"I don't have a grumbly thing going on!"
"Do too,” I shot back.
He huffed. "I'm sorry. It's just that...you make me uncomfortable."
I blinked, taken aback. I made him uncomfortable? Was that why he had been avoiding me?
“Is this because of that day? Because I am sorry about that, I shouldn’t have acted like a bitch towards you.”
“No,” he exhaled. “Though you were a bit of a bitch, but no, that’s not why.”
“Is it because of Percy?” I asked, my voice small as I tried to broach the subject lightly, even though I didn’t possess much tact.
His head snapped to face me, his eyes wide. “What?”
“…Because you have a crush on him.”
“How did you?!” He coughed, halting his words. “I mean, no I don’t.”
I rolled my eyes. "It’s 2019, Jason. Being gay is probably the most normal thing you can be nowadays.”
“I’m not gay,” He said, his tone clipped.
“Jason, seriously, it’s okay. Percy is a very good-looking guy, but if you have feelings for him, I won’t encroach on your territory, or at least try not to. I can’t help if Percy feels anything for me, but I’ll try not to...I just don’t want you to feel intimidated by me or anything.”
I knew I was rambling, but this was just so awkward, and I really didn’t know what to say to the guy.
“Oh, for fuck's sake,” he groaned.
Jason slammed on the breaks, jerking us to a stop, threw the car into park and turned towards me. Without any warning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.
His lips were so warm and far softer than I would have imagined. Then, when he touched my cheek and tilted my head to deepen the kiss? Oh, he tasted like chocolate.
I sunk into his touch and kissed him back with reverence, starved for this unthreatening intimacy. Gripping his shirt, I pulled him just a little bit closer. All too quickly he pulled away, his thumb stroking my cheek.
“That’s why I’ve felt uncomfortable.” His voice was breathy, eyes a little wide, and lips parted in such a way that made me want to tug him back to me.
“Because you wanted to kiss me?” I asked, my voice just as breathy.
He leaned back in, brushing his lips against mine for a much more chaste kiss.
“Because I…there are certain expectations in my family and I’m not really allowed,” He sighed and cursed under his breath. “I can’t really get into it.”
My eyebrows shot up. "Oh my god. Is this because I’m black?”
“What?!” he shot ramrod straight and looked me dead in the eyes. “Of course not!”
“Then what?” I asked skeptically as I crossed my arms.
“I like you. You’ve got this…spark. My mother’s family though, they are really strict and expect certain things from me.”
“And you let your family control who you can and can't be interested in?”
“No.”
“Really? Because that’s what this sound like,”
He deflated. “Okay yes.”
“I’m not about to tell you how to live your life, Jason. We hardly know each other. But I will say that letting other people control your life? It’s not worth it. You’ll be much happier taking ahold of your own future.”
He chuckled. “You say it like you have experience.”
My brain stalled for a moment as I couldn’t really tell him why I knew he would be happier without someone controlling his life. Luckily, the first thing that came to mind seemed to work.
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one,” I blurted out, sounding a lot wiser than
“Who said that one?” He asked, tilting his head, a small smile playing his lips.
“The great George R. R. Martin.”
“Ah, the man of many stories…get it? Because he goes into the backstory of everything?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I got it.”
Jason giggled, yes, giggled, for a few moments at his own joke. When he stopped, he was looking at me like he wanted to devour me. He probably would have, if a car didn’t honk at us to move. With a sigh, he shifted the car back into drive.
We sat in slightly uncomfortable silence for a few moments. My mind was racing thinking about Jason and his kiss, curious about what was up with his family. I wanted to ask, but it wasn’t my place to go poking around even if I wanted to.
Not wanting to suffer in the awkward silence any longer, I spewed out the first thing that came to mind. “So, do you have a crush on Percy? I know you said you weren’t gay, it’s just that I kind of saw…well.”
I bit my lip and pointed to his crotch.
He followed my finger and groaned. “Fucking hell, woman. Fine! Yes, I have a crush on Percy! Have for a long time.”
“Does he know?”
He blew a raspberry. “This is really weird, you know. I just kissed you and you’re focused on my crush on another man?”
“I’m sorry,” I squeaked. “I don’t get kissed often! Especially by guys I don’t actually know that well, and I thought hated me until like a minute ago!”
Jason opened and closed his mouth several times. Trying to look for something to say but coming up with nothing.
We were silent for a few more moments before he finally said. “I’m sorry. For avoiding you, I mean. I didn’t really know what to do about the crush I was developing, so I just kind of ran like a coward,” He licked his lips, drawing my attention to them. “As for Percy…no, he doesn’t know. I’m pretty sure he sees me only as a kid, and I wouldn’t really be allowed to date him anyway.”
He looked really sad in that moment. I could only imagine what it was like to not only have the weight of your family rejecting your feelings, but also to have your crush thinking of you as a child.
I wanted to reach out and touch him. I felt that was a tad too intimate though, so instead I just smiled. “Thank you for apologizing.” I paused before adding “I’m sorry about Percy.”
The odd tension between us settled, and we drove the rest of the way back to my house in comfortable silence between my directions.
When we parked, he turned to me and said, “You're right.”
“Of course I’m right… What am I right about?”
“I shouldn’t let what my family might think get in the way of the things that I want. Atalanta, will you go out on a date with me this Saturday?” He asked, his face adorably bashful as his cheeks blushed and his mouth turned up into an adorable smile.
“A date?” I squeaked.
“Yeah, we could get to know each other better and I could show you that I’m more than just a jerk who lets his family push him around.”
Seeing as how I had no real life, I was undoubtedly free this Saturday, but I needed to consider the implications of going on this date. He wanted me to get to know him better, and assuming there would be a quid pro quo I would probably have to give something of myself in return. I could certainly pull it off if I was careful enough and studied Atalanta North’s history packet. I really wanted to go on this date, and knowing Cal would certainly encourage it, I smiled and agreed.
Chapter Nine
Atalanta
The next day at school was a pleasant one. Instead of ignoring me, Jason actually sought me out between classes, including me in conversations during the classes I had him in and even invited me to sit with himself, Margo, and Davie during lunch. They chose to sit outside for some strange reason, instead of inside where it was nice and warm. It was a lot quieter though, so that was a plus.