The chance of him laughing in my face, however, was a high percentage.
I blamed Remy for this idea.
Yep, it was all her fault.
She’d planted the seed in my brain and now I couldn’t get this festering thought out of my head and I had to act on it.
I had to do something.
Because tiptoeing around this was impossible.
I pressed my ear against my bedroom door, listening intently like a nosy teenager eavesdropping on a conversation. I waited until I heard the kitchen chair scrape against the hardwood floors before darting down the stairs.
I had to do this fast before I lost the courage.
Ezra looked up when he heard me, the burger he’d grilled halfway to his mouth and another sitting on a plate in front of him waiting for me.
Before he could say anything the words tumbled out of my mouth.
“I have a proposition for you.”
His brows quirked and he set the burger down without taking a bite. He motioned to the empty chair in front of him and I quickly sat.
He folded his fingers together and stared at me with that intense dark gaze that always sent me reeling.
“You haven’t spoken one word to me in a week, and the first thing you say to me is that you have a proposition for me…I’m really looking forward to hearing this.” He tipped the chair back so that the front two legs came off the ground.
While I tried to gather myself he continued to stare at me, his fingers stroking the heavy stubble on his face.
I laid my palms flat on the cool surface of the table and took a deep breath.
You’ve got this, Sadie! I tried to pep talk myself, but it wasn’t working.
“I want you to fuck me.” Shit. That hadn’t been how I was planning to lead into this. I quickly added, “Just sex. That’s it. Not a relationship. You don’t want to lose our friendship, and I don’t either, but we have a mutual attraction and I don’t think we should fight it. I’m proposing that while I live here—which I promise to be out in the next two months or so—we should have sex.”
The chair clamored back to the floor and his mouth hung open.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I squirmed, “I’m not crazy. This is a rational idea. We’re adults. We can have sex without it complicating things.”
“So…” He started, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what I’d said. “You want us to be friends…with benefits.” His lips twitched with laughter.
I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin defiantly. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“You’re serious?” He sobered, his expression back to shock.
“Very serious.”
He looked at me carefully, like he was searching for any sign that I might be lying.
“Sadie—”
“Don’t say no yet,” I pleaded, “and don’t say yes either. Just…just think about it. Please?”
He breathed in shakily. “Okay.”
I was surprised he agreed to that so readily. I expected him to slam me with a firm no and tell me there was no way he would ever sleep with me.
I wanted so much more from him than sex, but I knew he would never cross that particular line with me.
But sex, he might.
Sex did not a relationship make.
Four days passed and neither one of us peeped a word about my proposal. I was too embarrassed to bring it up, and I guessed he’d been counting on that.
I turned on the TV switching it to Hallmark and sat down to watch whatever sappy movie they were playing. I needed a good cry and a bowl of cookie dough ice cream—which reminded me Ezra had mentioned picking some up at the grocery store. Well, actually his groceries were delivered so he could avoid getting mobbed at the store, but logistics.
I didn’t bother with a bowl. I grabbed the gallon carton of ice cream, a spoon, and made my way to the couch. Despite the fact that it was eighty degrees or more outside I was dressed in sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and had a blanket wrapped around me like a burrito.
I needed comfort in my time of sorrow and warmth brought me that.
Although, I was positive Ezra’s warm body wrapped around mine would bring me a lot of comfort.
Fuck.
I had to stop thinking about him like that.
It was never going to happen and it only made me depressed thinking about it.
Especially, after that kiss.
Oh, sweet Lord, that kiss.
It had been everything dreams were made of.
It was downright magical.
I’d felt it all the way down to the tips of my toes.
And even now, almost two weeks later, my lips still tingled from the bruising pressure of his possessive mouth.
I shoveled a mouthful of ice cream between my lips and focused my eyes on the TV screen.
No more thoughts about Ezra.
Which should be easy, since he wasn’t home. So it wasn’t like he was sitting around tempting me or anything.
But I was always tempted when it came to him.
My God I wanted to lick him all over like I was currently going after this ice cream.
I had problems.
I put the ice cream away. It was making things worse.
I burrowed into the couch once more and this time I did manage to get sucked into the movie. It also made me cry, so bonus points for that.
It ended and another one came on. I lay down with my head on a pillow and tried to keep my eyes open.
As a teenager I’d been wild.
As an adult, this was as exciting as my Saturday’s got.
I was pathetic.
I needed more excitement in my life than sitting around watching Hallmark movies.
I startled from my thoughts when the front door opened.
“Hey,” Ezra said in greeting, his back to me as he closed the door.
“Hi.” I squeaked. Yes, squeaked like a mouse.
He set the case he kept his bass in beside the door. The guys were already working on their new album as much as they could, but things were slow since their personal lives kept complicating things.
“What are you watching?” He came around from behind the couch and lifted my legs before sitting down and placing them in his lap.
“I have no idea,” I answered honestly.
He tapped his fingers against my leg and focused on the TV.
“Are you seriously going to watch a girly movie with me?” I glanced away from the TV at him, raising a brow.
His gaze swiveled in my direction. “Sure, why not?” He shrugged. “I don’t have anything else to do.”
“Okaaaay, then.” I drew out the word, looking at him like he’d grown another head.
“Hey, I can watch a chick movie and not shrivel up and die.” He defended, scrunching up his face to appear mad.
I tried to hide my smile but it was impossible.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“I would never laugh at you,” I scoffed.
“You definitely are.”
Before I could respond he pounced on me. Giggles burst forth from me when he tickled my stomach.
“Stop! Stop!” I pleaded between bouts of laughter.
“You have to promise never to laugh at me ever again.” He grinned, moving to my side where I was even more ticklish.
“I promise!” I cried. “Please stop tickling me!”
Miraculously his assault ceased. We were both panting and out of breath, although I had no idea why he was so breathless.
His hands moved down from my sides, over my hips, and stopped at my thighs.
My throat closed up as his thumb rubbed slow circles against my thigh.
His chocolate colored eyes darkened even more.
My heart sped up and I struggled to find my voice. “What are you doing?” I finally asked.
His tongue flicked out to moisten his lips and his eyes remained steady on mine.
“Accepting your proposition.”’
My body clenched all over and I ceased breathing. “What?” Surely I didn’t hear him right.