Slowly he stood up. He winced slightly, more from anticipation of pain than pain itself, as his wings also caught on the bunk. He wobbled a bit and had to steady himself. His new legs would take a bit of getting used to. It was so nice to stretch a bit, not much, his horns hit the ceiling when he stood up all the way. He flexed his claws and went up and bounced on his knees and heels a bit. Oh! if only he could go out like this. Wouldn’t it be great! No bullies would ever pick on him again. He’d show them. He, Rupert, was someone worthy of respect. He was someone! He was a demon, and he was Tom’s son.
Chapter 57
Edwyrd knocked on the door to the cabin. He’d been away for the last hour and now wanted to check on Rupert and see if he’d be able to change back so Jenn could visit him. The boy had thought he would be in a little bit. He’d actually suggested, sheepishly, that he’d rather stay as he was and have Jenn have to deal with him being a demon. Edwyrd had just looked down at him with a ‘you’ve got to be kidding’ look. Rupert had admitted it might not be the best thing to do on a closed ship.
Amazingly enough, Rupert seemed to be extremely happy being a demon. A rather remarkable difference to Tom’s opinions, Edwyrd thought. At least a difference to his original thoughts. He wasn’t so sure now. Being Edwyrd certainly made social situations easier to deal with, but being a demon did have undeniable advantages. As long as one was not enslaved that was. Tom could admit however, to understanding Rupert’s reticence about turning back into a scrawny human. Human flesh was really almost unbearably fragile and tiny.
What Edwyrd didn’t know how to deal with, was Rupert’s assumption that Tom was his father. The idea was absurd for obvious reasons. The most obvious being that it was physically impossible. Even if he’d been a demon all his life, rather than a few weeks, he was still only five to six years older than Rupert. The problem was that the kid was obviously so excited about being Tom’s son that Edwyrd didn’t want to crush his dreams so soon after being electrocuted. The other problem was that Rupert looked so much like Tom, that if he denied it, Rupert would be sure he was lying. After all, how could two completely unrelated demons looks so much alike? Actually, Edwyrd wasn’t even sure that related demons should look alike. How many demons had relatives? Or, at least, demonic relatives, he corrected himself, thinking of his parents and relatives.
Of course, if he completely explained the situation to Rupert, that he was just a brand new demon and couldn’t be Rupert’s father, Rupert might understand. The problem was, he was almost certain Rupert wouldn’t believe it. He knew Jenn would laugh in his face if he tried to convince her he really did look like Edwyrd. These people, especially wizards, were so conditioned about demons; they would never believe the truth. He had to admit, the longer he went on, the more he had trouble believing it.
Not that he didn’t believe it. No, intellectually he knew it, it was just the longer he participated in this shared hallucination about demons, the more he believed it. He kept finding himself thinking of demons as demons, fiends of the Abyss, not human beings in weird shapes. Kept thinking of himself as a demon disguising himself as a human.
Actually, this really frightened him. The longer he went on, the more he thought of himself as a demon. One would hope that being Edwyrd would help him get in touch with his humanity. On the contrary, it seemed. The longer he was Edwyrd, the less he wanted to be human. More and more he just wanted to switch back to being a demon. Was he losing his humanity? Already, his life in Harding seemed like it was in the distant past, and not just a few weeks ago. Edwyrd was frightened that if things went on much longer, he might forget all about his past life. He might stop wanting to go home.
A chill went down Edwyrd’s spine. No, that was ridiculous. He definitely wanted to go home. If he could, he would do it in an instant. Without any hesitation he’d give up this Edwyrd form, give up running around with nutso wizards for no good reason other than he gave his word. Give up his demon body and powers. In an instant he’d put Jenn and Gastropé, pains in the rear, both, behind him. He’d go back to Harding and forget about being a demon, forget about Rupert. He would, wouldn’t he?
Actually, he didn’t know. That scared him. What had these wizards done to him? What had he allowed himself to become. He wasn’t even sure of himself anymore. He didn’t know what he wanted. He knew what he should want, he just wasn’t sure that he did want it.
Rupert was one of the truest friends he had in a long time, even if the kid was friendly for the wrong reason. Boggy and Tizzy were pretty good guys too. While Jenn and Gastropé weren’t much, especially when he was Tom, they were at least as good of friends to Edwyrd as any he had managed to make in Harding. Sure, some of his old friends had been closer than Jenn or Gastropé, but closer than the others? Again, he didn’t know. Why couldn’t things be clear-cut and simple. Why must everything be a shade of ambivalence?
Edwyrd took a deep breath and knocked again. “Rupert? Are you awake? can Jenn come in?”
“Yes, I’d like to see her.” Rupert’s voice sounded like his old one, plus he seemed to be sounding weak, tired. Jenn, standing behind Edwyrd, smiled a smile of relief. Edwyrd glanced at her, seeing a lot of built up tension drain away. He opened the door a crack and stepped back. Jenn hurried in. Edwyrd glanced back to Gastropé standing in the doorway to the main deck, watching.
Tom heard Jenn talking softly to Rupert. She sounded like she was sobbing tears of relief, a bit. Suddenly, he distinctly heard her call, “Edwyrd!” Edwyrd quickly opened the door wide again and looked in at her. She was staring at him in surprise. “What have you done?”
“What do you mean?”
“His hair!” She brushed her hands through Rupert’s hair, “his face!”
Edwyrd moved in for a closer look in the poor light of the room. He hadn’t seen Rupert since he’d changed back, but he quickly spotted what disturbed Jenn. While Rupert still looked unmistakably like Rupert, his hair was a lot curlier, the angles of his face were ever-so-slightly different. He had more freckles. In short he looked a lot more like a young version of Edwyrd than he had before! Edwyrd glared into Rupert’s sweetly smiling, angelic, face.
Edwyrd shut the door to the deck behind him as he marched down the corridor to their cabin. A small oil lamp, carefully protected, gave off enough light for him to see his way down the corridor. He wasn’t sure how he’d survived the remainder of the afternoon. Jenn had spent quite a while checking over Rupert, then Maelen had run his tests. Neither seemed to find anything amiss. Other than the fact that Rupert suddenly looked more like Edwyrd’s little brother than his cousin.
After she’d finished her examination, Jenn had cornered him on that one. He’d babbled something about the special animage healing link bringing them very close together, and temporarily bringing out a stronger family resemblance. He assured her it would pass with time. He wasn’t sure he’d convinced her. Maelen had just looked at him askance when he finished his examination. Thankfully, he hadn’t wanted to question Edwyrd further.
Jenn and Gastropé had then been distracted by the captain. Apparently, he wanted to know if there was anything the wizards could do to speed them on their journey. The loss of one and a half masts was a rather significant impediment to their journey. He’d overheard Jenn say something about maybe trying to increase the wind slightly tomorrow, after she’d had time to rest. For some reason, none of the crew approached Edwyrd with any such questions. In fact they all maintained a rather good distance from him, and an overly respectful attitude.