“She’s not. At least not for New Year’s. A Vegas wedding is right up Lisa’s alley, but it’s not going to happen right away.”
Driving might seem like a good solution, but everyone else would still get on a plane. What if we arrived in Vegas only to find they hadn’t made it?
“Talk to me, Tenley.”
I looked up, pleading with him to understand. “I can’t go through that again. Losing all these people? It would kill me.”
“I know. That’s why we’d drive.”
“But everyone else would fly!” I gripped Hayden’s hand tighter to keep my shaking under control. “I can’t ask them to put their lives on hold just because I can’t get on a plane. I don’t know if I’ll ever get past this fear.” I shuddered. “I only lost consciousness briefly after the plane went down.”
“You— What? I don’t understand.”
“When I came to, the plane had crashed and it was on fire. I found Connor when I was trying to escape. He was dead. Half of his face was crushed. It’s the last memory I have of him—and it still haunts my nightmares. You’re asking me to entertain the same scenario. Tell me how I’m supposed to deal with that.”
The color drained from Hayden’s face. I still hadn’t told him some things because talking about it hurt too much. “Shit. I’m so sorry. I wish I could take those memories away for you.”
Enveloped in his protective embrace, I sagged against him, drained of energy. I locked my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, desperate for the closeness, the connection. He held me for the longest time and I absorbed the comfort like a sponge.
His chin rested on top of my head. I felt the periodic bob of his throat as he swallowed, the rise and fall of his chest, the constant, rhythmic beat of his heart. I pressed my lips to his neck. Hayden dropped his head and kissed me. Fear had a way of inspiring need. My lips parted, welcoming him in.
A quiet knock at the door broke the spell. Lisa’s apprehensive voice came from the other side: “Tenley? Hayden?”
Hayden pressed his forehead against mine. “Give us a minute,” he called out, and then dropped to a whisper. “I’m taking you home soon.”
“Please? I need you tonight.”
He pressed one final kiss to my lips and helped me down from the vanity. When I had my bearings, he opened the door.
Lisa threw her arms around me. “I’m so sorry. I was caught up in the excitement. I didn’t think.”
I held on to her, feeling the burden of her sadness, hating that I couldn’t enjoy her spontaneity. “You don’t have to apologize. I overreacted.”
Hayden took my hand and we walked through the dining room. The table had been cleared and everything returned to order. We went into the living room, where everyone had congregated. No one made a fuss, and Hayden pulled me into his lap in an oversize reading chair.
20
TENLEY
“Ready to go?” Hayden whispered after gifts had been exchanged.
“Please,” I said, draining what was left of the tea I’d been drinking. Everything was an uncomplicated haze, now that the medication had set in. When we got home, I could lose myself in him. He dropped a lingering kiss on my shoulder, following with his teeth, the promise of intimacy an undeniable lure.
“Tenley and I are gonna roll out.”
“You’re not staying the night?” Cassie asked, clearly disappointed.
“TK’s by herself,” Hayden said, his hands on my waist as I stood. The room shifted with the movement, the medication making me feel weightless.
Hayden packed all the gifts into the box we’d brought. He helped me into my coat, and I used the bench as a seat to put on my shoes, since I was too unsteady to stand. I didn’t track the hugs and good-byes because my mind was elsewhere.
Hayden led me to the car and unlocked the door. “I’m sorry today wasn’t easier.” The words spiraled out in ghostly tendrils, disappearing in the cold air.
“You were with me. That made it better.” I grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him close.
His body came flush against mine as his lips parted, and we took up where we’d left off in the bathroom. His hands went to my hips, his erection insistent against my stomach. “I need to get you home.”
“I want to be home,” I said, feeling for the door handle.
Hayden helped me in and shut me inside the frigid car. He adjusted himself as he strode around the front, his intentions as clear as mine. The presents were unceremoniously tossed in the backseat.
“I should have warmed up the car first,” he said as he turned the engine over.
“It gets warm fast enough.” I pulled my legs up and rubbed them through the thin nylon.
He shifted the car into gear, gunning it as soon as he was on the street. Unable to keep my hands off him, I put my palm on his knee. He glanced down but didn’t say anything. I moved higher, up along his thigh. The muscles in his leg tensed.
Hayden sucked in a breath as I grazed his erection. “What are you doing?”
“Touching you.” I reached for his belt, sliding the leather through the buckle, unclasping it, and flicking the button open.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Can’t you multitask?”
“That depends on the tasks involved.”
I slipped my hand into his pants, fingering the warm steel ball at the head. Hayden gripped the steering wheel tightly.
He whispered a low “Fuck.” His eyes flicked to me. “We should have left earlier.”
The blinker came on and he made several turns, taking us deeper into a subdivision while I freed him from his pants and continued stroking.
“Hold on,” Hayden gritted through clenched teeth as he wrenched the wheel and the car turned sharply. He eased off the gas and pulled into a short driveway before hitting the brakes with a jolt. His labored breathing was drowned out by the loud whir of a garage door opening.
“Where are we?”
“This is the place I’m working on with Nate.”
“No one lives here?”
“Not at the moment, no.”
He pulled into the garage. Once the car was inside, the door closed.
Hayden cut the engine and the headlights died, submerging us in darkness. We groped blindly in the inky black, hands searching each other out, mouths connecting. His tongue pushed past my lips, and I hastily unfastened my seat belt so I could get closer. We were a mass of tangled limbs, pulling and pushing as we tried to bridge the space between us.
I was pressed against the passenger door, legs spread out, one hand on the dash, the other gripping the headrest. Hayden hovered over me, halfway across the center console, contorted in an uncomfortable position he didn’t seem to mind. He sought the edge of my dress, his hand snaking up my thigh, reaching the lace edge of my thigh highs.
Then he stopped. His hand slapped at the ceiling and the interior light came on. I blinked, adjusting to the sudden brightness.
“How the fuck did I miss these?”
“I put them on just before we left, while you were getting the presents together.”
“Sneaky, sexy woman.”
He ran his finger under the pink strap of the garter, all the way up to the satin between my legs. His knuckle grazed my clit. I arched into the touch and threw my head back, slamming it against the window.
“Shit. Are you okay?” His hand stayed between my legs, but he looked conflicted as he scanned my body and his eyes rose to mine. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this here. I don’t have my key to get in the house. I should take you home.”
The day had been too heavy and I wanted Hayden to erase it. “I don’t want to wait until we get home. I want you to fuck me now.”
After a moment’s hesitation he fumbled with the lever on my seat and I went crashing back. The box of presents behind me toppled over, spilling its contents onto the floor.