The room stays quiet for a few minutes, the soft sounds of me searching around my makeup bag the only thing between us until Beau speaks again.
“So, who is going to this girls’ night?” He changes the subject and I take a breath.
“Just Kadence, Holly, Kelly, Bell, oh and, Lissy.” I lean close to the mirror and brush my eyelashes with mascara, trying to play it cool, but know I fail when his eyes catch my awkwardness.
“There a reason you just cringed saying her name?” My eyes find his again and I watch him raise a brow.
“Well, you know, because of your past together.” I drop my mascara into my makeup bag and keep my gaze on myself. I’m not sure what I should tell him. Am I threatened by Lissy because she had sex with Beau? Yes and no. The woman is stunning, at least ten years younger than me, and she’s seen Beau’s cock.
Okay, who am I kidding? Yeah, I’m threatened by her.
“Come here, Mackenzie.” His request is firm and leaves no room for me to argue. Placing my makeup brush down, I turn back and walk to him.
“You worried about Lissy?” He sits up and shifts to the side of the bed, pulling me to stand in front of him. I shrug my answer, not really sure if I do have a problem with Lissy personally or if it’s solely on what she represents.
“That’s not an answer, darlin’.”
“Fine, I’ll be honest. I’m not comfortable knowing you’ve been with her. I’d prefer I didn’t have those images in my head,” I concede, giving him the truth. I know he can’t help it. We both have our own pasts, mine colorful to say the least, but he doesn’t have to go out and pretend like it doesn’t bother him.
“Can’t change my past, Kenz. Been with a lot of women. Not gonna lie. But there’s only one of you.”
“You tell those lines to all the girls, Beau?” I force myself not to roll my eyes at his smooth line or the butterflies taking flight in my stomach.
“Never told a woman that line before, darlin’.” I still and drop my smile. Something passes between us before I realize he’s serious. “This isn’t just some fuck for me. I think I made it clear the first night I had you in my bed, darlin’.” He did. I remember. But it still doesn’t stop the insecurity. What if it doesn’t work out? What if I can’t be who he needs me to be?
“And if I can’t be who you want me to be? I can’t give you everything you crave? Will I be enough then?” I lay it out quickly, needing to know.
“You think it’s a deal breaker?” His hands come to my waist and hold me in place.
“You’re the one who said it was, not me.” I remember the threat, remember the promise. Yet I really have yet to see it.
“That was before I tasted you, before I had your body underneath me, my cock inside you. Before I knew what waking up next to you every morning would be like.” I look down into his eyes and I know he’s telling the truth. I see the conviction in them, but it only hurts me more, because I’m changing him.
“But you want more. You want me tied to your bed while you hurt me?” Images of him and Lissy flash before me and I have to force myself to shake them out.
“Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, darlin’. I want you in more ways than one. But I don’t want to hurt you. For me, it’s more about the pleasure I can draw out of you, but just like this dress, if what I want and what you need from me don’t match up, I’m not gonna push it.”
“See, that’s the problem for me. I look at Lissy and I can see you doing those things to her. I can see it and I hate it. I hate she could give you that, when I don’t know if I can.”
“I can’t change what you see, darlin’, but I can guarantee you I’m not even fucking looking at her. I’m looking at you and I’m more than fucking happy.” I can’t stop the eye roll on that one. Please, the man craves something and I have yet to give it to him. In no time, he’ll get bored.
Noticing my eye roll, his arms come around me tighter. “You need me to show you who I think about? Who my cock grows hard for every day?”
“You don’t have to.” I start to second-guess myself. I shouldn’t have brought it up. It’s ridiculous. It’s my issue. I shouldn’t make it his.
“I think I do, darlin’.” His fingers find the hem of my dress and bunch it up to expose my lace panties.
“Beau, I’m going to be late,” I complain, but don’t do anything else to stop him.
“You’re also gonna come,” he promises, sending a thrill through me.
“Slide your panties down your legs and step out of them,” he orders as he rests back further on the bed. I contemplate arguing with him, pushing back and stopping this, but I don’t want to. So I do as I’m told. I slide my lace panties down my legs and step out of them.
“See right there, darlin’. You doing what I tell you, when I tell you, how I tell you, that’s more than enough. You hear me?”
“I hear you, Beau,” I admit, starting to see his side. I might not be able to give him exactly what he likes, but maybe I’m getting there.
“Good girl. Now come here and sit on my face. If I have to spend the next few hours waiting around for you to come home, I want a taste to help me through.” I almost laugh at how desperate he sounds, but I don’t because I need him just as much. So being the good girl he wants me to be, I listen to his command. Climb on up, lower myself down on his face and let him eat me out.
By the time, he’s done, I barely know my own name, let alone Lissy’s.
“Oh, my God, just spill the news, it’s not like we don’t know what’s really going on! The man has it bad and we want all the deets.” Kadence pushes an hour later as we take a seat up in the VIP section of Liquid. We just walked in and everyone is here. Kadence, Kelly, Bell, Holly, Lissy and two of Bell’s friends I haven’t met before, Manda and her twin sister, Kate.
“Yeah, spill. I’ve seen that look before. He wound you up good and now he’s holding you tightly in place, isn’t he?” Holly laughs, getting in on teasing me. Jesus, this woman, I have no idea how she always manages to read me like a book.
“I’m surprised he even let you out of the house,” Kelly joins in, letting me know they aren’t going to give up tonight. “We haven’t seen you around the clubhouse in weeks.”
“Can we not do this now?” I flick my eyes to Lissy then back to Kelly. It’s not that I want to keep what’s happening between Beau and me secret, I just don’t wish to talk about us with Lissy here.
“Yeah, let’s give her a break.” Bell stands up for me. I give her a thankful smile then catch a glimpse of a huge rock on her left ring finger.
“Let’s talk about that ring?” I point to her hand, then watch her smile take over her face.
“Holy shit, you’re engaged?” Kadence reaches for Bell’s hand to have a better look.
“Yes!” She practically screams like she’s glad the news is finally out.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Holly reaches for her hand next.
“Well, I was planning to, but you guys haven’t let up on Mackenzie since she walked in all sexed up.” The girls only look partly guilty before barraging her with every question. When? How? What did he say?
“So we took a ride up to Mount Lookout last night.” Holly snorts and Kelly laughs. “I know, I know. Make-out Mountain. It’s kind of lame, but that’s where we had our first time.” Bell tries to justify it to them. I haven’t been to Make-out Mountain, but I know about it. Growing up in Redwick, we had our own make-out point.
“The first time?” Kelly questions and Bell blushes before nodding. I’m totally not getting the significance of what Mount Lookout means to Jesse and Bell, but I continue to listen regardless.
“He had this whole thing planned and then he messed up. He was a nervous wreck, fumbling his words.”
“Damn, the man has it bad.” Kadence’s grin lifts, looking just as excited as Bell.
“It was cute. Then he just said ‘Fuck it, will you marry me, sweetheart?’ Then of course, I said yes.”