Yeah, like that’s fucking happening.
“You’re not acting like nothing happened.” I place my hand on the door, stopping it from separating us. “You’re acting like you’re lost in your head, darlin’.” I rest my shoulder against the doorframe and watch her step back.
“You need to leave me alone.”
“Not until you tell me what’s happening here. I’m kind of fucking clueless right now.” Her arms come around the front of her, wrapping herself tightly.
“You’re keeping something from me.” Her body stills for a brief second before she quickly hides her reaction.
“You think you know everything.” She spins on her heel, moving to the shower and pulling the door open. I watch her sharp, angry movements. She starts the shower, steps back, and tears the zip down on her dress.
Willing myself not to get hard, she practically rips it from her body, unclasping her bra and throwing it on the floor.
“You just have to push and push.” Her panties go next. “Can’t I just be tired? Can’t I just have a moment? Fucking men just have to push. You’re just like him.” Her whole demeanor has flipped. This isn’t Mackenzie talking.
“Maybe I don’t want to talk about it. Did you think about that?” She twists back to face me, completely naked. “Did you? I don’t have to talk to you about everything, you know. You don’t get to tell me how I can feel, how to act.” She pulls the glass door open and steps under the stream of the water. She dips her head back, letting the water soak through her hair. Her tits push out as she raises her hands to her hair. I don’t know if I want to laugh or spank the fuck out of her ass right now.
“Are you done?” I ask when my cock decides he’s done with this bullshit play.
Her eyes open as I take three steps toward her. “Are you?” She narrows her gaze when I rip my shirt over my head.
“Not even fucking close to being done, darlin’.” I toe off my boots, flick the button on my jeans then pull them down.
“Beau.” She steps back when I open the glass door.
“Turn around, put your hands on the tiles, and don’t move them.” I spin her before she can argue and guide her hands over her head, firmly placing them against the wall. “Don’t you ever fucking put me in the same head space as that piece of shit.” I step in close to her, my front to her back.
“I didn’t mean it.” Her whisper is unsure as it echoes around the small shower.
“Don’t give a fuck. I’m not him. Never will be.” Her head drops forward, chin tucked into her breastbone.
“I know. I’m a bitch. I didn’t mean to say it.” I press into her closer, my cock now rock hard.
“You’re not. But you’re gonna tell me what the fuck is happening here.” I lean in closer, my mouth to her ear.
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t feed me bullshit. I’m not fucking stupid. This have something to do with Lissy?”
“No. No, it’s not her. It’s me.” She gives me something to work with. “Maybe this is moving too fast for me.”
“You freaking out?” I keep her pinned to the shower wall. Her hands still above her head. I’m confused. She’s showed no signs of pulling back in the last week. Not for one second have I thought I’ve pushed her too far.
Until tonight.
“Maybe. I don’t know.” She shakes her head. Almost like she’s as confused as I am. My head is telling me she’s full of shit, but my body steps back giving her space. “Wait.” She turns back to face me. Her eyes grow wide in panic. “Jesus, I don’t know what I’m saying.” She shakes her head again.
“Nothing’s changed here, darlin’. We go at your speed.” She bites her lip and I can practically see the wheels turning in her head.
“I’m sorry. I really am tired. The girls were on my case all night. Then the thing with Lissy. I’m just getting lost in my head.” She steps up to me this time.
“Nothing to be sorry for. You want to cool things down. I get it.” I wrap my arms around her. I still don’t understand what made her flip like this, but I don’t push. I’ve already pushed too far tonight.
“I don’t know what I want.” She speaks into my chest, and it’s probably the most honest thing she’s said all night.
“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” I decide to end this conversation, at least for now. Whatever she’s stewing over isn’t going to go away tonight. I’ve already tried to bring her out of it and was unsuccessful. I’ll let it go this evening, but tomorrow is a new day.
I reach forward and turn off the water. We step out of the shower, and I wrap her in a towel before grabbing one for myself. She lets me take the lead, drying her off before moving her back to my bed. We don’t say another word as we dress for bed. Unsure of what I’m looking at with our situation, I let her run things. She heads back to the bathroom and dries her hair. I climb between the sheets and wait to see if she comes to me. After everything else tonight, I wouldn’t be surprised if she made her way back to her room. If it happens, I’ll follow. Five minutes later, she steps out of the bathroom and comes to my bed.
I don’t show my relief. Instead, I pull the blanket back and let her climb in.
She settles, still keeping the silence, so I turn the light off, bathing the room in darkness. Another five minutes go by and she finally shifts, rolling to face me.
“Beau, I’m falling in love with you. And maybe that’s too soon to say, or too soon for you to hear, but I need you to know.” She rests her palm over my naked chest.
“Darlin’—” I begin, but she cuts me off.
“I didn’t tell you so you can say it back. I just wanted you to know.”
Jesus, I’m on a rollercoaster right now. Ups and downs, and fucking looping everywhere.
“Okay,” I whisper, pulling her closer to me. The urge to tell her back is strong, but I don’t. Not because I don’t feel the same way. Fuck, I think I fell in love with her the second she walked into the clubhouse. No, I don’t say it back because something’s not right. It’s almost like she had to tell me before it was too late.
But too late for what?
An unease settles over me, and digs in so deep I know it isn’t going away. She’s up to something and I don’t know what the fuck it is, but I’m sure as hell going to find out.
Sooner or later I am going to find out.
Past Mackenzie
“I’m out Fred!” I shout, reaching for my bag.
“If you wait ten minutes, I’ll take you home,” he yells back, but it’s the last thing I want. Not tonight. I just want to go home after my long shift.
“No, it’s fine. I’m beat. I just want the quickest way into a shower so I can crawl into bed.”
Fred pokes his head around the corner and lowers his brows. I can see he intends to argue with me.
“Leave her alone, Fred. She’s just down the road,” Carly starts on him before he starts on me.
We’ve been having the same argument since I’ve been working. Even with the gun and self-defense classes, he’s still overprotective.
“I know she’s just down the road, Carly.” He shakes his head at his wife, then levels his eyes back on me. “You still having problems with your new neighbor?” He changes tactics. “I can stop by and have a word with him.” Fred has become my self-appointed father, Carly my mother. They have been so good to me the last fifteen months. I hate keeping them at a distance.
“I spoke to him yesterday. He said he’s going to turn the level down a little.” I fill him in on my neighbor drama.
“He doesn’t, I’ll pay him a visit.” He nods to himself. I don’t argue with him about it. There are some battles you just won’t win with Fred. This will be another one.