“He’s not going to stop looking for me, you know? I’ll always be looking over my shoulder.” I disagree with him and remind myself of the hard truth. “This won’t be my past. He won’t let it be.”
“This life isn’t easy, darlin’. I wish for your sake it was, but look at you now. Look what you’ve been living. Now look at the new chance you have right here. What’s the alternative? You want to go back? You say you can’t fight him, his connections are too strong. There is only one option here then, you gotta do what you gotta do.”
I know he’s right. I stayed too long with Chad, and I wasn’t strong enough to fight him, nor was I strong enough to leave him.
Until now.
“Well, thank you for giving me that chance.” I reach out to touch his arm, but stop mid-air and drop it back down. “I really appreciate it.”
“Listen, if you ever need anything, Mackenzie, anything, you know how to find me, okay?” he offers. I don’t reply, but I take it in as my last resort. “Anytime. You just look me up.” He takes my hand and gently squeezes it before taking the steps and moving back to his van. He doesn’t look back and I don’t watch him leave. I just step up to the porch swing, take a seat, and look out at the empty sky ahead of me.
I stay out on the porch for the rest of the day, until the blue sky turns inky black. I don’t eat dinner with Larry and Mary, my stomach still tied in knots. I don’t engage in any conversations, my mind too lost in thoughts. I just sit on their porch swing and think.
Think about what I am going to do with my life. Where I will end up. All these new possibilities and I have no idea how to process it.
I don’t think about Chad and how he would be reacting to the news I was gone. I don’t think about Heidi, my only friend left behind. And I especially don’t think about Beau, or the fact him leaving me in the middle of nowhere felt worse than leaving behind my whole life. Maybe later I will process it, but tonight I don’t want to deal. I don’t want to feel. I just want to sit.
I am free.
I have escaped.
I don’t know how long it will last, but tonight it doesn’t matter.
Nothing matters.
Twenty-Two
Beau
“Open up, Beau, I know you’re in there.” The knock on the door pulls me out of sleep and back to my living room.
Fuck, here we go.
“Kenz, wake up.” I shift her naked body off me and take stock of my surroundings. It can’t be later than six. The afternoon sun is just starting to darken the room.
“What’s happening?” Kenzie yawns, stretching her arms up over her head. Her tits push out in front of her and I have to physically stop myself from touching her.
Keep it together, man. Just get rid of Nix first.
“Nix is here. Go put some clothes on.” I help her up then watch her naked ass walk down the hall.
Fuck, I could just ignore him like I’ve done the last three days.
“Beau, I’m not fuckin’ kiddin’. Open the fuckin’ door.” Nix’s pissed-off voice reminds me why that’s not a good idea.
“Hold the fuck on. I’m coming.” I reach for my discarded jeans and step into them before heading to the door. I should have known this was coming. Judging by the constant calls I’ve been ignoring for three days, this was inevitable. Bracing myself for what’s to come, I arrange my face and pull the front door open.
“What?” I greet, not giving one fuck Nix is probably about to lay me out. The last three days of having a naked Mackenzie anytime I want was worth it though.
“You missed the meet.” He pushes the door further open and storms past me.
“Sorry. Forgot.” I’m surprised his fist didn’t greet me. Not giving up on it still happening, I close the door and follow him into the kitchen.
“You forgot?” He practically scoffs. “You forget you cut some fucker’s fingers off, then left me with the fallout.” He flicks the coffee machine on and moves to the fridge, making himself at home.
Fucker.
“I know, shit.” I rub my face in frustration. Probably not my best move leaving the club with all my shit.
“You’re fuckin’ her.” It’s not a question, but a statement, one that pisses me off.
“Not your fucking business, Nix.” I step up to the coffee machine and take over, getting the pot started for a fresh brew.
“It’s my business if you’re gettin’ your priorities messed up, Beau.”
“I missed one meet. Don’t get your panties twisted.” I press the brew button then turn back to him.
“You’re too busy gettin’ your dick wet to know this shit with the club is fuckin’ important.”
“Don’t go there, Nix.” I force myself to stand down. I’d love nothing more than to take the three steps toward him and fucking knock him on his ass, but I remember Kenzie is here, probably about to come in here and the last thing she needs to see is me raging.
“I’m fuckin’ already there, brother. You’ve been off the grid for three days. Must be some pussy.” His remark pushes me too far, and before I can think of the consequences, I manage to step into his space and connect my fist to his jaw, knocking him back against the counter.
“The fuck, Beau?” He recoils, his hand wiping the small amount of blood from the corner of his mouth. “You’re out of fuckin’ line, Beau.” He steps forward, pushes me back and returns a fist to my nose. Pain spreads across my face. Blood spills instantly, but I don’t have a chance to stop it before he locks me in a headlock. I don’t give him the upper hand for too long before I twist out of his hold and take another swing at him. This time connecting with the side of his head.
“You really wanna do this?” Nix grins as I twist my fingers into the front of his shirt.
“You went there.” I hold him steady in my grasp, weighing up my options. I could hit him again, but he’ll only fucking come back at me.
“Beau? Wh-what’s going on?” Mackenzie’s panicked voice breaks the tension, pulling me back to the room.
“Fuck.” I twist my face to my sleeve, wiping the blood from my face, before pushing Nix back and spinning to face her. “Darlin’.” I step toward her and watch fear wash over her face.
“Beau? Did you cut someone’s finger off?” She steps back, her eyes dodging between me and Nix.
“No, darlin’. Nix is fucking around. Right, Nix?” I turn back to Nix and watch him smirk.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I was just messin’ with him.” He backs me up, but I’m not sure it’s enough.
“Relax, darlin’.” I force my voice louder, trying to pull her out of her head. She’s scared. No fucking mystery there, but she needs to know she’s safe.
“Of course you’re joking.” She takes another look between us both before visibly relaxing. “Is everything okay?”
“All good, darlin’.” She holds my gaze searching for truth, but I don’t give it to her.
“I might go have a shower.” I look down and see she’s thrown on one of my shirts and an old pair of shorts.
“No problem, darlin’.” I give her what I hope is a reassuring smile then watch her retreat out of the kitchen. After hearing the bathroom door close, I turn back to Nix.
“You’re an asshole.” I level my stare at him.
“You done?”
“Yeah, I’m done,” I hiss, letting out a breath past my teeth.
“Good.” He shakes his head then moves back to the coffee machine. “You got yourself in deep over some pussy, brother.”
“I’ll hit you again, you call her pussy one more fucking time,” I seethe, knowing I’m only working myself up again.
“Didn’t think I’d ever see it.” We both know he’s full of shit. This has been a long time coming.