“What do you mean?” she asks. “What’s been going on?”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Cander says, “but Rafu has changed since you’ve been away. Intermix are restless, poverty has multiplied, violence is incredible. Life here is drastically deteriorating.”
“I’ve seen it,” Nazirah says.
“Seeing it doesn’t mean you understand it,” he says. “We barely get any resources from Mediah anymore. Our quotas have tripled. We’re forced to send them almost everything we catch, tons and tons of seafood daily. The Medis don’t even consume it all; the Chancellor throws most of it away. Mediah is punishing Eridies for housing the rebels. I’m worried this campaign is the final straw.”
“Poor Cander,” she mocks. “You don’t get any resources from Mediah? Welcome to my life for the past eighteen years! And besides, this is a good thing! We need this unrest to fuel the rebellion!”
“So that what?” he cries. “So that your brother can ship mine off to war? To certain death? It’s a suicide mission, Nazirah! You have no shot against the capital. Don’t delude yourself into thinking otherwise. Your intermix revolution ties a noose around Cato’s neck. And I want no part of it.”
“It’s not an intermix revolution, Cander!” Nazirah screams. “It’s to the benefit of every territory-born as well! You should follow your little brother’s lead and stop acting like a spineless coward!”
Cander slams his fist on the coffee table, making the glass rattle. “I am no coward!”
“Could have fooled me!”
“You think I don’t see the poverty around us?” he yells, infuriated. “I help extinguish Medi fires all the time in the slums! You think it doesn’t eat me up inside, watching human beings burn and die? You think I like being a pawn in their sick game? I’m just trying to protect my family, Nazirah! Because no one else will. Especially not my little brother. You’re the only thing Cato cares about. It’s always been that way. It’s always been all about Nazirah fucking Nation, and fuck anyone who dares get in the way!”
“Nazzy!”
A small voice cries from the top of the staircase, interrupting them. Cato’s seven-year-old sister bolts down the stairs and into Nazirah’s arms. Nazirah scoops her up into a hug. Nazirah fondly remembers the day Caria was born; she has always thought of her as a little sister.
“Caria!” Nazirah wipes away a tear. “You’ve grown up! You’ve lost your front tooth!” Nazirah scoots over, making room for Caria on the couch.
Caria sits down, bouncing happily, sticking her tongue in the empty gap. “Last week,” she says, grinning.
Cameron tries to sound stern. “You’re supposed to be sleeping, sweetie.”
“Daddy, please,” Caria says, rolling her eyes. “Nazzy, what are you doing here? Is Cato back?” She looks around the room excitedly. Cander and Cameron stiffen in their seats.
“No Caria,” Nazirah says. “It’s only me. I’m … visiting.”
“Oh,” Caria sighs, a bit put out. “Well, I’m happy to see you!”
Nazirah smiles slightly. She looks at Cander, who nods. They make a silent pact not to argue in front of the smallest, most powerful Caal.
Juliya comes out with a steaming mug of tea and some homemade cookies. She hands the plate to Nazirah and Caria eyes the cookies longingly. Nazirah happily shares them with her.
“She’s got you wrapped around her little finger,” Cander says to Nazirah. Caria sticks her tongue out at him, fingers sticky with jam.
Juliya adjusts her robe, sitting down on the armrest next to Cameron. She asks, “How did you get here? We were sure Nikolaus wouldn’t let you out of his sight.”
Nazirah snorts. “Yeah, right.”
“He’s okay with you wandering off?”
“Niko isn’t on the campaign with us,” Nazirah says, unsure of how to proceed. “He’s staying at headquarters.” She bites into a large cookie, trying to avoid answering the question.
“You didn’t sneak out, did you?” asks Juliya, concerned.
“Sneak … no,” Nazirah says, chewing. “Walk … maybe.”
“Girl hasn’t changed at all, Juliya,” Cameron chuckles. “Remember when she and Cato ransacked the house, making off with all the homebrewed tequilux we’d been saving for the family reunion?”
Nazirah coughs up cookie crumbs, blushing furiously. “I don’t remember that,” she claims.
Juliya looks bemused. “I do,” she says. Then, as only a mother can, Juliya broaches the subject everyone has been dancing around. “Speaking of Cato,” she says. “Is he well?”
Nazirah sees the deep concern in her eyes, the worry she hides as she tries to remain strong for her family. Juliya and Riva are so alike it hurt. “He is,” Nazirah replies. “Really well, actually.”
Nazirah proceeds to tell them everything about Cato. She tells them about how happy he is, how he feels like he’s finally found his place doing something meaningful in the world. How he lights up the rebel headquarters with his smile, how he is friends with everyone he meets. How he has been stationed for a few weeks in the Red West and how excited he was to go. His family listens, rapt, smiles and tears on every face.
Juliya affectionately grabs Cameron’s hand. “That’s wonderful to hear,” she says, face shining.
“He misses you.” Nazirah smiles. “Just this morning, he asked me to tell you he loves you.”
Juliya sobs into Cameron’s shoulder, making Nazirah feel enormously uncomfortable. She stands up, ready to leave, wanting to give them privacy. They’ve lost a son, Nazirah realizes, and a brother. Because of her.
Juliya sees the guilt on Nazirah’s face, rises to embrace her. “Nazirah,” she says firmly, like a mother would speak to her own child. “We are so incredibly proud of you, and of Cato. Please don’t think we hold anything against you. None of this is your fault.”
But Nazirah doesn’t believe her, not for a second. She should have stopped Cato from coming with her. But she didn’t, because she wanted him for herself. Adamek is right. She is a selfish bitch.
“I should probably get back,” she says. “Before anyone realizes I’m gone.”
Juliya and Cameron share a concerned look. “Cander will walk you,” Juliya says. “You can’t roam these streets alone at night anymore.”
“I’ll be fine,” Nazirah replies.
“It’s not a suggestion,” Juliya says sharply.
“Nazirah,” Cameron says, “with all the turmoil around here lately, some of the Eridian gangs have taken it upon themselves to … place blame.”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re lynching intermix,” Cander answers abruptly. “They round up the beggars on the street every night and hang them in the square.”
Nazirah inhales, clenching her fists. She looks away for a moment, collecting herself, before nodding silently. She pulls out Cato’s cap. Instead of putting it on, she gently fits it over Caria’s head. It falls into Caria’s eyes and she holds it up with one hand. “Something to remember Cato by,” Nazirah says. “While he’s away.”
“Wait!” Caria shouts, remembering something. She bounds upstairs, banging loudly, and then storms back down again. She holds something small in her hand, thrusts it shyly to Nazirah. “This is for Cato … when you see him.”
Nazirah gently takes the heart-shaped locket she knows contains a photo of Cato and Caria. “I’ll make sure he gets it,” she says.
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
“Take care, Nazirah,” Juliya says, tightly hugging her at the door. Nazirah imagines this particular hug is meant for someone else.
Cander and Nazirah walk back in uncomfortable silence. They soon reach the entrance of the inn. Even though it’s late, there are a few stragglers drinking casually outside. Nazirah covers her face with her hand. Cander glances suspiciously around the tables. He wraps his hands around her waist, embracing Nazirah as if they were lovers.
“Are we okay?” she asks him quietly.
“Everyone here is drunk,” he whispers in her ear. “No one will recognize you. And if they do, they won’t remember it come tomorrow anyway.”