I made a choice. I don’t know why. Maybe what Shirley said had got to me, or maybe not; maybe I simply wanted to see if I could do better than the night before. Whatever, I made a choice and, to this day, I can say honestly I’ve never regretted it. ‘That’s pretty defeatist talk,’ I murmured, ‘if you don’t mind me saying so.’ I swam closer, and reached for him. ‘It’s also a lie.’
He followed me as I swam across to the side of the pool, and spread my arms wide along the concrete edging, supporting myself. He dived, and I felt him lick me, then fondle me, then slide easily into me as he surfaced. ‘Wow,’ he whispered in my ear, as he reached out, put his arms around my neck, drew his legs up to part mine a little more, and. .
We took our time over it, as long as we could make it last, but when he could hold back no longer, he came, and I did too, crying, ‘Yes!’ loud enough to make me hope that Shirley was asleep, or I’d never hear the end of it. I held him inside until he began to subside, kissing him, nuzzling him. ‘Okay,’ I whispered, as I felt him leave me. ‘Now can I swim?’
He laughed. ‘For as long as you like; but I think if I tried now, I’d drown. I’ve never had it under water before. It takes it out of the legs. I’m off to bed.’
I didn’t join him, not in his, at any rate. I thought about it as I swam lengths of the big pool, ridiculously pleased with myself, but I decided that any more intimacy might suggest an attachment. Instead I resolved to treat him as Auntie Ade had probably treated his dad thirty-five years before; strictly ‘so long, and thanks for the memory’. The consequences of Adrienne’s encounter with the doomed Kotaro crossed my mind briefly, since I’ve been off the pill for years, but I was only a couple of days past my period, so I decided, rightly as it turned out, that there was no risk, without ever considering the possible contraceptive effects of submarine copulation.
I was lost in my thoughts as I walked up the steps and out of the water, and as I dried myself with one of Shirley’s big white towels, until a sound to my left broke through. I glanced at the glazed garden door and saw her framed in it, smiling. She winked at me, then disappeared into her fortress.
The door of Frank’s bedroom was open, an invitation, I had no doubt. I could see him in the light from the corridor, lying naked, on his back, asleep. I confess that I almost did settle down beside him, but my resolution held and I walked on, closing my own door behind me.
Twenty-seven
I had no more crying dreams. I did have a bad one, though, one that involved Frank, Sebastian and Willie, Lidia, Auntie Ade, Emil Caballero and his gun. We were all in the burned-out barn, at the site of the so-called casino, and it didn’t have a happy ending, not for Frank and Adrienne, at any rate. I woke up before they got round to me.
He was in the bathroom when I stepped out of my room. I had a towel wrapped around me, but he was in the buff, his back to the open door as he shaved. ‘Put some clothes on,’ I told him, for all that I noticed how pert his bum was. ‘We’re not a couple, so don’t act like it.’ Maybe that was a little harsh, since I’d made the running the night before, but he got the message.
‘Sorry,’ he said, frowning in the mirror.
I couldn’t help it; I laughed, out loud. ‘And what did I tell you yesterday about saying “Sorry”? It won’t work.’
I grabbed a bar of soap, left him to finish in the bathroom, and had a shower outside in the garden, by the pool. The water was cold, but that was what I needed, something to waken me properly. I was still under the spray when Frank came out of the bungalow. ‘What was that you were saying?’ he called across to me, making me feel just a little guilty. I went inside to dry myself. By the time I was dressed and presentable, Shirley was in the garden, back at the table with her standard breakfast, melon, pineapple and coffee, this time for three.
‘You know,’ she remarked, deadpan, as she poured a cup for me, ‘my pool man was saying the other day that I should stop putting chlorine in and use bromide instead. What do you think, Prim?’
I returned her question with another. ‘Is it a softening agent?’
‘So I’ve heard.’
Frank looked at us as if we were daft. I think he was puzzled, genuinely.
‘In that case, I wouldn’t, if I were you,’ I concluded. ‘One never knows the moment.’
We finished breakfast, and sat around for a while, talking about nothing much. I still felt slightly unreal as I contemplated my nocturnal behaviour. It had been good, full-bore sex, far different from the sympathy shag on the train, and the whore within me wanted to rip his clothes off and start all over again. It wasn’t that easy, though. One difficulty was that the rest of me, my sensible, discreet, proper majority, didn’t even fancy him. Another was that in the aftermath, my old ghosts hadn’t been laid as I’d hoped. The opposite in fact: they were starting to haunt me; I was starting to think of New York.
‘So,’ Shirley asked, bringing me back to the present, ‘what’s your game plan for the day?’
‘Check the house, I suppose,’ I replied. ‘Pick up some stuff, and after that maybe show Frank some of the scenery.’
She nodded. ‘Sounds good. But steer clear of L’Escala. I went down there yesterday, to the bank, and it was crawling with people.’ She turned to my cousin. ‘I never asked you, Frank. How long are you staying?’
‘That depends,’ he told her, ‘on how long Primavera will put up with me.’
‘Play your cards right with her and you could be okay for a while yet.’
‘That would be nice,’ he said, ‘but it also depends on my mother. We’re expecting her to show up soon. Once she does, I’ll have some business to sort out in London.’
‘What is your business?’
‘I’m in property these days: sales. Recently I’ve been in Seville, where Prim and I met up.’
She grimaced. ‘Don’t plan on settling down here, in that case.’ I found myself shuddering at the thought. ‘There are too many estate agents here as it is.’
‘I don’t intend to,’ he said, to my private relief. ‘I’ll be moving to another part of Europe soon.’ He looked at me. ‘We should get going. I’ll go across and tidy up.’
‘You’re staying tonight, aren’t you?’ Shirley asked him, hopefully.
‘If that’s okay, and if Mum doesn’t turn up out of the blue.’
‘Bring her if she does. I’ve got plenty of room, and I enjoy company.’
‘We’ll see.’
She gazed after him as he walked away, then turned to me. ‘Well, then?’
‘Well then what?’
‘You know. Well, then?’
‘Were you watching us all that time?’
‘Give me credit for having more class than that. No, I came down to switch the pool lights off, and got to the door just as you were hitting high C. You took my advice, then? It sounded like more than a hug between friends.’
‘It was.’
‘And?’
‘It was nice. I should do it more often.’
‘With the right bloke, yes. Nice, you said. It sounded more than nice.’
‘Okay, more than nice.’
‘Scale out of ten?’
‘Six.’
‘Six!’
‘Okay, seven.’
‘And bonus points or artistic impression, in that case. Gonna try for a higher score?’
‘No. That’s as good as it’s going to get.’
‘Don’t be daft. Enjoy it while he’s around. Who knows? It might be another three years to the next time.’
‘Cheers.’ I chuckled. ‘You do wonders for a girl’s self-esteem.’
‘You know what I meant.’
‘Yes, but he’s so much younger than me. I’ve never had a younger bloke in my life.’
‘Was it so bad?’
‘No.’
‘There you are, then; a whole new world’s opened up for you.’
‘When all I want is the old one back?’
She frowned, and I was instantly sorry I’d said that. ‘You think I don’t want Clive back?’ she asked. ‘Course I do, but I gave up fantasising about it a long time ago.’