— Okay go ahead, Miss Waddams is waiting.
— First give me the quarter.
— Okay… here, now go ahead. Come on, go ahead.
— Okay I’m trying, can’t you see?
— Well come on hurry up, she’s waiting.
— I can’t, I must be out, like you’re the fifth…
— Well come on, try. Drink some water then.
— I drank this whole quart before I came to school, I can’t…
— Okay well drink some more.
— Out of what.
— This, use this.
— This? You must be crazy, anyway it don’t work that fast.
— Okay then just try, try once more, squeeze…
There was a crash of glass.
— There’s a market for everything Dan, you look like you’re good for a dollar’s worth yourself there and if you don’t mind my saying, I’d spend it on a new suit. There was a checked number on the rack they wouldn’t dare ask more than a dollar for and the one you’ve got on looks like a dog pissed right down your leg.
— Yes well that, that was just something that spilled but…
— If anybody mentions it just tell them you’re from Cleveland.
— What?
The door banged.
— Whiteback, step up and join us. Dan’s treating.
— Dan? Oh, oh Dan, came down the line a safe two stalls away, — glad to see you back Dan, but you don’t look…
— Just a small accident Whiteback, he ran into a neighbor from Cleveland. Rabbi Goldstein out there cuts on the bias.
— Yes well the ahm, the bandages that is to say Dan…
— Next one’s on the house gentlemen, sorry I can’t stay. Want to line up your teacher’s guide on this new circuitry lesson Dan, I tossed a copy on Whiteback’s desk. Compliments to the chef. Dum de dum, dum, cleft for me… and the door banged.
— You’re ahm, sure you should have come in this soon Dan, I mean it looks like you’re having some trouble there with ahm…
— No I’m all right I’m, it’s just this sling and these…
— Wait, wait let me get the door. Can you see where you’re going?
— Yes I’m all right I’m, I wanted to ask you what Coach meant when he…
— Yes well Coach is getting a little bit ahm, I mean I certainly wouldn’t say it was a small accident in terms of the ahm, the person you ran into wasn’t from, yes who ran into you that is to say wasn’t ahm… he led on past a clock as it severed what remained of a minute and a bell sounded, — from Cleveland of course…
— No what I, wait, wait why is everything so, all the halls are empty. Wasn’t that bell homeroom?
— Yes well things are a little off this morning Dan the ahm, Mister Gibbs is taking homeroom and it seems to be, he seems to be reading the entire declaration of the United ahm, United States Constitution that is to say… and the door marked Principal swung open lightly, bunged hollowly closed behind them — and of course classes can’t start moving until he ahm, my telephone…
— shall, without the consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other…
— Hello…? No he just walked out, who… What mystery what are you wait, he just walked in, Whiteback? Student librarian calling you about some wait a minute what is this, a joke?
— No no it’s ahm, come in Dan let me get the… hello? Yes this is Mister Whiteback have you… The Constitution yes, the U S Constitution, I told you to look in… who? What’s Charlie Chan got to do with… no no no I said history, a history book, with an h… Yes it’s c, o, n, s… all right look for a pencil…
— except treason, felony, and breach of the peace, be privileged from arrest during…
— Didn’t know they’d let you out of the hospital Dan, it looked like somebody trying to make a fool of me with that sling and the bandages over your…
— t, i, t… tution yes, I want to know how long it is so we’ll know when classes can start to… American yes, American history…
— Article one section seven. One. All bills…
— Yes I thought you were still in the hospital too, I…
— Mister Hyde stopped in to discuss the school budget defeat Dan, we just excuse me… hello? Yes this is… what? Oh Mister Stye yes, about the stolen baseballs yes and the… one adding machine and three typewriters over the weekend yes… Yes well that’s not really a school ahm… he paused for the muslin wing flapping before him, — I think Mister Hyde wants to speak to you himself, he… yes he’s right here that is to say… and the phone cord swept papers heaped to the floor.
— Hello, Stye? Say I just found out my insurance policy is, wait a minute. Can you reach the button with your good hand there Dan? turn off the sound on that crazy, yes hello? My policy yes… Yes with your company, keeping things all in the family, the… automobile yes, the… Oh you have? Yes the accident with diCephalis and… oh you do? I just got out this morning and… fine, if you call one arm in a cast and bandages all over my… Of course he’s still alive, he’s sitting right… Right, head on, that’s right, they… no I was in his car when my car came around the… no I wasn’t in my car, I was in his car when my car came around the… right, and hit my car, I mean his car head on, right, the whole… how the back of my car got damaged too? No that was something else, driving out here I stopped by the side of the… Well of course I was in my car when I drove it out here, how do you… Now wait, wait, let me start at the beginning. My car was stolen right here in front of the school and when I… What keys… No, before I drove out here my car was in a garage where they… in New York, yes, where they must have taken my address off my license and made duplicate keys for every… What do you mean? Because they walked right in the front door and carried out all three televisions, the washer, dryer, stereo, sauna, both slide projectors, the short wave… No, the reason the watch is on a separate claim is because it was a separate incident, I was driving up the… yes in my car, yes! I know it’s hard to… Well all right I know it all sounds…! No, when the claims adjuster from your company came up to see me in the hospital I gave him all this information and he… Well how could I give him complete descriptions without saying that every one of them was… what? What do you mean I… Well what do you mean it sounds like my testimony has racial overtones, how could… All right racial undertones, could I help it if every… All right could I help it if… what? What if they did find my keys in the ignition, it’s my car isn’t it? wasn’t it? Look you’re supposed to be my… No but your company is supposed to be my… No, I told him that happened when I was driving out here, I stopped for a light and a car pulled up beside me full of… what? Ripped it right off my wrist yes, before I could even… Trying to make the whole thing sound like a what? Look I’m not shouting but could I help it if…
— Get the phone, it’s sliding off the…
— Could I help it if every one of them was a… hello?
— Hurt your head Dan?
— No it’s, it’s all right I’m, I was just trying to pick up all these papers…
— Hello? Are you… who?
— I’m sorry, I squeezed the button when I caught it and…
— Who the, how did that happen. Somebody calling you here, Whiteback. He must have hung right up in my face.
— Yes excuse me, hello? This is Mister… Pecci?
— He tells me I’m imagining a conspiracy and then hangs up in my face, how do you like that.
— Yes no Mister Pecci isn’t here no, no he should be here in a… in the newspaper this morning yes, the smear story that is to say, of course the… no your name wasn’t mentioned, it just said the Town Board yes, the… yes Ganganelli, call Ganganelli, he… who? No, no Glancy hasn’t shown up, no we thought he was out sick but they said his car isn’t standing in his drive where he usually… oh he did? Yes well we’ve had some inquiries about it down to the bank, all bills he was sure that he’d paid yes, he showed me the stubs but the checks have never come in for payment, of course his wife had withdrawn nine hundred and eighty-three… Mrs Glancy yes, she… yes well of course I should be talking about this on the other telephone here, the line to the bank that is to… yes no don’t call back, no, call Ganganelli…