If I was a different girl, in a different world, I could totally flirt with his position. Situate myself between his thick, muscled thighs, rest my hands against his tight pecs. I wonder if there’s a girl out there with his heart. He has an abundance of sweetness and charm, and I want that for him. He deserves to have a good woman who’ll look out for him.
When I finally perch against the edge of my seat, Trey says, “You look so tired,” in the gentlest voice I’ve ever heard. Tears prick the corners of my eyes. If I was foolish enough, I’d think he really cared.
“I’m okay,” I lie. I’m not even close. Especially not after this morning.
“Talk to me. What’s up?”
I blow out a deep breath. “Okay, so I promise I wasn’t doing anything I shouldn’t have been. I just need to know the truth.” My gaze drops to study Trey’s black and white Nike’s while I await his answer.
“So…what do you need to know?” When he speaks, my eyes flicker to meet his, and I’m mildly surprised to see a hint of suspicion there, along with concern. Oh crap, this isn’t going to be good.
“Well, Jacoby and I haven’t really been on speaking terms in a while.” Trey nods without losing eye contact, so I take a deep breath and continue. “Um, I really wanted to talk to him. We kind of left things…uncertain.” Shit, why does this have to be so hard? Why does it feel like the room is shrinking, and I’m sweating even though I’m in jeans and a light hoodie?
I cough to clear my suddenly parched throat.
“It’s okay. You can talk to me. Don’t be nervous, just tell me what happened so I can help you.”
Seriously, I really, really hope he has a good woman, because he’s a really, really nice guy.
I nod and lace my fingers together to keep from fidgeting. Otherwise I’m going to tear the paper in my hands to shreds. “Okay, so this morning I wanted to talk to him, so I drove over to his place. And when I pulled up, this tall, blonde woman was getting into her car. I don’t think she saw me, because she just drove away, but I’m positive she came from his house. Anyway, I went to the door to see if he was home, even though it really sucked to see another woman leaving his place.”
My fingers tremble as I wipe away the wetness gathering in the corner of my eye.
“So, I open the screen door to knock, and this paper falls to the ground. I’m stupid and shouldn’t have looked at it, but really, what would you do?” I finish, my voice shaking on the last few words. I’d give anything to feel unaffected if he’s seeing somebody else, but give me a break, it freaking hurts.
“Can I see the note?” Trey asks gently as he moves to stand in front of me. I don’t answer; instead I lift the paper between us. Trey grasps the note between his thumb and pointer finger, but instead of taking it, he gives it a gentle shake to get my attention. My wet gaze finds his soft one, and I let out a small hiccup.
“Honey, listen to me. I’m going to read this, see if I can get the gist of what’s going on, but you do not need to cry. I know Jacoby, and that man is crazy over you. This is all going to work out, okay?”
If he saw the model-esque blonde leaving Jacoby’s this morning, I seriously doubt he’d be saying this to me. But what do I know? They’ve been friends a lot longer than I’ve been in this screwy picture. Nodding my head, I release the paper and turn slightly in my chair to study the blank wall while chewing on my thumbnail.
When had I let my life get more complicated? I swore to myself after the drama from last year I would keep my head down and finish school quietly. I wanted nothing more than to get my degree and save enough money to leave this town. I feel like I failed myself. It’s not like I had set ridiculously high goals for myself, but by allowing Jacoby into my life, it’s like I opened Pandora’s Box.
He made me feel things I never have before and didn’t think I would until I was long gone from this town and living a normal life. My goals were always to save enough money and go to college. Make something of myself. Maybe go to nursing school or become a Paramedic. I always thought somewhere in my late twenties or early thirties I’d become serious about finding someone to settle down with. I was never deluded with images of prince charming or soulmates. I just wanted someone who made me laugh and made me happy. Sure, he’d have flaws, but as long as he loved me, I’d be doing okay.
But even the greatest of cynics can’t deny there was something serendipitous about our late night encounter on the side of an empty highway. From the moment I met him, Jacoby brought out emotions in me I never knew existed. He melted the cage surrounding my heart and brought the greatest relief, even more powerful than my blade. I haven’t hurt myself in weeks. He gave me the control I craved by giving me freedom. Freedom from fear, freedom from judgment, freedom to be loved.
In doing so, even if he’s already moved on, he’s given me the freedom to fight for him. For us.
In coming here today, I knew there was a chance Trey would confirm my suspicion. But I also knew deep in my heart, I’d fight for Jacoby either way. Skinny, blonde bitch be damned.
“Fucking Melissa,” Trey swears harshly, pulling me from my thoughts of a bitch smack down.
“I’m sorry?” Who’s Melissa? The note wasn’t signed. I don’t take her familiarity as a good sign, and my hands tremble in my lap.
“This is from Melissa. She’s, uh, an ex.”
“His ex?”
Trey sighs, rubbing a hand over his short cropped brown hair. “How much do you know of Jacoby’s past?”
My cheeks flame at his question. “Um, actually not a lot. I know he’s only lived here a couple years, but I don’t know why. We haven’t talked about him much.” Now I feel stupid. What kind of person falls for a man they barely know? Right, a desperate one. At this point, I feel like I should just keep my head buried in the sand where it’s apparently been for the past two months.
“You two are a piece of work, you know that?” Trey snaps sounding exasperated. I feel myself becoming defensive at his tone, and my spine straightens.
“It’s not like we haven’t had a lot of shit going on. So instead of being a jerk, you mind filling me in on what you know so I can get to class?”
Trey shakes his head. “You know I can’t give you anything Jacoby hasn’t given you himself. I’m not that kind of friend.” I open my mouth to protest, but he holds up a large hand in my face. Suddenly, I have the urge to bite him for shoving his hand in my face. Bastard.
“Hold up, spitfire. What I can tell you is Melissa is out of her damn mind with this note. She was in the picture before you came along, and Jacoby cut her loose. You have nothing to worry about.”
“You mean to tell me she wasn’t ‘keeping his bed warm’ as she so lovingly put it the last two weeks?” I argue, dramatic air quotes and all. Sometimes, my immaturity really shines through.
Trey leans down, putting his hands on the armrests of the chair, caging me in and getting in my face. So close, I can see his bright blue eyes have turned icy. “No. I’d swear on my soul that he is d-o-n-e, done with that chick. He has been since you walked into his life, and he hasn’t even looked at another woman since.”
Whoa.
Holy shit.
“What am I doing, Trey,” I whisper. “What are we doing?” He leans back without breaking eye contact and crosses his arms over his huge chest.
“You’re avoiding the truth. About yourselves, about each other, about your relationship. I’m just waiting for you both to wake the fuck up and take a look around. I don’t know how much more it’ll take before you two see what’s right under your goddamned noses.”
“What are you talking about?”
Trey sighs, running his hand across his mouth. “I’m talking about how I’ve never known two people so obviously made for each other except the two of you. Quit trying to fight your battles alone and learn to fight them together.”