I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me, still swaying my hips to the beat of the song. “Don’t think.”
He swallowed thickly and his eyes dilated.
I turned back around and lowered my body, rolling my hips against his groin. His hands that had been lying flat on his knees curled into fists. I smiled in satisfaction.
I moved against him as sensually as I could and my hands skimmed underneath my shirt, exposing my stomach.
“Sadie,” he growled, grabbing my hips and pulling me more fully against his growing erection.
I removed his hands and turned around to scold him. “Nuh-uh,” I wagged a finger in front of his face, “you can look, but you can’t touch.”
He swallowed thickly and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.
I laid my hands on his thighs and bent forward so my chest was right in his line of sight—thank God for push up bras—and then moved my hands up his legs, over his stomach, and settled on his chest. His heart thundered madly beneath my palm, like it was racing to escape the confines of his chest. I leaned in and skimmed my lips down his neck and he gasped.
“I thought you said no touching.”
“I said you couldn’t touch. I never said anything about me.”
He looked tortured.
I turned back around and practically sat in his lap. I lifted my arms behind me and wrapped them around his neck. All the while I kept moving my body along to the fast pace of the song. I could feel how turned on he was and it made it all worth it. Hell, even I was getting turned on. Bless the poor souls watching us.
The chemistry between us burned brighter than the hottest star.
“That’s enough.” Emma said and the music cut off.
I moved my hips for a few more seconds before standing and moving back to my chair. I crossed my legs, trying to relieve some of the ache in my center, but unfortunately it wasn’t going anywhere.
“Satisfied?” I asked Emma, tilting my head to the side.
She stood with her hands on her hips. “I’ll be satisfied when you two finally admit that you’re more than friends. I know you think it’s not obvious, but it most definitely is,” she fumed.
I shrugged innocently. “It was just a lap dance.”
She groaned and sat down, muttering, “You’re driving me nuts.”
Something about her words made me snap. I stood up this time and leered across the burning fire at her. I probably looked menacing but I didn’t care.
“Forget a fucking dare,” I seethed, spitting the words between my teeth, “I want the truth…why are you so obsessed with my love life? The last time I checked it was none of your business!” The last words were pretty much a lie, yeah my love life wasn’t her business but in the past I’d never kept those things a secret from her.
Her face crumbled and I instantly felt like a piece of shit. “I just want you to be happy,” she cried. Legit cried. I made my best friend cry and I felt ashamed of the tear that rolled down her cheek. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. To be happy. Is that such a bad thing?” She sniffled. She wiped at her face and groaned. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m sorry.” She dashed into the house, running away from me as fast as she could.
Upon her exit I was met with silence.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, even though she wasn’t there to hear it.
Ezra stood and wrapped an arm around me. He was always there to comfort me when I made a mess of things. I loved him for that.
Maddox stood too and cleared his throat. “She’s been really emotional lately…I think it’s the wedding. I’m going to go check on her. ‘Night.”
Without a backwards glance he was gone and I felt even worse.
“I feel awful,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to yell at her.”
“It’s okay.” Ezra kissed my forehead.
The others sat watching us. “No, it’s not.” I pushed myself away from him. I glanced at all of them before my eyes landed on Ezra.
I kept pushing away the people I cared about the most, and what for?
Fear.
I pushed Ezra away, because I was scared of what Braden thought.
Look at how that turned out.
And now I was pushing Emma away because I was scared of what she’d think if she found out the truth.
Fear was a crippling emotion and I hated it. I hated what it was doing to me. I was becoming a monster. I kept hurting the people I cared about the most and that wasn’t okay.
“Sadie,” Ezra pleaded, reaching for me.
I startled at the worry in his eyes and realized that now I was crying.
I wiped my tears away on the back of my hands and held my chin high. “I’m going to bed.”
No one protested when I left.
I couldn’t blame them. I wouldn’t have stopped me either.
I headed upstairs to my room and took a quick shower. I put on my pajamas and set out my clothes for tomorrow—packing up everything else.
I climbed into bed and willed myself to go to sleep, but not even the soothing lull of the ocean could put me to sleep tonight.
I heard my bedroom door creak open and my body stiffened when a sliver of light poured across the bed before disappearing.
“Go away.” I said the words with as much venom as I could muster.
The bed dipped and his warm body slid in behind me. His strong arms wrapped around me and I was too weak to fight him.
“No,” he growled angrily in response to what I’d said, “you can yell, and cry, and try to push me away, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you, always. You’re my best friend, Sadie, and when your heart hurts so does mine.”
I rolled over so that I was facing him and curled my body into his. My fingers fisted his shirt and I burrowed my head into the crook of his neck.
“You’re too good to me.” I cried into his chest.
He smoothed his fingers through my hair. “No I’m not.” He brushed his lips against my forehead. “A good friend wouldn’t have used you the way I have.”
“You didn’t take anything I wasn’t willing to give.”
“Exactly. That makes me even more of an asshole.”
“Do you think we can just forget both of our assholish ways for tonight?”
He chuckled, his laughter rumbling against my ear. “We can do that.”
A minute passed. “And Ezra?”
“Yeah?”
“Please, don’t let go of me,” I begged, my hold on his shirt tightening.
“Never, sweetheart.”
I woke up a little after five in the morning.
Ezra was still wrapped around me, his dark hair tousled over his forehead, and his lips parted with sleep.
I sat up, my hair sweeping over my shoulder. I smiled at the sight of him sleeping so peacefully in my bed.
I couldn’t seem to stop myself as I reached out and traced my finger over the contours of his mouth. He was entirely too perfect.
I was too restless to stay in bed so I slipped out of his arms and padded out of the room.
The house was silent and I knew it would be hours before the others began stirring since our flight didn’t leave until eleven—and since we’d flown in on the record company’s private jet that was reserved for Willow Creek’s use, we didn’t have to worry about being at the airport crazy early to get through security.
I opened the refrigerator and blinked rapidly at the sudden brightness. Once my eyes had adjusted I reached inside and grabbed a bottle of water.
I sat down at the kitchen table and looked out the window at the darkened ocean as I sipped at my water.
I tried my best to silence my mind and it must’ve worked, because I didn’t notice when Ezra came into the room.
“Are you okay?”
I jumped at the sound of his voice and looked over my shoulder to see him standing there adorably rumpled in his pajamas with his round Harry Potter looking glasses perched on his nose.