Guilt flows through me as I place a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, that’s not going to happen. She’s going to be fine.”
He turns to look at me, and I can see the fear that mirrors my own in his eyes. “You don’t know that, Kale. What if she doesn’t wake up? She’s my whole world. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s everything to me.”
As I sink back in to my chair, I have no idea what to say. No words of consolation will ever be enough. “I’m so fucking sorry, Z. I should’ve had the gate shut or been watching her better. I’m so fucking sorry.” I can barely choke the words out as the guilt creeps in and wraps around my heart like a vise.
“Don’t. Don’t fucking blame yourself for this. You told me what happened, and it could’ve happened with anyone. It’s not your fault, and don’t make this harder on yourself by feeling like it is.”
I have no idea how he can be rational about it, but I appreciate his words, even if they do little to assuage my guilt. After handing the unfinished paperwork to Xavier, I watch as he loses himself in filling it out, and I’m thankful for the distraction. Once he finishes, he makes his way to the nurses’ station and hands it over.
I don’t know how long we sit in silence, both of us nervously shaking our legs in anticipation of hearing some news, any news, about her condition. Out of nowhere, Dr. Simon approaches and we both quickly jump to our feet, eager to hear the news.
“Mr. Cruz, the results from the CT scan show there is a slight swelling in Lily’s brain.” I hear Xavier’s sharp intake of breath as my heart starts rapidly beating. “That being said, it’s a minor cerebral edema, and we’re treating it with painkillers and corticosteroids. It doesn’t appear to be severe enough to require surgery. She has a concussion, but she is awake and appears to have full function of her motor skills. She’s been asking for you,” he tells Xavier.
“So, she’s going to be okay?” Xavier asks for clarification.
“Well, brain injuries can be tricky, but it appears that Lily’s going to be just fine. She’s going to be sore for a while, and like I said, we want to monitor the swelling, but all in all, she’s a lucky little girl. It could’ve been much worse. Now, if you’ll follow me, I’ll take you back to her.”
“You comin’?” Xavier asks, and I shake my head, not sure I’m ready to see her. To see what I did to her.
“You go ahead. I’m going to call Lucy and tell her what’s going on. Whenever Lily’s ready for more company, I’ll be out here waiting.”
He gives me a perceptive nod then follows the doctor, and I watch as they disappear down the corridor. I head outside, not wanting anyone to hear me freaking the fuck out as I call Lucy to tell her the news. That Lily’s in the hospital and it’s all my fault.
Chapter 27
Lucy
I’M SURPRISED when I come home to find the house dark after an exhausting, albeit fun day of wedding shopping with Charlie. I knew Kale was watching Lily today, and I was hopeful she’d still be around when I got home. Glancing at the clock, I realize it’s dinnertime and wonder if they went out to grab something.
As I make my way back to the bedroom, more than ready to change into my stretchy yoga pants, I check my phone and see that I don’t have any messages from him. I shrug it off and enter the bedroom, stopping in my tracks. Next to my side of the bed is the most beautiful white bassinet. As I move closer, I smile when I see a bright green fleece blanket folded up inside. A small stuffed animal rests where the baby will go, and I pick it up to study the Winnie the Pooh, which clearly isn’t new. I guess it’s from Lily, and I grin as I remember her excitement when she found out she was getting a ‘cousin’, even if she did try to play it off like she wanted it to be a girl.
Taking advantage of the quiet, I quickly change my clothes and then prop myself up on the bed to get some grading done. I’m nearly seven months along now and I can rest my papers on my belly for easy access. Even though it’s getting harder to shave my legs, the shelf it creates is actually quite useful. I’m knee-deep in spelling tests when my phone goes off, the special ringtone for Kale playing.
“Hey, baby. Are you out with your other girlfriend?” I tease playfully, but my mood drops when I hear him inhale sharply on the other end of the phone. “Kale? Everything okay?”
“No,” is all I get, and I let the stack of paper slide off my belly as I quickly rise from the bed.
“What? What’s going on? Where are you?” I ask as I start pacing the room.
“The hospital.”
My heart starts racing as every horrible thought runs through my head, but then I try to calm down, knowing that if he’s talking to me, then he’s okay.
“Kale, tell me what’s going on. Please.”
“It’s my fault. I wasn’t paying enough attention, and I didn’t get there in time. Once again, I failed in protecting what’s mine because I was too far away.”
His cryptic answers aren’t making any sense. I slide into my flats and grab my purse and keys, ready to head to the hospital even if he isn’t telling me what happened.
“Kale. Tell me exactly where you are.”
He rattles off the name of the nearest hospital, and I pull out of the drive, desperate to get to him. He’s silent on the other end of the line, and all I can hear is his breathing.
“Baby, are you hurt?”
I hear him sigh deeply, and I wish he’d just answer me.
“No, Lucy. Not me. Lily.”
RACING THROUGH the doors of the emergency room, I scan the room until my eyes rest on Kale. He’s hunched over, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. I cross the room and crouch down in front of him, something that’s not an easy task with my basketball-sized belly. My fingers graze his chin, and I lift slightly so he’ll look at me. His eyes are red-rimmed and fully of worry, but I see the relief in them when it registers that I’m here. He grabs my hands and pulls me up, settling me in his lap sideways as he wraps an arm around my waist, his hands resting on my stomach. I stroke his hair, hoping I can be some sort of comfort for him.
“Kale, can you tell me what happened?” I ask quietly, and he lifts his head up to look at me.
“I threw the ball too far and she ran after it. Right out into the road without even looking. God, Lucy, she flew so high in the air, and I couldn’t move as I watched it all happen right in front of me.” He closes his eyes, shaking his head as if he’s trying to rid himself of the memory.
“I’m sure it was just an accident. How is she? Have you seen her?”
He shakes his head, his shoulders slumping. “Xavier’s back there with her. The doctor says she’s going to be okay, but until I see her, I just don’t know if I can believe it. I can’t get the image of her lying there on the ground, unconscious, and bleeding out of my mind. Hell, her fucking blood’s on my shirt!”
I pull back to look at him and see the red flecks staining his shirt. It makes my insides roil, and I wrap my arms around him.
“If they say she’s going to be fine, then trust in that, okay? We’ll see her soon enough.”
As if on cue, I see Xavier approach, and I’m quick to get out of Kale’s lap. Kale stands and looks at him as he waits for the news.
Xavier gives us a small smile. “She’s all right, man. Says her head hurts and it hurts to laugh, but other than that, she’s gonna be fine.”
Kale lets out a slow, deep breath as he lets Xavier’s words sink in. “Can I see her?” he asks, and Xavier nods, motioning for us to follow him. I take Kale’s hand in my mine, squeezing gently for reassurance.