I glanced over at him, noting that he was wearing different clothes.
I quickly looked back at the magazine, refusing to let him know that I’d been waiting anxiously for him to return. I’d worried something bad had happened to him, but after three unanswered texts I’d stopped bugging him—knowing that if he’d been hurt Maddox and Emma wouldn’t have kept me out of the loop.
“Did you have a good night?” I asked.
He stepped into the kitchen, dropping his keys and wallet on the countertop. “Not in the way you’re implying.”
“I wasn’t implying anything.” I shoveled a mouthful of Cheerios into my mouth.
He propped his elbows on the counter and stared down at me with those intense dark eyes. “Yes, you were.”
I shrugged. “You were gone all night. What you did isn’t any of my business.”
And it wasn’t.
I didn’t care either.
That was a lie. I did care, even though I shouldn’t.
My feelings seemed to be swirling in a whirlpool and I couldn’t make sense of them. I’d always liked Ezra and there’d been attraction mixed into that, but I’d never planned to act on it. This jealousy I felt at the possibility that he spent the night with a woman was ridiculous. I’d not only just ended my engagement, but I’d also agreed to go on a date with Hayes, so I shouldn’t have been thinking of Ezra in that way at all.
I was also wondering if I’d agreed to go on a date with Hayes too soon after breaking up with Braden. But when was the right time to move on? Did I have to live my life on some invisible timeline that was respectable to what people found appropriate? I didn’t want to spend the next six months, or year, sniveling over the end of my engagement to a man I now realized never even owned my heart. I wanted to move on and live my life the way I chose.
“Sadie, did you hear me?”
“Huh? What?” I snapped my head up, my gaze colliding with his.
“I stayed at my parent’s house.” He turned and grabbed a mug before pouring himself a cup of coffee. He leaned against the counter once more, arching his brow as he waited for a response from me.
“Did you not come home because of me?” I asked, swirling my spoon through the milk. Suddenly, I wasn’t very hungry anymore. “This is your house, Ezra, and I don’t want to keep you from it.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “That had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me,” he sighed.
“Is this because I told Hayes I’d go out with him?” I asked, lowering my head and staring down at the cereal like it was the most interesting thing I’d ever seen.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” He mumbled, running a hand nervously through his hair. “Things are complicated.” His jaw snapped together and he glared at the nearby window.
“How so?” I prompted.
“You’re my best fucking friend.” He slammed his palms down on the countertop. “It can’t be more than that. I told you I wouldn’t lose you, and I meant that.” He dumped out his coffee in the sink and muttered, “I’m going to shower,” before heading upstairs.
I sat dumbfounded, not knowing what to do or say.
So, I did nothing.
Several days passed, and Ezra kept his distance from me.
Boys could be so incredibly frustrating, and they thought girls were complicated creatures.
Hayes called and texted me some, but we’d yet to go on an actual date. Although, we’d made plans to go out for dinner next Friday, so it was still happening.
Now, it was the Fourth of July and everybody was headed to a party at the Wentworth’s. The Wentworth’s were a wealthy family in town, and Hayes happened to be related to them.
I rode with Ezra, but the entire car ride was filled with awkward silence.
I didn’t know how to fix this, mostly because I didn’t know what I’d done wrong in the first place.
He’d made it clear that he didn’t want a relationship with me beyond friendship, and frankly I didn’t feel that I was ready for more with anyone. I already regretted saying yes to a date with Hayes, but I hated to let him down now. Besides, one date wouldn’t hurt anything.
We arrived at the mansion and I took a deep breath. Things had changed a lot since the last time I was here. Then, I’d been engaged and blissfully ignorant.
Ezra got out of his car and I was forced to follow, more awkward silence descending upon us.
Normally, it was a comfortable silence between us, now it felt like he was building an invisible wall between us to block me out.
I followed him to the backyard. Although, calling it a yard seemed an injustice. The space was expansive with a beautiful pool and the greenest grass I’d ever seen. There were several cabanas set up so that you could escape the boiling hot July sun and servers walked around with trays of food and drinks.
A gust of wind blew by and my skirt billowed around my legs.
“Hey, you guys are here!” Hayes waved from a nearby cabana. He stood up and grabbed two beers from a cooler before jogging over to join us. He only wore a pair of navy board shorts slung low on his lean hips. His chest and arms were sculpted and on the start of one arm was a half-sleeve tattoo. Dark sunglasses covered his eyes, but nothing could hide his blinding smile. I felt bad that his smile did nothing to me, but it wasn’t…I refused to finish the thought.
Hayes held out a beer to Ezra and then me, the caps already popped.
“Thanks,” I said, taking it. It wasn’t my favorite beer, but it was the thought that counted, right? Although, the way Ezra glared at the drink in my hand I knew he believed differently.
“I’m okay,” Ezra replied, waving away the beer, “maybe later.”
Hayes shrugged, unfazed by Ezra’s dismissal.
“I’m going to see Maddox.” Ezra pointed and strode off, leaving me alone with his band’s guitar player.
I forced a smile for Hayes and tried to give him my attention, but my gaze kept drifting in the direction of Ezra.
“How have you been?” He asked, lifting his beer to his lips.
“Uh…good,” I replied, shielding my eyes from the sun. “Busy with the store.”
“’Course,” he nodded. “Fuck,” he rubbed his forehead, “it’s blazing hot out here. I’m getting back in the pool. You want to?” He tossed a thumb over his shoulder at the crystal blue water.
“Sure.” I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.
I’d worn my bikini underneath my skirt and tank top so I followed Hayes to the cabana he’d commandeered and stripped them off. My bikini top was bright orange, flowing down in a triangle cut. The bottoms were orange and blue zig zags that tied at the sides.
Hayes’ cousin, Trace, occupied one of the lounge chairs with his baby son sitting in his lap. The baby—who was probably old enough to walk now—was dressed in a pair of pale blue plaid swim trunks with oversized red sunglasses perched on his tiny nose. The baby blew bubbles, spit dripping down his lips and onto his chubby stomach. Trace chuckled and kissed the baby’s cheek before looking up at me.
“Sadie, right?” He asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
I hadn’t seen Trace Wentworth since the disaster last New Year’s. He had been absent from the ballroom when Ezra and Braden got into a fight, but he’d caught Braden and me in a hallway on his way back from putting his son to bed. Braden had been shouting at me, making everything out to be my fault, and I’d stood there, mute, as I took his verbal assault. Trace interrupted, cutting Braden down with quick, sharp words. Braden didn’t yell at me again that night—he still bitched though.
“How have you been?” He asked. “Where’s…?” He paused, waiting for me to fill in the blanks.
“Sleeping with someone else,” I replied, not batting an eye. I didn’t even care anymore.
Trace winced. “Sorry?”
“You said that like a question.” My lips quirked into a half smile as I folded my skirt and top to tuck into my bag.