He handed her a soft blue chambray shirt. "You might want to put this on. There's a bathroom off the kitchen."
She realized she was still clutching the front of her dress. Taking the shirt from him, she excused herself and went into the bathroom. As she gazed at her reflection in the mirror, she saw that her eyes were large and vulnerable, windows into all her secrets. She straightened her hair with her fingers and rubbed at the mascara smudges with a tissue. Only when she felt calm did she leave the bathroom.
The shirt he had given her hung to mid-thigh, and she rolled up the sleeves as she came into the kitchen where he was pulling a loaf of whole wheat bread and a package of sandwich meat from the refrigerator.
"How about roast beef?"
"I'm not much of a beef eater."
"I've got some salami here, or turkey breast."
"Plain cheese would be fine."
"Grilled cheese? I'm real good at that."
He was so eager to please, she couldn't help smiling. "All right."
"Do you want wine or a beer? I've also got some iced tea."
"Iced tea, please." She took a seat at an old butternut drop leaf table.
He poured both of them a glass and then began fixing the sandwiches. A copy of Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time lay open on the table. She used it as an opportunity to restore some semblance of normality between them. "Pretty heavy reading for a jock."
"If I sound out all the words, it's not too bad."
She smiled.
He tossed the sandwiches into an iron skillet. "It's an interesting book. Gives you a lot to think about: quarks, gravity waves, black holes. I always liked science when I was in school."
"I think I'll wait for the movie." Taking a sip of iced tea, she pushed the book aside. "Tell me what happened with Molly."
He braced his hip against the edge of the stove. "That kid's a crackerjack. I met her inside when I was making my phone call. She told me some pretty hair-raising things about you."
"Like what?"
"Like the fact that you're keeping her a prisoner in the house. You tear up her mail, put her on bread and water when you're mad at her. And you're slapping her around."
"What!" Phoebe nearly knocked over her iced tea.
"She told me it doesn't hurt."
Phoebe was flabbergasted. "Why would she say something like that?"
"She doesn't seem to like you too much."
"I know. She's like a fussy maiden aunt. She disapproves of the way I dress; she doesn't think my jokes are funny. She doesn't even like Pooh."
"That might be good judgment on her part."
She glared at him.
He smiled. "As a matter of fact, your dog was cuddled around her ankles most of the time we talked. They seemed to be old friends."
"I don't think so."
"Well, I might be wrong."
"She honestly told you I slap her?"
"Yes, ma'am. She said you weren't evil, just twisted. I believe she compared you with somebody named Rebecca. The first Mrs. de Winter."
"Rebecca?" Understanding dawned, and she shook her head. "All that talk about Dostoyevski and the little stinker is reading Daphne du Maurier." For a moment she was thoughtful. "How do you know she wasn't telling you the truth? Adults slap children all the time."
"Phoebe, when you were standing on the sidelines at the game, you looked like you were going to faint whenever anybody took a hard hit. Besides, you just don't have the killer instinct." He turned to flip the sandwiches. "For example-correct me if I'm wrong here-but I'm guessing it's more than a fickle appetite that made you turn down Viktor's barbecue that day we ate in your kitchen, not to mention that good sandwich meat I've got in my refrigerator."
This man definitely saw too much. "All those nitrates aren't healthy."
"Uh-huh. Come on, sweetheart, you can tell Papa Dan your ugly little secret. You're a vegetarian, aren't you."
"Lots of people don't eat meat," she said defensively.
"Yeah, but most of them are on their soapbox about it. You don't say a thing."
"It's nobody's business. I simply happen to like unclogged arteries, that's all."
"Now, Phoebe, you're wiggling around the truth again. I have a feeling your eating habits don't have anything to do with your arteries."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Tell me the truth now."
"All right! I like animals. It's not a crime! Even when I was a child I couldn't stand the idea of eating one of them."
"Why are you so secretive about it?"
"I don't mean to be secretive. It's just-I'm not philosophically pure. I won't wear fur, but I have a closet full of leather shoes and belts, and I hate all those hair-splitting discussions people try to push you into. Some of my reticence is habit, I guess. The housemother at my old boarding school used to make it rough on me."
"How was that?"
"We once had a showdown over a pork chop when I was eleven years old. I ended up sitting at the dinner table most of the night."
"Thinking about Piglet, I bet."
"How did you know?"
"It's pretty obvious you're a big A.A. Milne fan, honey." His eyes were warm with amusement. "Go on. What happened?"
"The housemother eventually called Bert. He yelled at me, but I couldn't eat it. After that, the other girls came to my rescue. They took turns sneaking my meat onto their plates."
"That doesn't entirely explain why you're so secretive about it now."
"Most people think vegetarianism is a little kooky, and my kook quotient is high enough as it is."
"I don't think I ever met anybody other than football players who invests so much energy in pretending to be tough."
"I am tough."
"Sure you are."
His grin annoyed her. "Just because I wasn't strong enough to fight you off tonight doesn't mean I'm not tough."
He immediately looked so stricken that she wished she'd held her tongue.
"I'm really sorry about that. I've never hurt a woman in my life. Well, except for Valerie, but that was-"
"I don't want to hear it."
He turned off the heat under the skillet and walked over to the table. "I've explained what happened, and I've apologized every way I know how. Will you accept my honest apology, or is this going to be lurking around every time we're together?"
His eyes were so full of concern she had a nearly uncontrollable urge to slip into his arms and ask him if he would just hold her for a few minutes. "I accept your apology."
"An honest acceptance or one of those female things where a woman tells a man she forgives him for something, but then spends all her spare time thinking up ways to make him feel guilty?"
"Does Valerie do that?"
"Honey, every woman I've been close to has done that."
She tried to slip back into her old role. "Life's tough when you're irresistible to the opposite sex."
"Spoken by someone who knows."
When she attempted to frame a retort, nothing came out, and she realized that she didn't have any resources left to play the part she had staked out for herself. "Those sandwiches must be just about done by now."
He went back to the stove, where he checked the bottoms of the sandwiches with a spatula, then lifted them out of the skillet. After neatly halving them, he returned to the table with two brown pottery plates and sat in one of the captain's chairs.