Today, floating amongst the fish heads was a cube of potato and some shredded cabbage. ‘Oh, look!’ I lifted the evidence with my spoon.
Stefan hunted around with his spoon. ‘I’ve got a few noodles and a dead beetle. I bet Smirnov and Ivanov don’t eat this guvno – shit.’ He finished first and stared at his empty bowl, still hungry.
‘You should’ve eaten the beetle.’ I was hungry too. ‘Try not to think about it, because I have plans for today. I will take you somewhere special.’
He half laughed, ‘What here, in Satan’s playground?’
‘Wait and see.’
Smelling like herrings, we stepped out into the face-slapping cold and I led him down towards the river.
‘We’re not going to the Club?’ he put his arm around my shoulders, and I put both of mine around his waist, my head resting against his chest as we kept walking.
‘No – you’ll never guess.’
‘To work, then? I take this route every morning.’
‘Not to work.’ I smiled to myself; this would be such a surprise.
We left the shacks of Vodopad far behind, and Stefan said, ‘Someone told me there’s a trail through the Kenga forests. If you keep going, it takes you to the railway line, well south of Kholmogorki, and you can jump on a freight train. Imagine, Marishu – we could escape, and no one would see us. We’d be on our way before they found out. We have to find it.’
‘Are you serious?’
He stopped walking, but his gaze was earnest. ‘Would I joke about something like that? Think about it. Once we’re free, we can make our way back to Poland and alert the authorities to what’s happening here. It’s the only way we can help free our families and all these other people here. We are their only hope.’
‘But Stefan, there are no Polish authorities left in Eastern Poland; Stalin’s invaded it. Tatta told me that Hitler bombed Warsaw, so they’ve carved up the country between themselves.’
‘We head further west, then.’
‘And live on what? It’s impossible; we’re trapped here forever.’
‘No, look, if we can just reach the railroad and jump a train, we’ll be in Moscow in no time. There will be plenty of food down there. It’s a city. I can trade my watch to get us by.’
I was unsure. We had no money; no food and I was reluctant to leave my family. ‘A trail, you say? I never found one when I got lost. I have never felt so terrified, Stefan, I thought the bears would get me.’
‘What on earth were you doing in the forest?’
‘Looking for Lodzia. She was going to the kolkhoz to buy food, but she bumped into Natasha, and she told her not to bother; there wasn’t any. So, while I was risking my life searching for her, she was sitting at Natasha’s drinking tea. She doesn’t know what happened to me, and my parents still don’t know the truth of it. And you must never tell them.’
He stopped walking, stared at me. ‘So how did you get out?’
‘I’ve no idea, but that’s why I’ve brought you here; I want you to meet my friends: Vasily, Boris and Roza. I collapsed outside their door and they saved me. I’d be dead now if it wasn’t for them.’
‘Collapsed? Marishu, promise me you will never, ever venture into a forest if you don’t know your way out of the other side.’
‘Oh, don’t worry. I promise.’
‘Marisha!’ Vasily threw open the door. ‘You’re not still looking for your sister-in-law? Come in, come in. Let me fetch Boris and Roza. It’s a rare day we get visitors, I can tell you.’ He hobbled off to the next shack and hobbled back. ‘Is this your fellow?’
Vasily made tea. Boris and Roza arrived soon after. I smiled at Stefan when they fussed around, insisting we sit on the only two comfortable chairs in the room. They wobbled, but the feather-stuffed cushions were luxury.
Studying Stefan, Roza said, ‘I approve of your fellow.’ Then after a momentary silence added, ‘Is your brother still seeing Natasha?’
It surprised me. ‘I didn’t know you knew Karol.’ I noticed the looks Roza exchanged with Boris and Vasily. ‘Why, what is it? Why shouldn’t Karol see her? They love each other.’
They said no more. ‘Please, is there something I should know?’
Vasily drew a lengthy breath, ‘It’s like this, Marishu – Natasha – well, they betrothed Natasha to another.’
Was he serious? ‘So why is she never with him? Who is he?’
‘He’s the boatman who brings supplies upriver from the magazine in Permilovo. His family live in Vologda.’ Boris tapped the side of his nose. ‘Between you and me; I think it’s the mother’s doing; She makes sure they get extra rations.’
‘And she intends to marry him!’ I went cold. ‘Who else knows about this?’
Boris shrugged. ‘Well, all the Ukrainians; everyone who knows Natasha; there are no secrets in this place.’
‘Does that include Vice Kommendant Smirnov?’ I remembered he made some comment about Karol when he bullied us into going to the club at that time.
‘Of course, Smirnov would know,’ Roza said, ‘Smirnov knows everyone’s business in this camp; it’s his job to know.’
‘And when’s the wedding, or haven’t they set a date?’
Roza said, ‘Well, we Ukrainians will have served our sentences soon. Then we will be free to stay or move away. Vasily, Boris and I will live out our days here, as will many others. You see, we have nowhere else to go, the Soviets confiscated our land, but Natasha has the chance of moving to Vologda to live with his family. She will have the chance of real freedom.’
Vasily said, ‘Her fiancé isn’t a prisoner like us. Someone in his family has clout. So, we think he might wangle it for her to move out sooner if she wants. Her mother is keen they marry, so she can go with them, and who can blame her?’
I cast my mind back to the day we arrived when Natasha admitted to cannibalism. She also mentioned something about getting out of this place, only if she married someone outside the camp. How I wished I’d asked more questions. ‘Please,’ I said, getting up, ‘could you not mention this to any of the Polish community? It would destroy my brother, and it might not come to anything; you see, Natasha adores him.’
Having said our goodbyes and promising to visit again, we waved and continued back to Vodopad.
‘Stefan, you must promise me not to mention a word of this to anyone. Promise.’
He raised his hands. ‘Nothing to do with me.’
19
‘Spring’s on its way; the river ice is melting.’
Stefan and I had reached the meander in the Vaymuga and watched its moving centre flowing more swiftly and carrying pancakes of ice along with it. The banks, which froze overnight, were becoming slushy on sunnier days, heralding the end of the crippling winter that took so many lives.
We sauntered alongside the riverbank, as we always did on Sundays, but hadn’t returned to see Vasily, Boris and Roza since the day they’d let slip the shattering news about Natasha and the boatman.
Stefan didn’t seem bothered about the weather; he was interested in finding this trail through the Kenga forests. The trouble was, in whichever direction we struck out, rivers and tributaries got in our way. My atlas showed the deltas, estuaries, major rivers and their tributaries, but no secondary branches, even though they were of significant size.
In our private moments, when we discussed our escape route, he was against heading north-west to Kholmogorki. It was where we had arrived and was too open, with too many NKVD on patrol. He favoured following the Vaymuga south, then picking up the railway line at Samoded-Permilovo, but the Kenga River flowed into it from the north – and there was no bridge over either of them. ‘We could always swim across,’ he joked.