She let out a shuddering breath at his words before finding her voice. “That sounds a bit … perverse.” She had a small, shy smile on her face.
“Drinking blood to sustain life is perverse. This was just … an indulgence.” And after a pause, he continued. “And a very nice indulgence at that.” She watched his eyes, and for the first time since her transition, he had real hope. Her heart was thudding loudly, and the slightest scent of her arousal filled his senses. Her lips were parted, and she was damn near panting. She was still nervous, but her guard was down, and she wasn’t looking at him as though he were her greatest enemy. “It was amazing. You knew me. I wasn’t hiding anything from you. You could ask me anything you wanted, and I could tell you everything you needed to know. I took you home to your mother’s house the next morning, and before I left, I buried your memory of me again. It was the most painful thing in the world to do.” His voice lurched as he spoke, and her eyes softened. “I had no idea I would never have the chance to unlock that memory for you again. I always intended to someday, but for you to have lost that…” He was shaking his head and fighting his emotions. He clenched his jaw to stifle it. “I’m so sorry.”
She was still watching, and as he struggled with the utter sadness that this most favorite memory of his might be lost to her forever, she reached out to him and stroked his cheek. It was just one short, gentle stroke, and her hand was gone far too soon, but it was her touch. She gave it willingly, and he soaked it up.
He reached for her waist, and she allowed him to pull her shirt up and over her head. She was braless, and his breath left him in a rush as he took in the beautiful swell of her breasts. “Stand.” She didn’t hesitate a moment, and as she stood, he undid the button of her jeans, lowered the zipper, and then pulled her pants down her hips, letting them drop at her ankles. He left her underwear in place, and as she crawled up onto the bed and under the covers, he watched her incredible ass move under the skimpy fabric. His cock was ready to slap him for not being more aggressive in his efforts, but his heart needed her trust first. He rose to close the drapes before the morning light was fully up. He climbed into the bed beside her, and within a moment, she’d moved close to him, and he’d pulled her into his arms.
“What if I can never remember us?” She broke the silence and stilled him.
“Then I guess we’ll have to fall in love all over again.”
“How can you be so sure that’s possible?”
“Because we’re so fucking good at it.”
She snuggled down into his chest, and they drifted to sleep.
When Ember woke, he was still lying beside her. He was asleep, and the covers had fallen from his body. She rolled to her side, propping herself up on her elbow, and studied him. His legs were strong and lean, his hip bones protruded just slightly, and she nearly reached to trace the shape of them before stopping herself. His testicles were large and so very masculine. His penis was larger than any she’d ever seen, and it was frightening in many ways. But then she’d already welcomed him into her body, and from the sounds of it, enjoyed it immensely. It wasn’t as if she was a virgin; she just unfortunately couldn’t recall what sex had been like with him.
He was stunning—every last inch of him, and when her gaze stopped at his lips, she imagined his words from the morning before. Had his mouth actually done so much to her body? Were she still human, it would bring a blush to her cheeks to think of it. He tasted her blood after he took her virginity, and just the idea sent stabs of pain through her jaw again. And as she imagined it, a memory flashed. In this memory, he was on top of her, fucking and pushing into her body. His face was incredible as it watched her closely through every swift thrust of his body, and she gasped at the imagery that was floating in her mind.
When she looked to his eyes to take in his face and reconcile it with the memory in her head, she froze. His eyes were open and on her. He was watching, and as she gasped again, she sat quickly. He grabbed her arm, and as he did, he sat up beside her. He reached for her cheek and stroked the skin lightly, and a shudder ran through her body, leaving warmth in its wake. God, he was stunning.
“Ready for the rest of our tour?” She wasn’t sure what that entailed, but she nodded her head. He climbed from the bed and walked from the room. His backside was as impressive as his front side. His bottom was strong and round. His skin was smooth and beautiful, and she wondered again how it was a man like him, who must attract the dead and undead alike in droves, had found so much interest in her.
She showered and changed, pulling her hair back in a high, messy bun before setting out in search of him. He was on his phone out on the deck, and as she approached the door, she heard him speaking.
“Well how long has it been since anyone’s had eyes on him?” And a pause while the caller responded. “Jesus, Angus, he could be anywhere. Is there any reason to think he knows where we are?” Ember could only assume they were referring to Mason, and the irritation flashing in Truman’s voice spoke volumes. “Just keep me posted.” And as Ember kept listening, the conversation shifted. “Yeah, we’re fine. She seems … okay. I guess. She’s just not my Ember. I can’t explain it in any other way.” Ember’s heart fell at his words, and she had to slink back to the bathroom, to avoid being caught with tears in her eyes. She turned on the faucet and sniffled her way through the words she’d heard.
It hurt to hear him say it, as though he were breaking her heart. But it was she who had broken his heart. She wanted to be his Ember. She was drawn to him, and every last memory that flitted through her mind increased that draw tenfold. She didn’t know how to act around him or how to show him she wanted to be his Ember because she didn’t know how to be her. What if she could never be his Ember for him again? Could she lose the only person in the world who cared about her?
After flushing her face with cold water to clear the splotchiness that even the dead get from crying, she looked herself over once quickly and sucked it up. She had to figure out how to let her guard down with this man before she pushed him away completely. She didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t know why she so passionately felt this way, but she did. It was as if the emotion she used to feel for him was operating without the memories to support it. She felt devastated by his words as though she was about to lose the most important person in her life, and yet, she didn’t actually know the person. It was confusing, but she trusted this instinct. It came from some deeply hidden part of her mind that was attached to the old her, and she had to trust the old her; it was time she put some faith in the person she used to be, trust her judgment, and live the life she wanted to live.
He was still on the deck, and he was staring off at the setting sun over the lake. He looked troubled and concerned, and as she approached, he offered her a gentle but hesitant smile. She smiled back, and she listened as the slow beat of his heart sped for a moment.
When they were on the road again, he headed for Portland as she suspected he would. It was time to review their recent history together. It was odd to think of really. These events in their relationship had happened in the so near past, yet there were gaps and holes in even this time—more so, in fact, than any other time in their history. He’d been a huge part of her life this summer. When he took those memories, it left gaps of days; entire weeks seemed a blur, and events were so very skewed.
“What do you miss most about being human?” His question interrupted the silence, pulling her from her thoughts.