Avdotya(interrupting) It was me who bid ‘no trumps’!
KosykhThat’s ridiculous! . . . Let me tell you – you had – I had – no, you had – Lebedev, you be the judge. In diamonds, I had ace, king –
Lebedev(stops his ears) Stop! – Leave me alone! –
Avdotya(shouts) I was the one who said ‘no trumps’!
Kosykh(furiously) I’ll be damned if I ever sit down to play with you again, you old trout!
He rushes into the garden. The Second Guest follows him out. Yegorushka is left at the table.
AvdotyaWell! . . . I’m all upset now. Trout, indeed. Trout yourself!
BabakinaYes, but you lost your temper, too, Granny.
Avdotya(seeing Babakina, throws up her hands with delight) My lovely one and only! Here she is, and I’m such a blind old bat I never noticed her. My little darling . . . my dove –
She kisses Babakina’s shoulder and sits down beside her.
Let me look at you! You’re a snow queen – I’ll stop before I tempt providence – spit, spit –
She spits twice over her shoulder.
LebedevShe’s off again. What you should do, dear, is find her a husband . . .
AvdotyaAnd see if I don’t! Sinner that I am, I won’t go to my grave till I’ve seen her married. And that goes for Sasha too. I won’t rest. (Sighs.) Only, where do you find a real man these days? Look at them – preening themselves like a bunch of cockerels caught in the rain.
Third GuestYou couldn’t be more wrong – young men nowadays want to stay single, and if you want my opinion it’s because of the state of society and the economic –
LebedevYou’ve set him off. We don’t want dissertations on the state of society, thank you.
Sasha enters and goes up to her father.
SashaSuch a lovely evening, and you’re all cooped up in this stuffy room!
ZinaidaSashenka, haven’t you noticed who’s come to visit?
SashaOh – excuse me, Marfa.
She goes up to Babakina and greets her.
BabakinaYou’ve become such a lady, Sasha, you haven’t been over to see me, not once. (They kiss.) Happy birthday, my dear.
SashaThank you.
She sits down next to her father.
LebedevI know what you mean, Avdotya, and it’s not just husbands who are hard to come by – you can’t even find a decent best man. Today’s lot – no offence – have gone off somehow, they’ve turned like milk, poor things, they’re curdled – don’t dance, don’t know how to talk or drink . . .
AvdotyaHumph! They know how to drink, given half a chance.
LebedevDrinking’s nothing, a horse can drink. I’m talking about drinking with a point to it. In my day, you’d slog away at your studies all day, come the evening you’d head for the nearest place with lights in the window and spin like a top till dawn . . . dance the plyaska and have a laugh with all the girls and who’s-for-another, get me? – (He makes the drinking sign.) – and tell stories and philosophise till your tongue fell out. Young men today . . . (Waves his hand dismissively.) I don’t understand them. No use to God or the devil. In the whole district, there’s only one real man, and he’s married . . . (Sighs.) And he seems to be on the slide . . .
BabakinaWho’s that?
LebedevNikolay Ivanov.
BabakinaYes, he’s all right. (Pulls a face.) Not a happy man, though.
ZinaidaYou’re right there, darling, and he’s got enough to be unhappy about, poor fool – (Sighs.) What a mistake that was, married his Jewess and thought the parents would hand over buckets of cash but no such luck. The moment she got herself baptised, they’ve had nothing to do with her, cut her off. So he didn’t get a kopek. He’s regretting it now, too late.
SashaMama, that’s not true.
Babakina(heatedly) What do you mean, Sasha? – everyone knows it’s true! Why did he marry that Abramovna if it wasn’t for the money? Aren’t there enough Russian girls? He made a mistake, darling, and – (Gaily.)– my goodness, is she paying for it! It’s enough to make a cat laugh. He arrives home from somewhere and he’s going on at her from the word go – ‘Your parents swindled me – get out of my house!’ But where could she go? Her parents won’t take her back. She’d have to go into service, I suppose, but she’s never been trained to work. And he never leaves off. The Count has to step in, that’s what I’ve heard – if it weren’t for him, Ivanov would have done for his Anna long ago.
AvdotyaNot only that, he locks her in the cellar and makes her eat garlic till it’s coming out in her sweat.
Laughter.
SashaIt’s all lies, Papa!
LebedevSo what? Let them jabber away, if it makes them feel better. (Shouts.) Gavrila! . . .
Gavrila serves him vodka and water.
ZinaidaAnd now the poor man is going to rack and ruin. He and his Jew-girl would be starving if it wasn’t for Misha Borkin keeping the estate going. (Sighs.) Not to mention how we’re suffering for it, my dear. God only knows the suffering he’s caused us. Would you believe me if I told you he’s owed us nine thousand roubles for three years now?
Babakina(in horror) Nine thousand . . .!
ZinaidaYes, my Pavel, who can’t tell a good loan from a bad one, lent him nine thousand. And it’s not just the capital, may the Good Lord watch over it – but you’d think he might pay the interest when it’s due.
Sasha(heatedly) Mama, we’ve heard this a thousand times before!
ZinaidaWhat’s that to you? Why are you standing up for him anyway?
SashaAnd how have you got the nerve, talking this way about someone who’s never done you any harm? What’s he ever done to you, tell me that?
Third GuestMiss Alexandra, allow me to say a couple of words! I respect Nikolay Alekseevich, I really do, it’s an honour to know him, but entre nous I’d say he’s a bit of a chancer.
SashaOh, would you? – Well, I hope you feel better for it!
Third GuestIf you want proof, consider this for a fact, told me by his bulldog, Borkin. Two years ago he bought cattle in the middle of the epidemic, insured them . . .
ZinaidaYes – I remember that. I heard about it too.
Third GuestHe insured them, then, guess what, he infected them with cattle disease and collected the insurance!
SashaThat’s absolute rubbish! Nobody bought or infected any cattle! It was one of Borkin’s pet schemes, he went around bragging about it. When Ivanov got to hear of it, Borkin spent two weeks grovelling. Ivanov’s only fault is that he’s too kind and didn’t send that Borkin packing. He’s too trusting. People have cheated him out of everything he had. Anyone who feels inclined has made money out of his charitable works.