“Show me.”
It is a plea, a command, a desire, an apology.
Adamek wrenches his hands away. He begs, “Don’t ask this of me.”
Her mind is made up. “I need to see it,” she says. “Please.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
They sit on Adamek’s bed, still barefoot, nestled high in the treetops. His room at the lodge is isolated, probably by request. They had to walk across numerous bridges and climb several sets of stairs to get here. Nazirah’s own room resides much closer to the ground and civilization. There are no windows here, but one of the walls is entirely open, providing a breathtaking view of the forest. Nazirah leans against the headboard, watching tree branches sway in the breeze. Adamek sits across from her. The silver briefcase rests innocuously between them.
He traces the steel. “I knew this day would come,” he says. Nazirah doesn’t respond. She reaches between them and enters the code, unlocking the case. Adamek only shakes his head. He removes two filled syringes and the glass cube, then slides the case under the bed. Adamek sticks Nazirah in the vein, then himself, and discards the syringes. “You injected yourself?” he asks curiously. “When you looked into my memory?”
“It’s not like I could exactly ask Niko to do it for me.”
“What about Caal?”
“Of course not,” she retorts. “He doesn’t even know. That was private.”
“Yes,” he says. “It was.”
“Why do you replay that memory over and over?” she asks, watching him clear the Iluxor. Adamek touches the top, concentrating. It fills with the familiar, swirling mist, glittering in the darkness.
“For the same reason you need to see this one,” he answers. “For closure … for a reminder.”
“A reminder?”
“To that doubtful part inside of you,” he says darkly. “How much you really do crave vengeance.”
Adamek reaches for her hand but Nazirah pulls it away, suddenly afraid. She feels completely unprepared. He sighs, grabbing the rungs of the headboard on either side of her head.
“Is it really bad?” she asks softly.
“That’s an impossible question.”
Adamek rests his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. Nazirah shuts hers as well, inhaling his scent of cardamom and sage. She whispers, “Nothing has to change.”
Adamek waits another moment before pulling back. His eyes flit over her face, memorizing every last freckle, fleck, and hue. He takes her hand in his, places them both onto the glass.
“Everything has to change.”
#
Something is burning.
Nazirah opens her eyes and pulls her hand away from Adamek, who stands before her silently. She’s in the front garden of her cottage, which is blossoming with gardenias and jasmine. Riva opens a window, scowling in frustration as she clears out smoke from the kitchen. Nazirah watches Riva relocate to the living room. Kasimir follows her, laughing. Nazirah’s heart swells, practically bursting at the sight of them.
Something creaks to her right. Nazirah turns, watches Adamek Morgen stroll through the rusty gate and up the porch steps. He’s dressed exactly like she expects, all in black with fingerless gloves on. A luxury car is parked out front, still running. He isn’t even trying to be discreet. Coming here to kill her parents is an inconvenience, nothing else. Adamek stops at the door, listening closely.
“I can’t believe I forgot about the bread, Kas,” Riva says faintly.
“Your mind is preoccupied,” Kasimir replies. “She’ll be home soon.”
“Idiots,” Adamek says. He retrieves a foreign device from his pocket, waves it over the door. The door unlocks instantly. Nazirah is propelled inside by the memory. She can hear her parents talking, out of sight, mere feet away.
“Nazirah Nation,” Kasimir bellows. “Get your scrawny behind in here!”
“Have we come to face the music?” Riva snaps.
Adamek smirks, retrieving a pistol from his jacket. He loads the chamber, racks the slide, and steps into the room. “We could say that,” he mocks.
Shock crosses Kasimir’s face. He stands, fearless, shielding Riva. “I know who you are, Adamek Morgen!” he proclaims. “Let my wife go, you bastard! Take me!”
Adamek stifles a yawn. “My parents were actually married when I was conceived,” he says. “But I appreciate the concern.”
He pulls the trigger, shooting Kasimir in the chest. Kasimir slumps to the floor, lifeless. Riva cries out as blood splatters her beautiful face. She sinks down beside her dead husband, sobbing, holding him in her frail arms. Eridian teardrops fall, intermixing with Oseni blood. “Devil!” she wails, fire in her eyes. “Your day will come!”
A second shot sears the air. Riva collapses over Kasimir’s body, wooden puppet with cut strings. Adamek stares emotionlessly at the star-crossed tableau before turning to leave. He turns off the lights and closes the door behind him.
#
Nazirah smacks Adamek across the face.
Then again.
She rises from the bed, gasping for air. Nazirah lifts the Iluxor and hurls it against the nearest wall. It shatters into thousands of tiny shards, glass blowing across the room like the winds of reckoning. Sharp stings cut the soles of her feet. She barely notices.
Nazirah pounds the wall. She wrenches her hair. She walks to the open space until her feet are half over the edge. Nazirah screams into the unanswering forest, flirting with death and wishing she could tumble into obliterating darkness – then pulls back. She whirls around, seething. Nazirah has heard her mother’s last wish, has already made the vow. Adamek Morgen will have his day. And Nazirah Nation will give it to him.
“Get up.”
He rises silently. Nazirah shoves him, but he doesn’t budge. She beats his chest, a barrage of ineffectual fists, unable to crack his ribcage. Collapsing before him, she sobs, animalistic, squeezing the backs of his calves. Her hands slide down, grabbing his ankles. She rests her forehead on the floor before his feet. Reality is escaping her, slipping through her fingers like grains of sand on the shore.
She stands, circles him like a condor preying on the carcass of death. Eyes black, Nazirah unsheathes the dagger from her back pocket, shaking fingers clenched around the handle. The same blade that carved her olive branch of bark will now resurrect her honor.
She is going to kill him.
He is going to let her.
Nazirah grabs Adamek’s throat, feels his pulse. That same pulse she wanted to still the first day they met, now thumping irregularly through his skin. She looks him in the eye, determined, holding the blade against his neck. His mask is down. Nazirah sees the pain, the guilt, the remorse, the acceptance. She sees it all, but she doesn’t pull her hand away. She doesn’t push it in either.
“Do it,” he says.
She doesn’t move.
“Do it!” he repeats.
And still, Nazirah remains frozen in purgatory, unable to choose heaven or hell, unable to decide which is which.
“Take it!” he yells. Adamek wraps his hand around hers, shaking in anger, both of them holding the dagger now. “Take your revenge!”
“I won’t make a martyr out of you,” she says, making her choice. She wrenches her hand away, letting the knife fall to the floor. Shock and disappointment register on his face. “You aren’t worth salvation.”
And, in the most selfish moment of her life, Nazirah kisses him first.
A delayed second – and then he’s kissing her back, brutalizing her mouth. Adamek grabs her waist roughly. Nazirah stands on tiptoe, frantically clawing the front of his shirt. She tries to climb up him, slips, needs to reach him better. Adamek hunches, walks her backwards. Nazirah’s leg hits the end of the bed. She stumbles, falling onto the mattress. Gasping, Adamek breaks away. Maintaining eye contact, he slowly unbuttons his shirt. He slips it off his shoulders, tosses it onto the floor.