The woman looked like Karly, but I couldn’t be sure. Maybe I just wanted it to be her.
Even so, I followed. I took the alley to the back of the building, where the dormitories and fraternities came together in a kind of quad. It was almost impossible to see in the darkness back here. Trees crowded the open lawns and blocked my view. Ivy-covered walls butted up to the cobblestoned sidewalks. I didn’t see Karly — if it really was Karly — but she couldn’t have gone far. I heard the tap of her heels on stone, but the noise bounced between the walls and made it hard to tell where she was.
I crossed beside a building with Greek letters engraved over its doorway. Bike racks were crowded near the rear door, and I smelled weed through one of the windows. I stopped by the dense, overgrown hedges and listened again, hearing no footsteps this time. Then, on the far side of the lawn, I spotted a flash of her blond hair as she passed under the glow of a lamppost. She disappeared into a narrow corridor between two buildings. I changed direction to go after her, navigating between the trees. The branches dangled low to the ground, scraping my face as I hurried through the damp grass.
When I was halfway across the lawn, I stopped.
A stab of horror ran through my body. Ahead of me, a silhouette detached itself from the thick trunk of an elm tree. It was a man. He stood on the fringe of the grass, framed in darkness by the lamppost. I recognized the outline of his body, because I’d seen it in photographs throughout my life. That was how I looked, with my lean, small frame, with my shock of wavy hair. It was me. It was him. He headed after the blond woman with a determined stride, and as he crossed under the light of the lamppost, I saw the dirty leather of his coat. My father’s coat. I also saw a glinting reflection of something metal in his hand.
A knife.
He was carrying a knife.
I tried to run, but the slick mud under my feet slowed me down. When I got to the walkway between the buildings, the corridor was already empty. I sprinted to the far side and found myself in a wooded area where four sidewalks met in a cross, with more ivy-covered walls on every side. My doppelgänger was gone. So was Karly.
Was it Karly?
Was I going to lose her again?
I didn’t know which way to go — left, right, or straight. In front of me, the cobblestones led beneath an archway between two buildings, and I ran that way, finding myself in another dark quad where brick walls loomed around the square. The area was silent, except for the noise of the tree branches rustling together. I saw no one, and I turned around to reverse my steps.
There she was. Right behind me. Staring right at me.
She was fit, young, and attractive, with bobbed blond hair, but she wasn’t Karly. They looked similar, but this woman was a stranger. In her hand was a small canister that she pointed at my face.
“Freeze, shithead. This is pepper spray. One more step, and you’ll be choking on the ground, and I’ll be kicking the crap out of you. Got it?”
I backed away and held up my hands. “Hey, I’m sorry. I saw someone following you, and I was just trying to help.”
“Yeah, you were following me. And now you’re done. I’m calling security, so unless you want to explain why you’re on campus stalking women, you better get the hell out of here and not come back.”
She didn’t take her eyes off me. With the can of pepper spray still poised, she backed to the doorway of the nearest building and disappeared inside. I didn’t want to be around when campus security arrived, so I walked quickly back the way I’d come.
Even so, when I reached the alley that led toward Sheridan, I stopped.
No one was in sight, but the shadows offered plenty of hiding places.
I waited to see if he would show himself, but he didn’t. Regardless, I knew he was here. Our minds were linked, and I could feel him watching me from the blackness. I’d stopped him tonight, but this wasn’t over. We both knew the stakes.
He was in this world, and he was hunting for Karly.
I had to get to her first.
It was after midnight when I finally made it back to the apartment near River Park. I had nowhere else to go. It occurred to me that the Dylan who really belonged here might have come home while I was gone, but I had to take that chance, so I let myself inside. Moonlight stole through the windows, giving me enough light to see. I made my way to the bedroom and saw that Tai was alone in bed. I took off my clothes, feeling a wave of tiredness. I slid under the covers next to her. She faced away from me, her breathing steady. I knew she’d heard me arrive; I knew she was awake. I lay on my side, and the room was quiet.
“Where were you?” Tai said softly from the other side of the bed.
“I told you. I needed to see Roscoe.”
“You left the church hours ago. I called him. Where did you go?”
“I drove around.”
Tai turned over, just inches away. We were eye to eye. Her long hair spilled across the pillow. I could see her bare shoulders and breasts where the blanket slipped down.
“What are you not telling me?” she asked.
“Nothing.”
She stayed silent for a while, watching me. “I’m glad you’re safe. Those two days without you were hell. I was worried about you.”
“I know.”
“Why don’t we go away this weekend? We could drive to Lake Geneva, find a little B and B.”
“I can’t.”
“Oh. Okay. Whatever.”
I heard her disappointment and regretted the harshness in my voice. She didn’t deserve that. She had no way of knowing she was in bed with another man. “Tai, I’m sorry.”
She nudged closer and put her lips on mine. “You know, I can’t fix something when I don’t know what’s broken.”
“I already told you, it’s not you. It’s me. It’s all me.”
She kept kissing me. My lips. My chin. My eyes. Her taut nipples brushed against my chest, and her long hair caressed my skin. Her hand slid between my legs and began to tease an erection from me.
“Tai, it’s not a good night for that.”
“I don’t care.”
Her motions grew more urgent, her fingernails working on me with long, gentle strokes, and I responded to her touch despite myself. Yes, it felt good, but my body and mind were in two different places. I was thinking about the first time Karly had touched me, when I lay on the bed in the dollhouse, still in casts and mostly unable to move. She’d given me a sponge bath, and we made jokes to defuse the awkwardness of the effect it was having on me, which was impossible to miss. When we ran out of jokes, she giggled and said, “Oh, what the hell” and made me come harder than I ever had in my life.
That’s what I was remembering when Tai took hold of my shoulder. “Make love to me.”
I should have put her off, but I didn’t. I rolled on top of her, and she spread her legs wide, and I sank inside her. She cried out a little, then moaned. I thrust in and out slowly, feeling the heat of her response, and I tried to be in the moment. I tried to take pleasure in this, but every touch and every sound she made reminded me that our bodies were strangers. Seeing her face below me, not Karly’s, felt wrong, as if I were somehow cheating on both of them at the same time. I kept dreaming of making love to my real wife, but this wasn’t her. I rushed to finish, and the more I tried to climax, the more my body betrayed me. My arousal vanished. Tai wrapped her legs around me and tried to coax me back to life, but we were done. I couldn’t do this.
I pulled out of her and collapsed onto my back. “I’m sorry.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“I have a lot on my mind.”
“So tell me about it. Talk to me.”