For several seconds Cassandra remained frozen in place, scarcely able to breathe, her heart thundering so loud she could hear it pounding in her ears. Her gaze shifted to her mother, whose countenance bore the same look of utter unconcern as her father. Not that she’d expected to find an ally in the woman who’d never once taken her side against her father. Still, it just brought to the fore with bone-jarring intensity the stark realization that she was, once again, completely alone.
Feeling as if her blood had chilled to ice, Cassandra forced herself to hold her head high and walked stiffly from the room. She made her way down the corridor to the foyer, each step tightening the coil of misery and anger twisting inside her. By the time she gained her bedchamber, her breathing had hitched into broken, furious sobs, and tears ran down her face unchecked.
Why had she not anticipated this turn of events? How was it possible that after all she’d been through, she possessed enough naïveté to believe she’d be able to return to her childhood home and quietly live out the rest of her life?
You have no choice. Her father’s words rang through her mind like a funeral knell, the most hated words she’d ever heard. Words she was sick to death of hearing. Of living by. Words she never wanted to hear again.
She paced across the Axminster carpet in small, jerky steps. Dear God, how was it possible that only a few hours ago she’d felt so euphorically happy, and now she felt such profound emptiness and despair?
Because a few hours ago, you were with Ethan.
Ethan. She halted her pacing and squeezed her eyes closed. Dear God, she loved him so much. He made her happy. Made her laugh. Made her feel wanted. Needed. In a way no one else ever had. While she wasn’t certain of the depth of his feelings, he obviously cared for her. And desired her. She didn’t doubt she’d made him happy, at least for one night.
She opened her eyes and drew in a shaky breath, her mind suddenly racing. You have no choice. But she was filled with the realization and hope that perhaps she did have a choice-if she had the courage. The courage to consign convention to the devil, to disregard the rules of society that had governed her entire life, and return to the Blue Seas Inn. To tell Ethan how she felt about him. To ask what he felt for her. If his feelings amounted to even a fraction of what she felt for him, then there was the chance that he might want her to stay. And if so, she would. Not because she had nowhere else to go, but because she wanted to be with him-wherever he was.
The scandal would ruin her, cut off any hope of ever reentering society. Her parents would surely disown her. She’d forfeit any possibility of ever returning to Gateshead Manor.
And none of that mattered one bit.
She had nothing to offer Ethan except herself. But perhaps, if she was very, very lucky, that would be enough.
I can’t bear to say good-bye. Well, neither could she. At least not without a fight.
Filled with a sense of elated hope she couldn’t recall ever before experiencing, she crossed the room and pulled the bell cord. A moment later a knock sounded on the door, and Sophie entered the room.
“Yes, milady?”
Cassandra crossed to her, then said, “I know you and Mr. Watley are departing tomorrow to return to the Westmore estate, but-”
“Oh yes, milady,” Sophie broke in quickly. “I accept.”
“Accept?”
“I’d be honored to remain here with you instead.” A shy smile curved her lips. “Yer the kindest lady I’ve ever served. Truth be told, I wasn’t lookin’ forward to returnin’ to Westmore. The new earl’s wife ain’t half as nice as you. Nasty temper, she has.”
Cassandra’s hands clenched at the thought of Sophie being subjected to anyone’s nasty temper. “Thank you, Sophie. You’re the best lady’s maid I’ve ever had. But what I wanted to tell you is that I’m leaving Gateshead Manor. Today. And I’m not coming back.”
Sophie blinked. “Leavin’, milady? But ye’ve only just arrived. Where are ye goin’?”
“Back to the Blue Seas Inn. Where I intend to remain.”
Sophie’s eyes widened. “Oh…I see,” she said, although it was clear she didn’t see at all. Indeed, the young woman looked…lost.
An idea hit Cassandra, and she said slowly, “If you would like to come with me, you are welcome to do so, Sophie, although I cannot promise what the future holds. I completely understand that a village inn cannot compare to this estate-”
“I’d be honored to accompany ye, milady,” the maid cut in, her voice filled with obvious relief. “I’d rather be with ye there than without ye at Westmore.” She offered Cassandra another shy smile. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Mr. Watley decided to inquire about work at the Blue Seas. Quite taken with the fine stables there he was. Westmore’s stable master is a nasty piece, and Mr. Watley weren’t lookin’ forward to being under his thumb again.”
Reaching out, Cassandra squeezed Sophie’s hands and returned her smile. “It’s all settled then. If you’ll see to the packing, I’ll go to the stables and inform Mr. Watley of our plans.”
And then she’d tell her parents she was leaving. And then she’d be on her way to Ethan. And hopefully he’d want her to stay.
Chapter Eight
After arranging with Mr. Watley to have the carriage brought around as quickly as possible, Cassandra entered the house through the French windows at the rear terrace. She’d just stepped into the black and white tiled marble foyer when she heard her father’s voice, laced with frigid anger, coming from the library door, which stood ajar.
“Get the bloody hell out of my house.”
“Not until I’ve spoken to Cassie.”
She froze in shocked disbelief at the sound of Ethan’s voice-filled with a cold determination she’d never before heard.
“When I booted you from Gateshead Manor ten years ago I told you to never return.”
“And I’ll gladly leave as soon as I’ve seen Cassie.”
“You’ll leave now or I’ll carve up your right cheek the way I did the left one.”
Everything in Cassandra froze-her blood, her breath, as if an unseen icy fist constricted her. Several long seconds of silence followed, and the awful truth of her father’s words sank in.
“I assure you, you’d have one hell of a time doing so,” came Ethan’s quiet reply, no less threatening due to its softness.
“Ten years ago you thought you could get away with kissing my daughter-you who are worth even less than what you mucked out of my stalls. I saw the way you looked at her. Given the chance you’d have lifted her skirts, and she was just stupid and useless enough to let you.”
“You won’t talk about her that way in my presence.”
Her father gave a bark of harsh laughter. “I’ll do exactly as I please, which includes not listening to any more from you. Get out. Now. Before I have you thrown out.”
“Again, I assure you you’d have one hell of a time doing so before I speak to Cassie.”
Another short silence followed, during which Cassandra snapped out of her stunned state. She started toward the library, but before she’d taken even two steps, the door opened, hard enough for it to bounce back on its hinges, and Ethan strode into the corridor, his face set in grim lines, looking large and dark and dangerously determined. He halted for several heartbeats when he saw her, then moved swiftly toward her. Seconds later he clasped her shoulders.
“Cassie,” he said, his gaze anxiously searching her face. “Are you all right?”
God help her, she didn’t know. The things her father had said, the ramifications of those words…but she’d have to think on that later. She jerked her head in a nod. “I’m fine. I cannot believe you are here.”
“I need to talk to you-”