she was lashing out at him … and oddly, this strong and intimidating man was allowing it. She was making him as miserable as she was, and while he wasn’t hiding his own anger at her, he was giving her far more patience than she deserved.
She walked down the few flights to their floor, and when she entered, he was sitting at his desk, working on a laptop. He was still shirtless and barely looked up to her as she entered. He looked angry, and as intimidating as he could be, she was fully responsible for this mood. She approached, and as she set his tie on the desk, he grabbed it and wrapped it swiftly around her wrist twice before she could respond. He pulled her harshly and swiftly down and forward across the desk to him. His eyes were terrifying, and his nostrils were flared as he drilled into her brain with his piercing gaze. She gasped, and her mouth dropped open at his harsh actions.
“Eternity’s going to be real fucking miserable if you continue to behave this way. I’ve tried to go slow. I’ve tried to be patient. I’ve tried to be kind, even though this is killing me. You’ve never been a cruel person, Ember, and I can’t imagine what you think you’ll gain from it. If you want to be cold and mean then you’ll get nothing better from me in response. You depend on me to survive, but I won’t tolerate this behavior from anyone, not even you. You’ll get no more kindness from me until you’re ready to give it. If you’re hungry, you better learn to ask nicely because I won’t be offering. You can keep torturing us both if you choose, but I can make you just as miserable as you are making me.”
His eyes didn’t leave Ember’s while he spoke, and they were flashing in fury. His tone was seething with hatred and anger. She couldn’t possibly have expected anything less. She’d been just as cruel as he’d accused her of being, and he’d had enough. He was turning his back on her and forcing her to beg him for her needs. She deserved it.
The moment he released his grip on the tie and pulled it from her wrist, she stood and froze in front of him. Her eyes bulged in shock and fear. He continued to hold her gaze with his furious one before she finally slinked away to the bedroom. She lay down and tried to sleep. It was early morning and the drapes had been drawn, but she no longer required sleep. She could sleep, and Dr. Bremmer had explained that while it wasn’t necessary, she could sleep just as a human could. The problem was, she couldn’t rely on the exhaustion of her body to push her into sleep, and at the moment, her brain was far too active to relax enough to find this reprieve.
Instead, Ember stared at the ceiling for hours. He didn’t enter, and she could hear him clicking away on the laptop. He didn’t sleep at all that day, and she didn’t either. She just stared endlessly, wishing her brain would either give her memories back or let her escape to sleep. Neither happened, and by that night, she hadn’t moved an inch, and she was still staring.
Chapter 17
The next days passed painfully. Truman could endure long periods of time without feeding, but she needed to feed every two or three days or her body would become painfully weak. Being forced to feed only from him would keep her dependent on feeding far more often than the typical vampire, but regardless of the need she must be feeling, she avoided him, and he waited. It wasn’t until five days after the pool that she finally sought him out. He was no less offended and hurt by her than he had been on the day in the pool. He could tell she was hungry—more than hungry. Her pallor had been paling for the past two days, and he’d watched, knowing she would have to cave in. She was weak, and her feet shuffled rather than walked. Her lips looked dry and rough, and even in his anger at her, he wanted to take care of her.
He had spent endless days simply going out of his way to avoid her, but when she finally approached, staggering a bit in her thirst and weakness, he was oddly relieved. As though he still needed her near though she had so cruelly broken his heart, and he was still so incredibly hurt and angry.
“I’m thirsty.” Her voice was as weak as her body, and her eyes looked barely open.
“Kneel.” What his body wanted and what his words were saying were two entirely different things. He wanted her in his lap. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to fill her body with himself while she drank from him, but he was too damn hurt.
“What? On the floor?” Even in her near delirium, he could tell she was hurt by his order, and he felt a surge of power and dominance he wanted to exert over her. He was a man after all, and he wanted her to know his pain and that it wouldn’t go unchecked.
“Unless you’d like to go another five days without feeding.” He refused to look at her, but he didn’t need to see her face to know she was hurt, and it was satisfying in a very pathetically human way. He continued to study his work and pay her no attention for many long moments, and his heart thudded in its victory. She reached out to his desk to support her weakened body, and he allowed his gaze to shift over to her hand for a moment before moving back to his work dismissively.
She eventually sank to her knees beside his chair, and without a word, he dropped his hand down to his side. His cuff was buttoned, and as she fumbled with the button, struggling to undo it as her fingers slipped and shook, he continued to ignore her. When she finally managed to get his sleeve pushed up, she was gasping, and he could smell the scent of her tears. She lifted his wrist to her mouth and bit, sending pain up his arm, and as she sucked, he fought to concentrate on anything but her mouth. It was painful hurting her, but he was in so much pain himself, he was powerless to stop.
As the suction of her mouth lessened and her draws slowed, he finally forced himself to glance at her. Her eyes met his as well, and she was crying. Her crystalline-blue eyes twinkled with tears, and he had to stifle a moan of pain at seeing her. His anger faltered, and he was left wanting to touch her so desperately, but they just watched one another. Her beautiful lips left his skin, and she dropped his hand. Her hands were still shaking, though it likely had far more to do with their interaction than weakness. His eyes were studying her, and she sat back on her knees, meeting his eyes and glancing away over and over and over.